It is natural to feel afraid
The emotion we feel when we see a fire is the same feeling we have when we need to have a difficult conversation - it keeps us safe.
We will never stop being scared in this world. Fear doesn't make you weak. But if we give fear power in our lives, it can stop us from doing what we're supposed to do, say what we're supposed to say, and be who we're supposed to be.
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Fears can keep us safe throughout our lives. We lock our doors at night and check for ticks after a hike. But fears can also hold us back - especially at work. We may wonder which valuable ideas got left behind because we couldn't find the courage to speak up.
There is nothing wrong with being afraid, but fear should not rule us.
We can create monsters of our fears in our heads.
- We have to stop giving fear power. We do that by saying, "I'm afraid, but I'm going to do it anyway."
- Saying your fears out loud or writing them down helps - you see how small the fear really is.
- We can decide always to do the thing we feel compelled to do, even if we feel scared about it.
When you have to do something difficult, ask yourself these questions to determine if you're impulsive or need to speak up.
- Do I really mean it, or do I just want to hear my own voice?
- Can I defend it if I'm challenged on it?
- Can I say it thoughtfully?
Being an authentic person means having specific opinions and values, and people who have different values will not like what you say or do.
To overcome the fear of being your authentic self:
- Show that excellence is not tied to external packaging.
- Bring yourself to work, then be excellent.
- Show that your work is going to bring value, even with blue hair or braids.
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Fear-setting is a tool to help us overcome the fear of making difficult decisions.
Fear setting is an operating system for thriving in high-stress environments. It is a way to make a checklist of all the bad things that could happen, so you become less afraid of taking action.
- Consider the pros and cons of not facing your fear.Ā
- Write those down.Ā
- Identify the pros and cons of tackling your fears head-on.Ā
- Write down what you might achieve or how your life might be different.
The best way to conquer a fear is to face your fears head-on in a healthy manner that helps you move past the fear rather than in a way that traumatizes you.
"Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it."