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Self Improvement

79 STASHED IDEAS

Psychopathic Traits

More and more psychologists are realizing that people can score highly on one or more psychopathic personality traits without having criminal or violent tendencies, such as:

  • Self-centered impulsivity (how selfish you are)
  • Cold heartedness (who switched off you are from other people's suffering)
  • Fearless dominance (being less susceptible to fear, stress, and anxiety)
Ira Varma (@iravarma1) - Profile Photo

@iravarma1

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Self Improvement

Successful Psychopaths

Fearless dominance (being less susceptible to fear, stress, or anxiety) is incredibly useful in certain lines of work from surgeons, special forces, elite sports, or political leadership.

Psychologists call these successful psychopaths.

Men tend to score higher than women on psychopathic traits (self-centered impulsivity, cold-heartedness, and fearless dominance).

In addition to this, people who are in managerial positions also score higher in general along with those who hold far-right beliefs or racist views.

Your strange voice on a recording

Many people feel uncomfortable when they hear their own voice in audio recordings.

Your voice sounds deeper and richer when you speak but thinner and higher on recordings. The reason for the variance is this:

  • When listening to a recording of your voice, the sound travels through the air and into your ears.
  • When you speak, some sound travels through the air, but much of the sound is internally conducted through your skull bones and boosts the lower frequencies.

Your voice on a recording really is a new voice. Because your voice is an integral part of self-identity, the mismatch between the voice you know and the voice you hear can be disturbing. You realise other people know your voice as something else.

Researchers found that patients with voice problems tended to rate the quality of their recorded voice more negatively than clinicians. If your inner self is criticising your voice on a recording device, you're probably judging yourself too harshly.

We naturally seek validation from external sources like friends, family and social media (number of likes), but fail to realize that true happiness comes from within us, and real freedom is when we focus on ourselves, not others.

If we only strive for external validation we are simply giving control of our happiness to others. Antidote: Look yourself in the mirror daily and say ‘I Love You’.

Instead of constantly comparing ourselves with others(a surefire recipe for a miserable life) we need to compare ourselves with the person we were before, like a year or five years ago. We need to grow, evolve, blossom and make ourselves better and wiser in every sphere of life.

Everybody is running their own marathon. Train hard and only compete with yourself.

Most people live and become their job roles. We simply don’t understand that we are more than just our work, and wake up in the morning as employees, not human beings on this beautiful planet.

When we are done with our lives, we will regret that we were only working the whole time and didn’t live our precious life. We would give everything we have to live just one more day with the people we love.

Relationships and connections are a bigger source of happiness than status.

Real Success Is Individual

We understand success as something relative to others and not something by itself. Status, power, wealth and position is by default a relative rank to the rest of the contenders of society. This constant comparison is designed for unending misery for all rank holders, from the first to the last.

Real success is individual, and true happiness comes from identifying and cultivating your own inner strength and contentment.

We need to balance our life with activities and relationships that nurture our mind and body while being beneficial to others. We can cultivate our inner resources in a way that allows us to impact others with kindness and caring.

Small things like a warm smile, kindness in one’s voice and a spring in your step is a beautiful way to touch others, rather than appearing irritated or foul. We all need to rekindle our own balance and increase the resources we have to offer to others while enjoying our time on this planet.

It is fortunate to be part of the solution to the world’s problems, making a positive contribution, and doing good things that help others. However, if we don’t strike a balance and keep our life enjoyment at bay, there will be a point of burnout where we will experience compassion fatigue.

Taking a walk in the park, a bike ride, exercise, painting, meditation and yoga can recharge our batteries and boost our happiness.

The Main Drive In Life

Psychiatrist Victor Frankl, whose classic book Man’s Search For Meaning promotes better mental and emotional health by discovering meaning in our lives, provided us with a dilemma: To savour the world or to enjoy it.

The main drive of life, according to many philosophers, is to find meaning in all the suffering we all inevitably go through. Troubling, bleak and disturbing news can be a source of anxiety or a call to action, depending on a person’s mindset.

Purpose: A Journey To Experience

Everyone's purpose is different and where they stem from holds variety. We have no "one true purpose" but we are in charge of what it may be.

In spite of the truth it holds, purpose is something we can cultivate through conscious action and reflection, and it easily wax and wane throughout our lives.

  • As teens, we were often told to find our purpose in lives so that when we grow up to become adults, we'll be able to see ourselves grow with composure and grace.
  • We start to find our purpose during the times when we explore ourselves and understand what it is that we could be fighting for.
  • In order to understand what our purpose is, we have to have a strong sense of self by knowing our capabilities, skills, and interests so that we can align it while pursuing our purpose.
John Leland

"Purpose is a practice. It is something continuously created, not sought for".

  • Many people who are in their mid-ages that still haven't found their purpose in life felt adrift. Only 30% of the people in this age group felt like they had a purpose.
  • Purpose for the middle-aged is like purpose for teens: to still draw in new skills, knowledge, and values that they've cultivated in their life time to start a new chapter.
  • Starting a new chapter in life is not always the sought out option, but it is what we should opt for since we already have the building blocks we needed.
  • As adults, we're expected to have our lives figured out and become well-put-together people. We often find our calling in our 20s and 30s but not everyone does.
  • Thus we look for a purpose towards building our career or a family. While young adults may see it as an adventure worth taking, many adults feel the urgency to get their lives together.
  • But despite the struggles we face, the ones who find a sense of direction do tend to end up having happier, healthier, and longer lives.

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