Remember always: As wrong as they are, as annoying as it is, it takes two for a real conflict to happen. As the stoics said, when we are offended, when we fight, we are complicit. We have chosen to engage. We have traded self-control for self-indulgence. We allowed our cool head to turn hot, even though we know hot heads rarely makes right decisions.Life... people... they're going to give you the opportunity. You can decline to accept it.

Throughout the negotiation, Thalhimer was insulted, condescended to, and bullied by a man who seemed particularly disgusted at the thought of doing business with a Jew. However, Thalhimer remained surprisingly quiet and calm throughout all the provocation he faced during the entire negotiation process.

Thalhimer's Remarkable Composure in Negotiation

It's the easiest thing in the world to respond to intemperance with intemperance. We have to remember: Someone else's lack of self - control is not a justification for abandoning our own. Nor is it a good look or a recipe for success and achievement.

Truth is, we will have to deal with people in our daily lives who may provoke us from time to time. But this doesn't mean we have to indulge ourselves and respond to such situations by losing our self-control because you have work to do. They want you to get upset. If you end up responding to every attack, then, as Lincoln said, you might as well admit defeat right now. You may never get any work done. You'll certainly never be happy. And they'll have won.

No Distractions, No Setbacks

The author explained how fighting against provocation in our daily lives is important to keep our minds calm and make decisions for our benefit. 
An example is given of Arthur Ashe's father, who worked as a driver for a wealthy Jewish man named William Thalhimer, visiting to buy a piece of land. Ashe's father witnessed firsthand the discrimination faced by Jews in the unreconstructed South in the 1950s.

Importance of Fighting Provocation

On their way back home, Ashe's father, while driving, couldn't resist asking Thalhimer how he could remain so calm despite constant provocation. Thalhimer replied, "I came here to purchase that piece of land, and I got that piece of land. It belongs to me now, not to him. That man can go on cursing me for as long as he wants, but it doesn't change the fact that I own that land." This is what Thalhimer wanted all along. Of course, Thalhimer wished to punch the man in the face, but that might not have ended the way Thalhimer had hoped.

Thalhimer's Tranquil Triumph in Land Purchase

After any provocation, with the distance offered by the passage of time, any rational person can appreciate the calmness and self-control shown by Thalhimer. It would be fantastic if all this with Thalhimer hadn't happened. If no one was ever subjected to slurs or discrimination, if there were no bullies, and everyone was kind to us, if no one was ever deprived, judged, or assaulted. But that is not life.

Sometimes It Helps To Be A Little Deaf.

There will always be people around us who will end up provoking us for no reason, just to get a response out of us, making us lose our self - control. Believe it or not this can greatly hamper our productivity and concentration we put in our daily tasks and learning how to handle ourself against provocation can help us becoming better versions of ourselves.

The instant New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestseller! In his New York Times bestselling book Courage is Calling, author Ryan Holiday made the Stoic case for a bold and brave life. In this much-anticipated second book of his Stoic Virtue series, Holiday celebrates the awesome power of self-discipline and those who have seized it. To master anything, one must first master themselves–one’s emotions, one’s thoughts, one’s actions. Eisenhower famously said that freedom is really the opportunity to practice self-discipline. Cicero called the virtue of temperance the polish of life. Without boundaries and restraint, we risk not only failing to meet our full potential and jeopardizing what we have achieved, but we ensure misery and shame. In a world of temptation and excess, this ancient idea is more urgent than ever. In Discipline is Destiny, Holiday draws on the stories of historical figures we can emulate as pillars of self-discipline, including Lou Gehrig, Queen Elizabeth II, boxer Floyd Patterson, Marcus Aurelius and writer Toni Morrison, as well as the cautionary tales of Napoleon, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Babe Ruth. Through these engaging examples, Holiday teaches readers the power of self-discipline and balance, and cautions against the perils of extravagance and hedonism. At the heart of Stoicism are four simple virtues: courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom. Everything else, the Stoics believed, flows from them. Discipline is Destiny will guide readers down the path to self-mastery, upon which all the other virtues depend. Discipline is predictive. You cannot succeed without it. And if you lose it, you cannot help but bring yourself failure and unhappiness.

productivity

Productivity

books

Books

humanresources

Human Resources

Ryan Holiday is media strategist for notorious clients like Tucker Max and Dov Charney. After dropping out of college at 19 to apprentice under the strategist Robert Greene, he went on to advise many bestselling authors and multi-platinum musicians. He is the Director of Marketing at American Apparel, where his work in advertising was internationally known. His strategies are used as case studies by Twitter, YouTube, and Google, and have been written about in AdAge, the New York Times, Gawker, and Fast Company. He is the author is *Trust Me, I'm Lying: Confessions of a Media Manipulator*, which is due out in July. He currently lives in New Orleans, with his rebellious puppy, Hanno.