Often we have everything in our life planned out, but rarely does it ever go in the direction you'd want it to go. We are never going to get everything we want at the time we want it to happen and that's okay.
Life takes us somewhere we would never anticipate but timing is everything. When we are patient, humble, and dedicated, we can attain success through and through.
You do not need to prove anything to anyone. Other people will always have something to say about you but you shouldn't let this affect your confidence. Only you know who you are and what you're capable of.
Peace comes when you realize that your happiness is created by you, and remember that a truly happy person will never show it off because humility builds character and it allows one to grow and prosper without stressing about what others think.
We must show ourselves compassion and understand that we all have lived life differently.
With how far we've come in our journey, have you ever taken a moment to step back and reflect on how you felt about yourself? It's easy to overlook the importance of understanding ourselves and then compare ourselves to other people and what they've achieved at their age, but this only leads to unhappiness and discontentment.
We were taught at a young age to not say anything unkind to anyone, but as we grow older and delve deeper into the digital and idealistic age where there is an abundance of platforms to speak on, we speak on things where kindness does not follow.
It is important to keep in mind that not everything needs to be said - negativity, hate, and hurtful critiques; this does not include speaking against government and racism, but more on actively looking for gossip. We must keep good company instead.
It is inevitable for us not to experience anything in a negative light, and as such, how we respond to these situations determines the outcome of the situation, affecting your mental, emotional, and physical state.
What we choose further only solidifies our morals and values, resulting in who we will grow as individuals in the future. Learn how to treat everything as something you can learn from and you will learn the art of living a balanced and undisturbed life.
A habit is a routine or behavior that is carried out repeatedly and most of the time automatically.
When you are faced with a problem repeatedly, your brain starts to automate the process of solving it. Your habits are sets of automatic solutions that solve the problems you come across regularly.
Goals are good for establishing a direction, but systems are best for making progress.
Goals are about the results you hope to reach. Systems are about the mechanisms that lead to those results.
You could choose and start a habit because of motivation, but you'll stick with it only if it becomes part of your identity.
To change your identity:
The main components of habit formation:
A better method is to cut bad habits off at the source.
You may be able to resist temptation once, but you will most likely not be able to have the willpower to control your desires each time they appear. Thus, your energy would be better spent optimizing your environment.
We imitate the habits of three groups:
Create a motivation ritual by doing something you really like right before a difficult habit.
Habits are attractive when we associate them with positive feelings and unattractive when we associate them with negative feelings.
The amount of time you have been performing a habit is not as important as the number of times you have performed it.
You could do something three times in thirty days, or three hundred times. The frequency will always make the difference.
We will instinctively choose the path that requires the least amount of work.
Diminish the friction associated with positive actions. When friction is reduced, habits become easy. Increase the friction associated with negative behaviors. This way, habits become hard.
What is instantly rewarded is done again. What is instantly punished is ditched.
To get a habit to stick you need to feel instantly successful, even if it’s in a small way.
We experience peak motivation when we are performing actions that are right on the edge our current abilities.
Not too difficult, not too easy.
As you step into a new job, reflect on your last job.
The first day of a new job is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. To ensure expressing yourself clearly, write an elevator pitch for yourself.
Meet with mentors for tips, write the pitch, and practice saying it out loud.
Before, during or after an important event, we often perform symbolic behaviours, or rituals, that are of different shapes and forms. These acts often look superstitious and irrational. Many are practised in either a communal setting or in complete solitude.
The desired outcomes for these rituals can be to remove anxiety, boost confidence, or for improved performance in a competition. The surprising thing is that rituals are more rational and scientific than they appear on the surface, and are also effective.
Certain formulaic rituals, called Simpatias, involve a number of steps and repetition to solve problems like curing asthma, quitting smoking or minimizing bad luck.
Performing a step-by-step ritual with the clear intention to produce a specific result is often sufficient for the result to appear, even though there is no direct causal connection between the two, making the ancient phenomenon of rituals an intriguing one.
Listen to your thoughts — but don’t necessarily believe them.
They're suggestions, possibilities. But they’re not gospel. You can’t control what thoughts pop up, but you can decide what is helpful and choose not to give the unhelpful thoughts any more attention than they deserve.
Doing little positive things is better for happiness than occasionally bagging an elephant:
If you want to keep your brain happy, be clear on who your support network is. Know who matters and nurture those relationships.
The best thing to do is to talk with the person in real life or meet up for an activity. The next best thing is talking on the phone, which is better than texts or emails. Seeing someone and hearing their voice activates your mirror neuron system in ways that texting can’t match.
Some questions to help you:
Beating yourself up won’t make you better. Instead of self-criticism, try self-reassurance.
When you’re trying to quit bad habits you often get critical with yourself which leads to bad feelings that make you cave and go back to your old ways. And self-criticism can also easily lead to bad moods.
