When were trying to persuade people, we frequently take an adversarial approach. Instead of opening their minds, we effectively shut them down or rile them up. They play a defense by putting up a shield, play offense by preaching their perspectives and prosecuting ours, or play politics by telling us what we want to hear without changing what they actually think. I want too explore a collaborative approach in which we show more humility and curiosity and invite others to think like scientists.

Convincing others to rethink

It's more like a dance that hasn't been choreographed, negotiated with a partner who has a different set of steps in mind. I'd you try too hard to lead, your partner will resist. If your adapt your moves to hers, and get her to do the same, you're more likely to end up in rythm.

A good debate is not a war

If you have too many arguments, you'll dilute the power of each and every one. They are going to be less explained and i don't know if any of them will land enough. The audience will not believe them important enough. Most top debaters aren't citing information.

Too many arguments

When we ask our debate partners genuine questions, we leave them intrigued to learn more.We just need to open their minds to the possibility that they might be wrong.Their natural curiosity will do the rest.

Ask questions

Motivational interviewing starts with an attitude of humility and curiosity. We don't know what mint motivate someone else to change, but we're eager to find out. The goal isn't to tell people what to do; it's to help them break out of overconfidence cycles and see new possibilities. Out role is to hold up a mirror so they can see themselves more clearly and empower them to examine their beliefs and behaviours.

Motivating through interviewing

When we try to convince people to start to think again, our first instinct is to usually to start talking. Yet the most effective way to help others open their minds is often to listen.

Talking or listening?

Listening is more than a matter of talking less. It's a set of skills in asking and responding.It starts with showing more interest in other people's interests rather than trying to judge their status or prove our own... We can all get better at asking truly curious questions that don't have a hidden agenda of fixing, saving, advising, convincing or correcting.

How listening works

"The bestselling author of Give and Take and Originals examines the critical art of rethinking: learning to question your beliefs and to know what you don't know, which can position you for success at work and happiness at home. The difficulty of rethinking our assumptions is surprisingly common--maybe even fundamentally human ... The new science of intellectual humility shows that as a mindset and a skillset, rethinking can be taught, and Grant explains how to develop the necessary qualities. The first section of the book explores why we struggle to think again and how we can improve individually, and argues that such engines of success as 'grit' can actually be counterproductive; the second section discusses how we can help others think again through the skill of 'argument literacy'; and the third looks at how institutions like schools, business, and governments fall short in building cultures that encourage rethinking. In the end, it's intellectual humility that makes it possible for us to stop denying our weaknesses so that we can start improving ourselves"--

Think Again

Raoul Crisan