Writing down our memories

Writing down our memories

There is a difference between seeing - which is passive - and writing down something you have seen, something you have heard, something you have experienced. Writing it down captures the memory and acknowledges its existence.

Anne Frank (though her diary) is one of the best examples we have in history of someone bearing witness. She simply wrote down what was happening to her family, giving us a very intimate record of her family during one of the worst periods of our world's history.

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Communication

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  • Brainstorm and jot it down: Start with the prompt, "The time when..." List at least ten things.
  • Narrow it down and focus: Go back to your list of ten and pick three things that are really bothering you, and you feel strongly about. Take 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to write. Focus on the details, the order of events, and especially how they made you feel.
  • Pick one and tell your story: You don't have to write a memoir or be a creative writer. You can also write it from someone else's perspective. Writing it down is to say that this thing did happen.

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A Secret Weapon for Blooming

The good news is that self-doubt, odd as it may sound, is actually a secret weapon for blooming. When properly managed, it can help combat complacency and improve our preparation and performance. It drives us to question results, experiment with new strategies, and be open to alternate ways to solve problems — tactics that correlate with late bloomer strengths such as curiosity and resilience. But self-doubt isn’t only a performance enhancer; it’s also a recipe for being a wiser leader, teacher, parent and friend, because coming to terms with it makes us more compassionate and gives us greater insight into ourselves and others. The problem is that many people deal with self-doubt by sabotaging our chances of success.

To bloom, we must learn not to fear self-doubt but to embrace it as a naturally occurring opportunity for growth and improvement. The key to harnessing self-doubt starts at the very core of our individual beliefs about ourselves, with what psychologists call “self-efficacy.” And understanding self-efficacy begins with Albert Bandura.

We can improve self-efficacy through something we already do: Talk. We all talk ourselves through situations, good and bad. It’s our inner cheerleader — or our inner critic. Psychologists and researchers call this voice “self-talk.” Self-talk shapes our relationships with ourselves, allowing us to try to see things more objectively. Objectivity can be enormously beneficial for late bloomers, helping us overcome the negative cultural messages we receive from family, friends and society.

Self-doubt can actually help you bloom — and it all starts with how you talk to yourself

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  • Ads on TV tell us what we need to spend money on to become acceptable, successful or lovable.
  • Our educational system measures us using standard grades and test-scores, destroying our individuality.
  • Parents love our accomplishments and subtly want us to push ourselves towards greater success at the cost of our freedom of personal choice.
  • Social media has highly effective metrics to measure our worthiness, like the number of followers or likes.

When we fail to do what society wants us to do, we lose approval and experience unworthiness.

How to cultivate a sense of unconditional self-worth

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