You don’t need to buy anything or do anything to feel happier. You just need to appreciate what you already have.
Gratitude can decrease depression symptoms as well as stress in general and leads to increased perception of social support. It improves self-esteem and psychological well-being.
Importantly, gratitude has the power to activate the dopamine system.
Anti-goals represent a palpable set of values and actions that we don’t want to have and do. For example:
Sometimes it's easier to think about what we want to avoid than to consider what we want and that is why some anti-Goals will come quickly to the top of your mind e.g. “I don’t want to be living paycheck to paycheck”.
Just like goals, anti-goals need to be maintained and revisited as we grow. Therefore we have to make sure that they develop with us and help inform our knowledge of where we are and how we grow.
Elon Musk (Founder Of Spacex, Tesla Motors And Contributor To Paypal): Musk, at 12 years old, taught himself to code and sold a game he made for $500. When he moved to Canada, he worked odd jobs including tending vegetables, shoveling out grain bins, and cleaning out gunk from a boiler room in a lumber mill.
In university, Elon sold computer parts to make extra cash and turned his 10 bedroom fraternity home into a nightclub on the weekends and charged a cover. Since then, he’s built several companies, including SpaceX, Tesla Motors, PayPal, and zip2.
Sara Blakely (Founder Of Spanx): She started her billionaire journey when she was 27 years old, out of her Atlanta apartment and revolutionized the way women look in their clothes. She also started the Sara Blakely Foundation to help women through education and entrepreneurship and later joined the ‘Giving Pledge’, a commitment to donate the majority of her wealth to help others who truly need it.
Warren Buffett (CEO Of Berkshire Hathaway): He’s an American investment wizard and businessman who started investing in stocks at 11 years old and real estate investing at 14 years old. He’s had a few businesses and grew Berkshire Hathaway into one of the most valuable companies in the world based on his ‘invest what you know’ mentality and strategically investing in undervalued businesses for the long term in many industries.
Guy Laliberté (Co-Founder And Former CEO Of Cirque Du Soleil): He started as a street performer playing the accordion, walking on stilts and eating fire. In 1987, he co-founded a circus troupe in Montreal and took a big risk moving it to Los Angeles which eventually led to it becoming the famous Cirque du Soleil.
In 2009, he became the first Canadian space tourist and his spaceflight was dedicated to raising awareness on water issues making it the first, in his words, ‘poetic social mission’ in space.
Oprah Winfrey (CEO Of Oprah Winfrey Network): Considered one of the most influential women in the world, she is an American media mogul, producer, talk show host, author and philanthropist.
She grew up in poverty and by the time she was fourteen, she suffered physical abuse, molestation, and the death of her first newborn. A few years later, she won a beauty pageant, got her degree in speech and performing arts and became an ABC news anchor.
Mark Cuban (Owner Of The Dallas Mavericks, Landmark Theatres, Magnolia Pictures And Chairman Of Axs Tv): Before his billionaire days, he learned to stretch his dollar by living of ketchup and mustard sandwiches, couch surfing, and living on the cheap. In university, he made extra cash teaching dance lessons and hosting disco parties.
He lived on the cheap for a long time in order to build and grow his businesses and investments into a multi-billion-dollar empire.
Jack Ma (Founder Of China Yellowpages And Alibaba): His mental toughness and resilience got him through many failed school and university exams. After graduating, he went on to dozens of rejections from jobs.
Before becoming rich, he was kidnapped on a business trip to Los Angeles, threatened with a gun, and held captive in Las Vegas before managing to escape. His mental toughness, resilience, extreme determination and passion to achieve his goals eventually paid off and he went on to build a massive internet empire.
Zhou Qunfei (Founder Of Lens Technology): When she was 16, due to financial hardship and a need to support her blind father, she dropped out of school to work as an operator in a watch glass company.
She learned the ropes of the glass making business by studying alone at night and relying on books to create different technologies. Now, her company supplies touchscreen glass to a quarter of all smartphones in the world.
Uranium was first used as a coloring agent in the manufacture of pottery. As early as 79 CE, naturally-occurring uranium oxide was ground up into a yellow powder and applied as a pottery glaze.
Martin Heinrich Klaproth discovered the element uranium in 1749, but uranium's radioactive significance was only unlocked in 1896 by physicist Henri Becquerel. Pure uranium is a silvery-grey radioactive chemical element.
The dark triad of personality consists of narcissism (self-importance), Machiavellianism (strategic exploitation and deceit), and psychopathy (callousness and cynicism).
We are all at least a little bit narcissistic, Machiavellian and psychopathic.
The light triad of human nature consists of three distinct factors:
The light triad is not simply the opposite of the dark triad. There is a little bit of light and dark in each of us.
A study revealed that the average person is leaning more toward the light triad than the dark in their everyday patterns of thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Extreme malevolence is rare in the general population.