Thinking about all those variables will keep your mouth shut. And somebody else will steal the scene. So speak now! Before it’s too late.Say something, even stupid, but at least it’s something.Polarize people and attract or reject them. You don’t have time for those who leave. Focus on who stays.Eventually, you will become so good everyone will come back to hear. You will know you have won when the laughter fills that emptiness around you.

How to Speak with Confidence

So, what’s the solution?Simple! Polarize people and only engage with those who stay. Don’t waste your time trying to convince them you are worth it. If they know, they know. Otherwise, they’ll come back later.When you polarize people, three things might happen:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">They agree with you and love your confidence.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They disagree with you but respect your confidence.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Or they ignore you.</li></ul>Focus on the first two categories.

1 – Polarize the crowd. (2)

You show no fear when you expose yourself. You show truthfulness and genuine interest. And you will attract people because of that.Anybody will want a positive buddy by their side. So, why don’t you become one of them?The world is pessimistic. Everyone complains about everything. But with positivity, you can be different. You can change lives and lighten up somebody else’s day.

4 – Use irony and (always) smile. (2)

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The first thing I learned about confidence is that people feel your fear and insecurities. And most of them will repel you for that.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The second thing I learned about confidence is that you must do interesting things to become fascinating to others.</li></ul>Nobody cares about what you did last night if it’s something trivial or you make it so. And speak openly about your passions and hobbies to make things look interesting. Speak without fear, without caring about what people might think of you.Some will find it helpful. Others will find it useless. But who cares?

The Two Truths About Confidence

I always banter and smile when I talk to people.Bantering and irony are two of the greatest skills you can learn to show confidence and build strong connections. When you use irony and dive into the game of bantering, you expose your vulnerabilities willingly.If you drown in your insecurities, it will be awful the first few times. But as you become more confident, you will notice how people perceive it as attractive.

4 – Use irony and (always) smile. (1)

Storytelling is the winning card of the most confident people. It is a way to connect with others that confidence alone cannot provide. But most people don’t learn it because it takes time and effort.You can <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/3-simple-rules-to-boost-your-storytelling">learn storytelling </a>by building your catalog of stories.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">First, collect everything in your life that might become a good story.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Then, f ind the grip for each story. Why would people listen to it? What’s funny about it? Or what did you learn from that experience? </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Now, it’s time to practice. You can start in front of the mirror. Or you can test it with your closest friends. </li></ul>

2 – Narrate your dressing routine. (1)

You can’t be friends with anyone – it doesn’t matter how hard you try. And the sooner you realize it, the faster you can channel your energies in the right direction.I learned about compatibility by being friends with anyone.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">I could talk for hours with some people and forget about our time together. It was effortless, and I could keep going for days.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">But with other people, it was frustrating. I had to say something to fill the gap between us. And I couldn’t enjoy it.</li></ul>

1 – Polarize the crowd. (1)

Storytelling is great for creating connections and showing confidence. But deep relationships require much more.I learned it when I built so many relationships I stopped counting them. But I realized I didn’t know much about those people. And if confidence is about speaking, connecting the souls is all about doing. When you want to become good friends (or more) with someone, you have to be propositive.Focus on doing things together – that’s when the deepest connections grow.

5 – Focus on doing, not saying.

For most of my life, I showcased my qualities by boasting. But people hate it when you do it.But do you know what they love?They love it when you showcase your qualities by helping them. Focus on what they’re saying and find a way to help people. Let them know you are a good listener and care about them. And they will naturally gravitate towards you.

3 – Showcase your qualities. (2)

I hated it when nobody asked about my life. I thought I had a lot to share and deserved good friends. But, it turns out, both things were false.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">I didn’t have anything interesting to share.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And nobody deserves anything – you have to work for it.</li></ul>I tried to decode attention and <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/the-future-of-leadership">leadership traits </a>for years. And I tried many things to achieve my ultimate goal – being at the center of attention.I didn’t even know if everything was necessary. I like to think it was. But there was one thing that changed things forever . I’m sure of it. And that is confidence – a trait I never thought I could achieve.

How to Become the Center of Attention

We are human beings – we crave attention. And we crave attention because we are human beings.Our mind never stops being aware of our surroundings. Who’s talking? What are they saying?Do they speak about me? Do they like me? I’ve been invisible to people for most of my life. I craved attention, but nobody wanted to give it to me. So, I did dumb things to have all eyes on me.

The Attention Craving

You are reading an excerpt from <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/">The Challenge</a>, a newsletter where I discuss self-improvement, goal-setting, habits, time management, and health tips and tricks.Every week, you will get the following:<ul><li>a challenge to pursue to improve your life</li><li>an infographic to track it.</li></ul><a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/subscribe">Subscribe now</a> to help me continue publishing this type of content.

The Challenge

Have you ever tried to convince someone to buy anything?Usually, there are two steps you use unconsciously:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">First, you create an emotional link with the potential buyers. You talk about their frustration or likes. And you listen to them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Then, you showcase the features of the product you are trying to sell.</li></ul>In this case, you are the product. And you already build a connection with storytelling. So, the only thing that’s missing is showcasing your qualities.

3 – Showcase your qualities. (1)

However, no matter the story you are telling, don’t lie. You can insist on a few things to prove your point. But don’t lie because someone might discover your bluff, and it’s hard to recover.Your goal is to become so good at it that you can storytelling even your dressing routine, and people might find it interesting.

2 – Narrate your dressing routine. (2)

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Before you Go

Confidence attracts people and allows you to find your tribe. But to do that, you must become confident first.1 – Polarize the crowd.2 – Storytell your dressing routine.3 – Showcase your qualities.4 – Use irony and smile.5 – Focus on doing, not saying.This week, you can start with these five steps. And I can guarantee you will notice the difference in a month.[DOWNLOAD THE FREE INFOGRAPHIC <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/unleash-your-inner-magnet">HERE</a>]

Want to draw in positive connections? Discover how to speak with confidence & attract the people who matter most!

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SARA AL MADANI