Victim-minded people believe life happens to them, not for them. They stay stuck in their circumstances, constantly blaming their past or situations. Avoid them, as their mindset can drag you down with them.

The Victims

In the end, we realize the real home we are all searching for isn't out there—it’s inside us. It's the space we create within ourselves, where we invite others in without fear or pretenses. It is where we learn to love ourselves, even the broken parts, and find peace in being alone. When we do that, we see we’ve always belonged—not to someone else or some place, but to ourselves.

As a people pleaser, I had a problem saying no to anyone which ultimately means that I ended up putting everyone’s interest before mine. This made me miserable because it came at the cost of my happiness and well-being. So I had to learn how to say no to people. Initially, I made a lot of enemies but with time people who loved me understood and respected my boundaries.Here are 5 different ways to say no Sadly, I have something else going on.I have another commitment.I wish I were able to.I don't have the bandwidth for that right now.Thanks for thinking of me. However, I will not able to.

5)Learn to say No.

For a long time, self-love was a language that was so foreign to me that I could feel a giant language barrier. But with time I realized it had been built into me and all I had to do was return to it. So, there are Seven ways you can love yourself. I.e speak the language of self-love. And I am gonna teach you all those languages.

Flaky PeopleFlaky people are unreliable and only around for fun. They might seem like friends, but they’re inconsistent and will disappear without explanation. It’s okay to take breaks, but always communicate that with your friends and loved ones. Inconsistent people won’t provide the stability you need.Negative NancyNegative people are constantly unhappy, focusing on what’s wrong with the world, no matter the situation. Their negativity will eventually rub off on you, so it’s best to cut them off before you become cynical too.

Winning is my birth right.The dreams I hold close to my heart are not distant—they are my destiny calling me home.Each step I take is a whisper from the universe, guiding me toward my purpose

Create a morning routine that excites you and makes waking up a pleasure. This routine should focus on nurturing yourself before the world starts pulling you in all kinds of directions. A good morning routine can even prevent you from staying up too late due to unnecessary scrolling or binge-watching.For example, this could involve taking a peaceful walk in nature, like at a park, and doing some yoga.Here’s a great question to guide you:“How can I create peaceful mornings where I feel confident and self-assured about myself?”

a) Morning Routine

I used to believe I could only buy myself something valuable once I achieved a certain goal. I thought I didn’t deserve good clothes or accessories until I reached that milestone, which left me constantly postponing my happiness. I was programming myself to believe I wasn’t worthy of treating myself until I “earned” it.But now, I realize that I deserve to feel good right now, not in the future. Each item I buy is a reflection of my worth today, a reminder that I’m worthy of love, care, and happiness, no matter where I am in my journey. Buying something is about honoring who I am, right now.

6)Buy yourself Gifts

Here are 6 types of toxic people I’ve encountered, and I wish I had known about them sooner to protect my mental health:Schemers Schemers manipulate the world for their personal gain, using people as means to an end. They're subtle and passive, making it hard to catch them in the act. Never try to confront them or defeat them at their own game—cut them off completely. They won't change; it's their default behavior.

7)Avoid Toxic people

GossipmongersThese people thrive on talking about others behind their backs, finding pleasure in other people’s misery. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.” If you encounter someone like this often, it’s best to cut them out of your life.Energy VampiresEnergy vampires drain your energy, leaving you feeling exhausted and self-doubting. If you feel drained after spending time with someone, they're likely an energy vampire. If they don’t uplift or recharge you, cut them off without guilt—they won’t change.

Once a month, Take some time to write a love letter to yourself. Celebrate your little wins and write about all the things you have learned every month. Tell yourself how proud you are of the person you are becoming while you develop skills for the next phase of your life. Reflect and see what you’re trying to do here. Who you’re trying to become. Are you keeping your promises?Look at your month from a broader perspective and recognize all the little things you’ve accomplished that have added up to something meaningful. This letter is a reminder of your growth, your dedication, and your worth.

