Avoiding The Addiction To Quick Emotional Fixes - Deepstash

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The Problem with Coping Skills

Avoiding The Addiction To Quick Emotional Fixes

Coping skills or ‘band-aid’ quick-relief methods do have their place as they are effective in the ‘now’, something that most people seem to want.

What makes us feel instantly better now, more often than not is addictive and eventually makes us feel far worse in the future. Much like the car emergency brake, coping skills should be used sparingly.

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Grumpiness
Grumpiness

Grumpiness can be defined as a bad mood that tends to last from several hours to a few days.

What we can not really explain is why we are grumpy: there is usually no reason which we can blame this mood for.

What causes grumpiness

Grumpiness can be caused by many factors, among which:

  • An unfulfilled psychological need: one way to avoid this is by clearly expressing your needs and, eventually, taking some actions in order to accomplish them.
  • An unrealistic high expectation: make sure you check your expectations on a regular basis, so you can always have realistic and achievable ones.
  • The lack of self-compassion: if you have a negative attitude towards yourself, you are most likely going to feel at least grumpy.
Meta-grumpiness

Meta-grumpiness can be explained as the fact of being grumpy because you are grumpy.

Once you have noticed that you are feeling grumpy, this makes you feel even more grumpy, as you tend to become critical of yourself being grumpy.

Emotional Regulation

It means having the skills to control your behavior, emotions and thoughts in the pursuit of long-term goals.

Emotional regulation skills enable us to live a healthy and well-balanced life, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Applying The Power Of Choice

You have to recognize that you have the choice in how you react to situations.

This will empower you to work with the challenges that you face in your life: you'll have clarity, focus and a purpose.

The STOPP Technique

... to control your emotions:

  • S – Stop
  • T – Take A Breath
  • O – Observe – your thoughts and feelings
  • P- Pull Back – put in some perspective – what is the bigger picture?
  • P – Practice What Works – Proceed – what is the best thing to do right now?