<p>"Life is a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death."</p><p>“The spirit of a man is constructed out of his choices.”</p><p>“Every person must choose how much truth he can stand.”</p><p>“If we climb high enough, we will reach a height from which tragedy ceases to look tragic.”</p><p>“It is wrong to bear children out of need, wrong to use a child to alleviate loneliness, wrong to provide purpose in life by reproducing another copy of oneself. It is wrong also to seek immortality by spewing one's germ into the future as though sperm contains your consciousness!”</p>

Quotes from Dr. Irvin Yalom

<ul><li>Irvin Yalom is an American existential psychiatrist. In his book "When Nietzsche Wept" he narrates the fictional story of a doctor <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josef_Breuer" target="_self">Josef Breuer</a> and the philosopher <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedrich_Nietzsche" target="_self">Friedrich Nietzsche</a>.</li><li>The book starts with a meeting between a friend of  Nietzsche with Breuer to ask him to urgently help Nitzsche as he is at the brink of suicide and his death will be a great death for humanity due to his bright future in philosophy.&nbsp;</li><li>Breuer decides to help Nietzsche but his own personal problems become more exaggerated along the way of consultations.&nbsp;&nbsp;</li></ul>

Summary of the book "When Nietzsche Wept" 

<ul><li>The book is full of psychological questions and answers with existential philosophy hints. This book is based on a methodology called "Psychoanalysis" which was developed by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigmund_Freud" target="_self">Sigmund Freud</a>.&nbsp;</li><li>In this theory, all the psychological problems are down rooted in the unconscious mind.&nbsp;</li><li>In this technique, psychologists aim to release repressed emotions and experiences, i.e., make the unconscious conscious.</li><li>Treatment focuses on bringing the repressed conflict to consciousness, where the client can deal with it.</li></ul>

In nineteenth-century Vienna, a drama of love, fate, and will is played out amid the intellectual ferment that defined the era. Josef Breuer, one of the founding fathers of psychoanalysis, is at the height of his career. Friedrich Nietzsche, Europe's greatest philosopher, is on the brink of suicidal despair, unable to find a cure for the headaches and other ailments that plague him. When he agrees to treat Nietzsche with his experimental “talking cure,” Breuer never expects that he too will find solace in their sessions. Only through facing his own inner demons can the gifted healer begin to help his patient. In When Nietzsche Wept, Irvin Yalom blends fact and fiction, atmosphere and suspense, to unfold an unforgettable story about the redemptive power of friendship.

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In nineteenth-century Vienna, a drama of love, fate, and will is played out amid the intellectual ferment that defined the era. Josef Breuer, one of the founding fathers of psychoanalysis, is at the height of his career. Friedrich Nietzsche, Europe's greatest philosopher, is on the brink of suicidal despair, unable to find a cure for the headaches and other ailments that plague him.<br><br>When he agrees to treat Nietzsche with his experimental “talking cure,” Breuer never expects that he too will find solace in their sessions. Only through facing his own inner demons can the gifted healer begin to help his patient. In <i>When Nietzsche Wept</i>, Irvin Yalom blends fact and fiction, atmosphere and suspense, to unfold an unforgettable story about the redemptive power of friendship.<br>

Irvin D. Yalom

When Nietzsche Wept

<p><strong>According to a 2019 study, here are the top three </strong><a href="https://ideas.ted.com/6-tips-for-dealing-with-conflict/"><strong>conflict</strong></a><strong> triggers that upset, irritate, hurt, or anger partners</strong></p><p><strong>1. </strong>Condescension (i.e., you are treated as stupid or inferior; your partner acts like they think they’re better than you.</p><p><strong>2.</strong> Possessiveness, jealousy and/or dependency (i.e., your partner demands too much attention or time or is overly jealous, possessive, or dependent)</p><p><strong>3.</strong> Neglect, rejection and/or unreliability (i.e., your partner ignores your feelings, doesn’t call or text, doesn’t say they love you)</p>

Conflict Triggers

<ul><li>Researchers from the University of Michigan and Penn State University followed more than 1,500 adults for more than a week, they found that while people felt better on the day they avoided an argument, the next day they had diminished psychological well-being and increased cortisol, which can lead to weight gain, mood swings, and trouble sleeping. </li><li>When partners avoided important relationship topics, they had worse communication, were less happy, and were less dedicated to their relationship seven weeks later.</li></ul>

Short-term gain, long-term pain.

<ul><li><strong>For the good of the relationship, every argument needs to start the same way: Partners need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. </strong>Rather than start off assuming your partner is wrong, is hopelessly flawed, has bad intentions, or is trying to hurt you, you give them what psychologist Carl Rogers calls “unconditional positive regard,” or the belief that at their core, everyone is a good person.</li><li><strong>For successful conflict resolution, next, you need to know what type of problem you’re dealing with. </strong>Serious problems should be dealt with differently than the more mundane problems. </li></ul>

<p><strong>Regardless of the problem, there’s no substitute for listening to your partner.</strong></p><p>How do we become better listeners? Give a “CRAPO”. Here’s what I mean:</p><h2><strong>1. Clarify: </strong>Be clear about what they’re saying if not ask questions. </h2><h2><strong>2. Reflect the other person’s feelings: </strong><a href="https://ideas.ted.com/5-exercises-to-help-you-build-more-empathy/">Mastering empathy</a> starts with a simple realization: Behind everything our partner says, there’s an emotion they’re dying to have us notice.</h2><h2><strong>3. Attend: </strong>Appearing fully engaged and present, without nearby distractions like your phone or other screens, conveys to your partner that the conversation is important.</h2><h2></h2><h2></h2><h2></h2>

Listening Techniques-1

<h2><strong>4. Paraphrase: </strong>To demonstrate your understanding, you should be able to recap what your partner is saying, using your own words. This has two big benefits: First, it shows your partner that you’re deeply invested in the conversation; second, knowing you need to paraphrase forces you to pay close attention.</h2><h2><strong>5. Open-ended questions: </strong>Keep the spotlight on your partner by giving them the space to talk through how they feel. Lead them toward deeper analysis by asking questions like “What would you suggest to someone else in this same situation?”; “How did you make this decision?”.</h2>

Listening Techniques-2

When we avoid arguing, we miss the opportunity to help our relationship improve -- without arguments there is no progress. Here's how we can embrace conflict *and* resolve it, from psychology professor Gary Lewandowski PhD .

When Nietzsche Wept

Most couples need to fight more, not less — here’s why and how to do it

Ahmad Ziaee