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The 100 Percent Rule That Makes Life a Lot Easier
Setting In Stone Future Behavior
When the commitment is 100 percent, your future behaviour is already set in stone, with no back-and-forth struggle and revisiting of the decision-making condition.
When your best friend offers you a Coke, you know very well that the decision to not have anything like that is already made, and it is easy to say no.
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Key Ideas
100 Percent Commitment
Clear-cut, zero-tolerance decisions and self-commitments are better than having to decide every time, or committing conditionally.
A 100 percent decision is better than a conditional decision, which can lead to decision fatigue and waste your limited willpower.
Loose Commitment And Decision Fatigue
If you are only 90 percent committed to your goal (like following a certain diet, for example) you have to ask yourself and test your commitment multiple times a day.
You end up unable to predict your behaviour, and any future outcomes. By having a loose commitment setting in your mind, you are bound to deal with decision fatigue and see yourself repeatedly fail, lowering your confidence.
Setting In Stone Future Behavior
When the commitment is 100 percent, your future behaviour is already set in stone, with no back-and-forth struggle and revisiting of the decision-making condition.
When your best friend offers you a Coke, you know very well that the decision to not have anything like that is already made, and it is easy to say no.
Expectancy Theory
It states that motivation requires simplicity and clarity.
Any complex flow chart or decision matrix decreases your chances of success. A clear outcome and resultant progress also improve your confidence.
Two Strategies For Decision Making
- Implementation Intentions: A pre-planned, pre-configured response, that is automatically coming when you are triggered or coaxed into doing something that you don’t want to.
- Future Self Concept: Asking your future self the same decision that is put on you, instead of answering it with your current self.
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When we're developing individual friendships, we’re setting up tacit, but dynamic rules for these relationships (with each conversation and shared experience we go through). This creates organic connections and sets the rule for the future - every future communication we have will be defined by the rules and the context set by our past communications.
When Happiness Is Related To Other People
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Being the knower
... or always being right is heavy armor. It translate into defensiveness and posturing. This is very common and most of us have some degree of knower in us.
Needing to know everything is ...
Why we hide behind the "knower" armor
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Knowing can also become a culture problem when only some people are valued as knowers.
Going from knower to curious learner
- Name the issue. And discuss it in a gentle way:"I’d like for you to work on your curiosity and critical thinking skills."
- Make learning “curiosity skills” a priority. Don’t assume people aren’t curious because they don’t care. They may not know how to be curious.
- Acknowledge and reward great questions and statements like “I don’t know, but I’d like to find out”.
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