Focus on becoming likeable
Studies reveal that likeable people are granted privileges that become self-perpetuating. Those who are liked are invited to join others more often, and in turn, offered extra opportunities to learn skills. These skills lead to even greater likability and more learning occasions.
Once people realize that status is linked with negative outcomes, it will be easier to return to a focus on likability.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
- In childhood, our popularity is defined by how much others like us. The most popular kids help others, cooperate and lead quietly. This type of popularity predicts desirable long-term outcomes.
- The second type of popularity emerges in our adolescence and reflects our "status" more than our "likability." The markers are visibility, influence, dominance, and power.
Throughout adulthood, we can pursue greater likability or greater status. This decision is complicated by the growing number of platforms (TV, social media) designed to help us gain status.
Research finds that unlike the positive outcomes associated with high likability, those who care more about their status grow up to have difficulties with their interpersonal relationships later on.
Our life goals now reflect a desire to own more stuff, get more power, and feel more visible and influential. It is very different from our desire to foster community and cooperation a few decades ago.
Our children also feel that the number of their social media followers is a worthy accomplishment. But the more we seek these online markers of status, the more we feel disconnected.
RELATED IDEAS
- Humor has many practical uses, like diffusing a difficult situation, masking oneâs nervousness, coping with failure and softening the criticism doled out to someone.Â
- Humor works well in social situations and helps people who are starting any relationship to build a bond.
- Funny people are perceived as attractive, smart and personable.
We need a scientific theory of consciousness that can predict under which conditions any particular physical system has experiences. Any speculation about machine consciousness is based solely on our intuition, which is not a reliable scientific guide.
Two of the most popular theories of consciousness is the global neuronal workspace (GNW), and the Integrated information theory (IIT).
We have all encountered failure, be it failing a final exam, or a job interview. We're told that overcoming difficult obstacles will make a future success much sweeter.
But new research shows that initial failure can lead people to underestimate how good it would feel to succeed.