Convincing others to rethink - Deepstash

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Convincing others to rethink

When were trying to persuade people, we frequently take an adversarial approach. Instead of opening their minds, we effectively shut them down or rile them up.

They play a defense by putting up a shield, play offense by preaching their perspectives and prosecuting ours, or play politics by telling us what we want to hear without changing what they actually think.

I want too explore a collaborative approach in which we show more humility and curiosity and invite others to think like scientists.

How listening works

Listening is more than a matter of talking less. It's a set of skills in asking and responding.

It starts with showing more interest in other people's interests rather than trying to judge their status or prove our own...

We can all get better at asking truly curious questions that don't have a hidden agenda of fixing, saving, advising, convincing or correcting.

Motivating through interviewing

Motivational interviewing starts with an attitude of humility and curiosity.

We don't know what mint motivate someone else to change, but we're eager to find out.

The goal isn't to tell people what to do; it's to help them break out of overconfidence cycles and see new possibilities.

Out role is to hold up a mirror so they can see themselves more clearly and empower them to examine their beliefs and behaviours.

Ask questions

When we ask our debate partners genuine questions, we leave them intrigued to learn more.

We just need to open their minds to the possibility that they might be wrong.

Their natural curiosity will do the rest.

Talking or listening?

When we try to convince people to start to think again, our first instinct is to usually to start talking.

Yet the most effective way to help others open their minds is often to listen.

A good debate is not a war

It's more like a dance that hasn't been choreographed, negotiated with a partner who has a different set of steps in mind.

I'd you try too hard to lead, your partner will resist. If your adapt your moves to hers, and get her to do the same, you're more likely to end up in rythm.

Too many arguments

If you have too many arguments, you'll dilute the power of each and every one.

They are going to be less explained and i don't know if any of them will land enough.

The audience will not believe them important enough.

Most top debaters aren't citing information.

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This special book examines the critical art of rethinking: learning to question your opinions and open other people’s minds, which can position you for excellence at work and wisdom in life. Awesome read!

I am not a fan of audio books in general. Think Again by Adam Grant is an exception because I think it has been narrated well by the author himself. I listened the Audible audio book for a few minutes everyday. It captured my attention till the end.