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Nothing to (Im)prove
Self-improvement through meditation is not the objective
When we begin to meditate or to engage with any type of spiritual practice, we often think that in some way we’re going to improve, which is a subtle aggression against who we really are.
It’s kind of like saying, “If I jog, I’ll be a much better person.” Or the scenario may be that we find fault with others. We might say, “If it weren’t for my partner, I’d have a perfect marriage.” And, “If it weren’t for my mind, my meditation would be excellent.”
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But lovingkindness— maitri (Pali, metta )—toward ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy, we can still be angry. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That’s what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.
Meditation is befriending ourselves
Lovingkindness— maitri (a popular form of Buddhist meditation) toward ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything. Maitri is about befriending who we are already. It means that we can still be crazy, we can still be angry.
The ground of practice for meditation is whoever we are right now, just as we are. That’s what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.
Sitting meditation as a vehicle
Sitting meditation gives us a way to move closer to our thoughts and emotions and to get in touch with our bodies.
It is a method of cultivating unconditional friendliness toward ourselves and for parting the curtain of indifference that distances us from the suffering of others. It is our vehicle for learning to be a truly loving person.
Meditation is simply being uncluttered
Through meditation, we start to be aware of the gaps in our internal dialogue. In the midst of constantly talking to ourselves, we experience a pause, as if awakening from a dream.
We acknowledge our capacity to relax with the clarity, the space, and the awareness that already exists in our minds. We experience moments of being right in the "here and now" that feel simple, direct, and uncluttered.
6 points for sitting meditation
- Seat: The seat should be flat (whether you’re sitting on a cushion on the floor or in a chair), not tilting to the right or left, or to the back or front.
- Legs : The legs should be crossed comfortably in front of you or flat on the floor, with the knees a few inches apart (if you’re sitting in a chair).
- Torso : Keep your torso (from the head to the seat) upright, with a strong back and an open front. If sitting in a chair, it’s best not to lean back.
- Hands : Keep your hands open, with palms down, resting on the thighs.
- Eyes : Keep your eyes open, indicating the attitude of remaining awake and relaxed with all that occurs. The eye gaze should be somewhat downward, directed about 4 to 6 feet in front of you.
- Mouth : The mouth should be very slightly open so that the jaw is relaxed and air can move easily through the mouth and nose; the tip of the tongue can be placed on the roof of the mouth.
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What Meditation Is
Meditation is being attentive to the fluctuations of your mind.
Most of the time, we completely identify with our own thoughts, meaning there is no separa...
Designate a Time
Make sure you pick a time when you can consistently devote yourself to this practice. It doesn't have to be lengthy. Ten or fifteen minutes is a good place to start.
Create the Space
It should be away from household distractions. A corner of your bedroom or living room is perfect.
You'll also need a timer that will sound at the end of your meditation session so that you're not constantly checking the clock to see how much time is left.
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What mindfulness is
Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
What meditation is
Meditation is exploring. When we meditate we venture into the workings of our minds: sensations, emotions and thoughts.
Mindfulness meditation asks us to suspend judgment and unleash our natural curiosity about the workings of the mind, approaching our experience with warmth and kindness, to ourselves and others.
Jon Kabat-Zinn
“Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally. And then I sometimes add, in the service of self-understanding and wisdom.”
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