Identify what irritates people the most in others—because this trait is probably what they dislike most in themselves. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The flaw people hate most in others is usually their own greatest weakness.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Cheaters always gripe that others are dishonest. The liar always accuses other people of lying. Parents absolutely lose it when they see their children making the same mistakes they did.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">When we look in a mirror, we dislike seeing all the flaws in our appearance, and the same thing is true when we examine other people. They, too, are like mirrors. </li></ul>

See how they treat service workers﻿<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">People reveal their true natures when they deal with others who have no power and can never return a favor.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">They feel immune and free of all consequences—so they let it rip. Their true self comes to the forefront.</li></ul> This is one of the most reliable indicators of trustworthiness that you will find.

Great listeners possess extraordinary skills of awareness and comprehension. They can assess situations with tremendous accuracy, and act in ways that maximize group effectiveness.

How do they invest their two most valuable resources? The key to understanding a person's true priorities is by looking at their two most valuable resources:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">time</li><li class="ql-align-justify">money.</li></ol> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">These reveal what a person truly values, more than just their words. While some might prefer to read palms, a glimpse at a person's calendar and monthly budget can provide much more insight.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">How we spend our time and money shows what we truly prioritize. Pay attention to these two resources, and you will gain a deeper understanding of any person.</li></ul>

Forget what they say—instead look at who they marry. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">A person’s choice of a spouse—or if they aren’t married, their closest lifelong partner—is much more revealing than anything they say or do in public.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">This choice tells you about their own innermost longings, expectations, and needs. </li></ul> It tells you what they think of themselves, and what they think they deserve in life (or will settle for).

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Not all of us can stage a restaurant mishap to test somebody.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">But if you’re around somebody long enough you will see how they deal with unexpected problems.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">And those situations are precisely when their character and core values come to the forefront.</li></ul>

Watch how they handle unexpected problems. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">In the final round of interviews, executives test candidates by staging unexpected problems during a lunch meeting to see how they handle difficult situations.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Beyond the interview setting, pay attention to how people react to surprises in everyday life to gauge their character and values.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Spontaneous decision-making is a good indicator of ability to handle challenges. </li></ul> Some people rise to the occasion, and others lose their cool completely.

If they cheat at small things, they will cheat at big things. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Beware of the small things. They may lead to big consequences in business (or other ventures). Even a seemingly tiny thing, like breaking the rules in a game of golf, can be a red flag.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">For instance, if someone is willing to cheat in a game, what's stopping them from cheating in business deals (or relationships for that matter)?</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Take any warning seriously, no matter how small it may seem. Watch out for the small things, and the big things will take care of themselves.</li></ul>

Can they listen? When you encounter people in any kind of setting, from professional to social, they can choose to:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">talk,</li><li class="ql-align-justify">listen, or</li><li class="ql-align-justify">do neither.</li></ol> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">There’s often a bias against listening as part of someone’s skill set—that’s why you will never see it on a resume. </li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">I’m sure many of you believe it indicates passivity or laziness or some other character flaw.</li></ul> I think this reaction is a result of mistaking people who do (3) with those who do (2).

These aren’t just useful in evaluating other people. You can use these same techniques on yourself. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Do you treat service people fairly? </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Can you handle problems and inconveniences without overreacting? </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Are you trustworthy in small things?</li></ul> Perhaps the character you need to assess is your own. 😉

Final thoughts

Discover what experiences formed their character in early life <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">In an interview, a CEO focused solely on my (Authors) childhood and teenage years, stating that experiences in early life shape character and the ability to handle challenges.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">A person's character and ability to handle challenges are largely formed in the first two decades of their life, as explained by the CEO.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">This approach of looking at a person's past instead of solely focusing on their qualifications is uncommon but it proved to be effective in this case, highlighting the power of early experiences in shaping one's character.</li></ul>

we are far more likely to forgive a weakness we have never experienced than one we struggle with daily.

I wish somebody had told me these things when I was younger. I now practice them when I need to get a fast assessment of people I don’t know well.

These methods have helped me enormously—and can save you much heartache and anxiety

TED GIOIA

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