However, being able to regulate your emotions is a big part of EI. People who are wise and warm don't impulsively respond to things or act without thinking. From <a href="http://geni.us/HBRMREI">HBR's 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence </a>: Biological impulses drive our emotions. We cannot do away with them - but we can do much to manage them. Self-regulation, which is like an ongoing inner conversation, is the component of emotional intelligence that frees us from being prisoners of our feelings. People engaged in such a conversation feel bad moods and emotional impulses just as everyone else does, but they find ways to control them and even to channel them in useful ways.

From <a href="http://geni.us/HBRMREI">HBR's 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence </a>: Social skill, rather, is friendliness with a purpose: moving people in the direction you desire, whether that's agreement on a new marketing strategy or enthusiasm about a new product. Socially skilled people tend to have a wide circle of acquaintances, and they have a knack for finding common ground with people of all kinds-a knack for building rapport.

Plenty of people are motivated by external factors, such as a big salary or the status that comes from having an impressive title or being part of a prestigious company. By contrast, those with leadership potential are motivated by a deeply embedded desire to achieve for the sake of achievement.

However, being able to regulate your emotions is a big part of EI. People who are wise and warm don't impulsively respond to things or act without thinking. From <a href="http://geni.us/HBRMREI">HBR's 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence </a>: People who can self-regulate make better decisions, are more resilient, and act with more integrity. (They also tend not to eat an entire box of donuts in one sitting while obsessively checking Instagram, but this finding has yet to be supported by the literature.) <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2017/10/more-mindful/">Mindfulness </a>is an excellent, science-backed way to self-regulate. And while a full explanation of it is wayyyy beyond the scope of this post (you can get more info <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2017/10/more-mindful/">here </a>) a little "mini-meditation" can be a big help.

From <a href="http://geni.us/insight">Insight </a>: ...other people generally see us more objectively than we see ourselves. Psychologist Timothy Smith and his colleagues powerfully demonstrated this in a study with 300 married couples in which both partners were being tested for heart disease. They asked each participant to rate both their own and their partner's levels of anger, hostility, and argumentativeness- all strong predictors of the illness- and found that people's self-ratings were infinitely less accurate than those of their spouses. Another study asked more than 150 Navy officers and their subordinates to rate the officers' leadership style, and found that only the subordinates could accurately assess their bosses' performance and promotability.

Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here. *** Emotional Intelligence. Another "it" theory of the moment. The media's panacea of the week.

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