Understanding someone requires paying attention to non-verbal cues, tone, and context to grasp their true emotions. 	“The words are often just the surface; the meaning lies beneath.”

Sharing your own struggles and experiences encourages others to open up, creating deeper connections. 	“Vulnerability invites vulnerability.”

Avoid reducing people to labels or roles. Brooks urges readers to appreciate the full complexity of each individual. 	“Every person is a world waiting to be discovered.”

Distractions erode relationships. Give people your full attention to truly see and understand them. 	“Presence is the greatest gift you can offer someone.”

Put yourself in others’ shoes to see the world from their perspective. Empathy bridges divides and fosters understanding. 	“To know someone, you must first feel with them

People are shaped by their unique paths. Acknowledge their growth and story to truly appreciate who they are. 	“To know a person is to know their story.”

Being genuinely curious about people’s experiences opens doors to meaningful connections. Asking thoughtful questions is a crucial skill. 	“Curiosity leads to understanding; assumptions lead to distance.”

Authentic relationships require consistent efforts to build trust over time, through honesty, reliability, and vulnerability. 	“Trust is earned, not assumed.”

Commonalities unite us more than differences divide. Brooks highlights shared values and experiences as a foundation for connection. 	“We’re all more alike than we realize.”

Listening is more than hearing; it’s about understanding emotions and intentions. Brooks emphasizes the importance of active, empathetic listening as a way to truly connect. 	“Listening well is an act of generosity.”

Discover the art of building deeper connections with empathy, curiosity, and genuine understanding.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.” And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to? Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception. The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.

BUILD TRUST GRADUALLY

Similar ideas

Being vulnerable increases resilience

Understand: Every Aspect of Life Involves Sowing and Harvesting

5 Rules for Leaders to create a Circle of Safety