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Self Improvement

86 SAVED IDEAS

Timing is everything

Often we have everything in our life planned out, but rarely does it ever go in the direction you'd want it to go. We are never going to get everything we want at the time we want it to happen and that's okay.

Life takes us somewhere we would never anticipate but timing is everything. When we are patient, humble, and dedicated, we can attain success through and through.

@connortheone

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Self Improvement

Just live and flourish

You do not need to prove anything to anyone. Other people will always have something to say about you but you shouldn't let this affect your confidence. Only you know who you are and what you're capable of.

Peace comes when you realize that your happiness is created by you, and remember that a truly happy person will never show it off because humility builds character and it allows one to grow and prosper without stressing about what others think.

Understand yourself through discipline

We must show ourselves compassion and understand that we all have lived life differently.

With how far we've come in our journey, have you ever taken a moment to step back and reflect on how you felt about yourself? It's easy to overlook the importance of understanding ourselves and then compare ourselves to other people and what they've achieved at their age, but this only leads to unhappiness and discontentment.

Do not participate in negativity

We were taught at a young age to not say anything unkind to anyone, but as we grow older and delve deeper into the digital and idealistic age where there is an abundance of platforms to speak on, we speak on things where kindness does not follow.

It is important to keep in mind that not everything needs to be said - negativity, hate, and hurtful critiques; this does not include speaking against government and racism, but more on actively looking for gossip. We must keep good company instead.

Difficulties breed lessons, morals, and wisdom

It is inevitable for us not to experience anything in a negative light, and as such, how we respond to these situations determines the outcome of the situation, affecting your mental, emotional, and physical state.

What we choose further only solidifies our morals and values, resulting in who we will grow as individuals in the future. Learn how to treat everything as something you can learn from and you will learn the art of living a balanced and undisturbed life.

A new job as a catalyst for reflection

As you step into a new job, reflect on your last job.

  • What worked well?
  • How can you build on your strengths?
  • What specific actions will you take to put what you learned into action?

The first day of a new job is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. To ensure expressing yourself clearly, write an elevator pitch for yourself.

Meet with mentors for tips, write the pitch, and practice saying it out loud.

  • Learn more about the company and coworkers. Research your new company's social media profiles.
  • Keep track of your onboarding materials and pre-work. There can be many emails with forms to fill and information to pre-read. Forward important emails to your account so each one can become its own task.
  • Start living your new life now. To get comfortable with a new schedule, practice your new routine before your start date.
  • Keep track of assignments and prioritise tasks.
  • Communicate your early wins with your new team.
  • Schedule breaks throughout the day, so you don't get overwhelmed with the new workload.
Rituals: Our Symbolic Behaviours

Before, during or after an important event, we often perform symbolic behaviours, or rituals, that are of different shapes and forms. These acts often look superstitious and irrational. Many are practised in either a communal setting or in complete solitude.

The desired outcomes for these rituals can be to remove anxiety, boost confidence, or for improved performance in a competition. The surprising thing is that rituals are more rational and scientific than they appear on the surface, and are also effective.

Certain formulaic rituals, called Simpatias, involve a number of steps and repetition to solve problems like curing asthma, quitting smoking or minimizing bad luck.

Performing a step-by-step ritual with the clear intention to produce a specific result is often sufficient for the result to appear, even though there is no direct causal connection between the two, making the ancient phenomenon of rituals an intriguing one.

Anti-goals

Anti-goals represent a palpable set of values and actions that we don’t want to have and do. For example:

  • Not wanting to be buried in debt or living above my means
  • Not wanting to be stuck in the office until midnight
  • Not wanting to be unfit or over a certain weight by 50.
  • Anti-goals stem from the concept of inversion or ‘premeditatio malorum’ used by the stoics.
  • Premeditatio malorum was used to envision worst case scenarios: anticipating situations of complete failure helps us to prepare mentally and also to see what we can do to avoid failure.
  • Anti-goals give us a benchmark of failure to avoid and allow us to anticipate ourselves at our worst.

Sometimes it's easier to think about what we want to avoid than to consider what we want and that is why some anti-Goals will come quickly to the top of your mind e.g. “I don’t want to be living paycheck to paycheck”.

Just like goals, anti-goals need to be maintained and revisited as we grow. Therefore we have to make sure that they develop with us and help inform our knowledge of where we are and how we grow.

  • They shouldn’t remain stagnant.
  • Don’t let your anti-goals to make you complacent.
  • Don’t let your anti-goals consume you. They should work with your goals to help keep you accountable and propel you forward.
Charlie Munger
“A lot of success in life and business comes from knowing what you want to avoid: early death, a bad marriage, etc.”
Habits are mental shortcuts

A habit is a routine or behavior that is carried out repeatedly and most of the time automatically.

When you are faced with a problem repeatedly, your brain starts to automate the process of solving it. Your habits are sets of automatic solutions that solve the problems you come across regularly.

Goals are good for establishing a direction, but systems are best for making progress.

Goals are about the results you hope to reach. Systems are about the mechanisms that lead to those results.

  1. Changing your outcomes. This means changing your results: losing weight, publishing a book, etc.
  2. Changing your process. This means changing your habits and systems: for example, developing a meditation practice.
  3. Changing your identity. This means changing your beliefs: the way you see yourself and the ones around you.

You could choose and start a habit because of motivation, but you'll stick with it only if it becomes part of your identity.

To change your identity:

  1. Establish the kind of person you want to be.
  2. Prove it to yourself with small wins.
How habits work

The main components of habit formation:

  • A Cue: It causes your brain to begin a behavior. It is a bit of information that predicts a reward.
  • A Craving: It is the motivation behind every habit. Without a desire, we don't have a reason to act.
  • A Response: This is the very habit you perform; it can take the form of a thought or an action.
  • A Reward: The end goal of every habit.
  • Make them evident.
  • Make them attractive.
  • Make them effortless.
  • Make them satisfying.
  • Make them invisible.
  • Make them unappealing.
  • Make them hard to perform.
  • Make them frustrating.

A better method is to cut bad habits off at the source.

You may be able to resist temptation once, but you will most likely not be able to have the willpower to control your desires each time they appear. Thus, your energy would be better spent optimizing your environment.

We imitate the habits of three groups:

  • The close. Proximity has a powerful and impressive effect on the way we behave.
  • The many. We feel the pressure to comply with the rules of the groups we're part of. Being accepted is the greatest reward.
  • The powerful. We are attracted to behaviors that we think will make people respect and admire us.

Create a motivation ritual by doing something you really like right before a difficult habit.

Habits are attractive when we associate them with positive feelings and unattractive when we associate them with negative feelings.

The amount of time you have been performing a habit is not as important as the number of times you have performed it.

You could do something three times in thirty days, or three hundred times. The frequency will always make the difference.

We will instinctively choose the path that requires the least amount of work.

Diminish the friction associated with positive actions. When friction is reduced, habits become easy. Increase the friction associated with negative behaviors. This way, habits become hard.

What is instantly rewarded is done again. What is instantly punished is ditched.

To get a habit to stick you need to feel instantly successful, even if it’s in a small way.

We experience peak motivation when we are performing actions that are right on the edge our current abilities.

Not too difficult, not too easy.

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