4)Write A Love Letter to Yourself

As we get older, we become so obsessed with making money that we start believing anything that can not be capitalized is a waste of time. In this pursuit, we often silence our inner child, which can lead to feelings of emptiness, depression, and, in worst cases, burnout.Ask Yourself:“What is the perfect way I can express my inner child freely, without any judgement from the adult I have become?”And You never know you might get this urge to indulge in your hobbies and start painting even though you might not be great at it. Listening to your inner child is one of the purest forms of self-love.

3)Love your Inner child

Your fitness routine should not only make you physically stronger but also mentally resilient. Discipline, after all, is one of the greatest expressions of self-love.Include regular workouts and meditation practices in your life. Block a specific part of your morning for these activities, so when distractions arise, you’ll clearly know what they’re pulling you away from.I know it can be hard to fit in both meditation and workouts, especially when you're busy, so try alternating between workout days and contemplative practices like meditation.

b) Fitness Routine

As someone who has suffered from chronic acne, I can confidently say that my skincare routine changed my life.It can be as simple as washing your face daily with a gentle cleanser, followed by a toner and moisturizer. I also use a body lotion to keep my skin healthy and hydrated.This routine has not only protected me from many skin problems but also boosted my confidence. Trust me, nothing can dent your self-esteem like a pimple—I’ve been there. So, please incorporate a skincare routine into your life. If you're suffering from severe acne then don't shy away from seeing a dermatologist.

d) Skincare Routine

In a world where we often seek validation and love from others, self-love is often mistaken as self-indulgence. People easily justify affection for others, but when asked to be affectionate towards themselves, they hesitate as if love can only be outsourced. If love emerges from within it can only be used to fill others' cups. How Dare I try to fill my own cup without feeling like a narcissist? No wonder people keep waiting for someone to rescue them.

Return to love

Learning to love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. And it starts with building yourself a routine.Now you might ask, "Utkarsh, why do we need a routine?" I’d say: because once you establish a routine, you create a set of actions that you no longer resist. Why? Because you’ve practiced them. Over time, they become second nature—you can do them on autopilot.It no longer feels like pushing a boulder up a hill because you’ve been doing it every day. Your brain adapts. You become what you consistently do, not what you did just once. You need to create four types of routines—routines.

1)Build yourself a Routine

Don’t underestimate the power of routines—they are the foundation of the optimal behaviors you want to instill in yourself.Imagine working out, meditating, sleeping well, and waking up early as if it were second nature. How healthy, grounded, and confident would you feel? Routines are the key to that transformation.

Build a customized bedtime routine to unplug, calm your nerves, slow down, and prepare for quality rest. The key is adopting good sleep hygiene:<ul><li>Sleep at the same time every night.</li><li>Avoid taking your phone to bed.</li><li>Stop watching any content after 10 PM.</li><li>Instead, read a book or listen to calming music before sleeping.</li></ul>I know many of you might resist the idea of not taking your phone to bed because of the possibility of urgent messages or calls. However, it significantly disrupts your sleep. Do these steps religiously every night, and your mind and body will thank you.

c) Bedtime Routine

Starting and Ending days with positive words of affirmation is always transformative. People tend to be too hard on themselves while they spend their whole day trying to berate themselves but when they’re called to appreciate their hard work, they find it extremely disingenuous. Doesn’t that speak for the toxic culture we have accepted? Words have power over your subconscious so you better start and end your day with the right ones.

2)Words of Affirmation

Try to create your own personal affirmations. Anyways, I will share all my favorite affirmations that worked for me like a charm.The strength I admire in others is already within me, waiting to be unleashed.I am living for love.I am creating a life I am proud of.Even on the days I feel broken, I am whole, and my spirit shines through the cracksI am thankful that I can allow my soul to shine unapologetically.Even when the path feels uncertain, I trust my instincts—they’ve never failed meI am worthy of all the good things that life has to over.I deserve wave after wave of love and happiness.<warningtag> </warningtag>

Affirmations

Do you know who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with? With yourself! 

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ERWIN MCMANUS

Quality Questions

7. Embracing discomfort