When were trying to persuade people, we frequently take an adversarial approach. Instead of opening their minds, we effectively shut them down or rile them up.
They play a defense by putting up a shield, play offense by preaching their perspectives and prosecuting ours, or play politics by telling us what we want to hear without changing what they actually think.
I want too explore a collaborative approach in which we show more humility and curiosity and invite others to think like scientists.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE BOOK
When we try to convince people to start to think again, our first instinct is to usually to start talking.
Yet the most effective way to help others open their minds is often to listen.
Motivational interviewing starts with an attitude of humility and curiosity.
We don't know what mint motivate someone else to change, but we're eager to find out.
The goal isn't to tell people what to do; it's to help them break out of overconfidence cycles and see new possibilities.
Out role is to hold up a mirror so they can see themselves more clearly and empower them to examine their beliefs and behaviours.
Listening is more than a matter of talking less. It's a set of skills in asking and responding.
It starts with showing more interest in other people's interests rather than trying to judge their status or prove our own...
We can all get better at asking truly curious questions that don't have a hidden agenda of fixing, saving, advising, convincing or correcting.
If you have too many arguments, you'll dilute the power of each and every one.
They are going to be less explained and i don't know if any of them will land enough.
The audience will not believe them important enough.
Most top debaters aren't citing information.
It's more like a dance that hasn't been choreographed, negotiated with a partner who has a different set of steps in mind.
I'd you try too hard to lead, your partner will resist. If your adapt your moves to hers, and get her to do the same, you're more likely to end up in rythm.
When we ask our debate partners genuine questions, we leave them intrigued to learn more.
We just need to open their minds to the possibility that they might be wrong.
Their natural curiosity will do the rest.
Grit- ask on how determined a person in pursuing his dreams.
Rigor- ask if there was a time he considered a data to make a decision.
Impact- ask for what he have contributed to any organization and his inspiration.
Teamwork- ask of his experiences on working with other people.
Ownership- ask for a time when he experienced "injustice".
Curiosity- Ask them something they have learned recently.
Polish- observe on how they keep confidently calm and humble.
Researchers identified six predictable levels of critical thinkers:
Using your mind more effectively is not automatic. Moving up on this pyramid of thinking is dependent on developing your critical thinking skills.
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