Consider it done! is a research paper written by E. J. Masicampo and Roy F. Baumeister. The authors state that once we commit to a particular plan of action to complete a task, we think less about that task. We have, on average, about 15 ongoing goals and projects at any given time, each goal with its own set of milestones. We also know unfinished goals can be a burden, so we offload them onto a to-do list. We feel relieved from the need to hold on to it mentally.

The science behind to-do lists

To-do lists are effective to keep us aware of our goals. Simply maintaining awareness of our goals helps us to feel disciplined. But there is a downside too. To-do lists are not enough to help us commit to the work. A to-do list can be a way of postponing work. It is too easy to constantly order the easiest work while the more complex or undesirable tasks stay on the list. This happens because we don't specify when and how to do it.

The benefits and disadvantages of to-do lists

When we plan to complete a task, <ul><li>we ease the stress we may feel to remind ourselves that we need to constantly do this thing.</li><li>we have to figure out what actions we need to take to finish the task and how and when to do them.</li></ul>When we imagine the plan, it seems easier and likelier to happen. Even if we have not started on it, we feel we know how to attain success.

Why we feel that to-do lists help 

Making a to-do list takes effort, so use one for new and difficult tasks, not for daily tasks like clearing your inbox or getting dressed. It is useful to move more of your tasks into the "automatic" space so that you need to spend less effort thinking about them. The key is to establish routines. If something is showing up regularly on your to-do list, it may be because you find it effortful.

How to manage to-do lists

Make the things you do more fun, such as listening to a podcast while you jog.Remind yourself why you are doing this important work. For example, instead of putting off your research project, think of the people you will help.

Inspire yourself

It involves a vicious cycle of tension, release, and reward.

Stashed ideas

Why We Continue to Rely on (and Love) To-Do Lists

Being inundated and exhausted became like a badge of honor at work**, a way to compare to others to convince ourselves that we're doing all we can with the time we have.
All too often, we see this state as something that's happening to us. More priorities at work, do more with less, have to keep up with our co-workers, and keep pace at home and in the community. But the more we take on the less we actually accomplish at work (and in life).
Being discerning is the skill to develop if you hope to have any sense of balance in your life.

No one loves saying "no"

Quite often, we'll kid ourselves about the real scope of something we agree to. It's critical to get clear on the real scope of what you're about to take on. How much work will it really take? How much time will that work really take?
And keep in mind Hofstadter's Law which says things always take longer than you expect. It's the accumulation of "one more thing" that adds up and quietly becomes overwhelming.

"What's really involved here?"

There will be a cost to everything additional you say "yes" to. It might be inconsequential, or not. Just be informed. 
What has to give to say "yes" to the new thing? What new skills, resources, or assistance will you have to acquire? How much attention and energy gets diverted from something else, and is that something else more important?

"What's the cost of saying 'yes'?"

What's your purpose and mission? While not every single thing you take on must flow into your mission, the vast majority of your work portfolio should all complement or support that cause.
Asking "What's the point?" brings you back to what the completion of that work serves. If it doesn't matter enough, or at all, you know what to do.

"Will taking this on serve my mission?"

Be cognizant of what work simply must not end up on your plate and why. Remembering the why is the key here --recall the emotions, pain, and price associated with taking on the kind of thing you said you wouldn't.
Even worse than taking on work that might not fit with your overall mission is work that you pointedly told yourself you wouldn't get sucked into, but find yourself getting sucked into.

"Is this on my 'to-don't' list?"

We often say "yes" just because it's so much easier than saying "no." It's human nature. 
So capitalize on that tendency by asking yourself if there's a different "yes" you can give so you can maintain the spirit of the affirmative.

"Can I give a different 'yes'?"

Before You Say 'Yes' and Overcommit Again, Ask Yourself 5 Questions

On social media, being good looking is important to attract a certain audience. Social media influencers are going to great lengths to appear appealing to their followers, in order to grow their fame. They spend thousands of dollars on surgeries and makeovers, making sure no fashion and lifestyle trend is left untouched.
This social media image is a high-maintenance affair, with many succumbing to mental health problems associated with the new barometers of success, as the number of likes on their Instagram posts.

The Society Of Spectacle

<ul><li>Digital stimuli interact with the brain like a slot-machine does, making the experience rewarding and addictive.</li><li>The brain prefers manageable uncertainty, needing to resolve something and feel good.</li></ul>Some of the social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram act as hyper stimulators of manageable uncertainty, where digital stimuli(follows, likes and dislikes) is on high gear, affecting the brain in a fast-forward manner.

Neuroscience And Manageable Uncertainty

According to Predictive Processing theorists, being able to manage uncertainty has been associated with living well. A majority of people are failing at checking their online addiction and self-obsession, resulting in increasing cases of depression and despair.Depression looked from the perspective of predictive processing, is a form of ‘cognitive rigidity’ where we fail to adjust our sensitivity towards criticism or feedback from others.

The Game Of Life: Predictable Processing

<ul>
<li>Social media showcases to us a world painted with beauty, luxury and leisure, where everyone is looking good and feeling happy. </li>
<li>This is creating a gap between the fantasy world in our smartphones and the real world.</li>
<li>Apps allow us to present ourselves in the best possible way, hiding our imperfections with beauty-enhancing software, providing others with a carefully selected, curated image of ourselves.</li>
<li>In return, we get more of the same, as the world we see on social media, especially the world of influencers on Instagram, is altered to hide anything unworthy or ugly.</li>
</ul>

Fake World, Fake Self

<ul><li>Some apps allow people to preview the effects of cosmetic surgery on themselves virtually, making them see what will happen when they go under the knife. </li><li>The lure of looking good on social media makes many go towards plastic surgery, thinking of it as the only option.</li><li>The average American teen spends over seven hours a day online, according to a 2019 study, playing the game of hyperstimulation to the hilt. </li><li>Too much inauthenticity and fake imagery lead to sky-high expectations and eventual failure.</li></ul>

Snapchat Surgery

<ul><li>Internet porn, according to Science writer Gary Wilson, is a dangerously rewarding and addictive hyper stimulator.</li><li>Just like pornography is a fancy presentation of unattainable sex goals, social media platforms are a fantasy version catering to our intrinsic desire to socialize with others.</li><li>Both pornography and social media show curated fantasies, presenting it as something that seems possible.</li><li>Both have high levels of excess, and novelty, kicking the reward system of the brain(that feel-good dopamine-producing feeling) into overdrive.</li></ul>

Pornography And Social Media

Apart from being a lot like pornography in terms of addiction and depiction of fantasy states, social media is akin to gambling when we see the habit-forming and arousing states of mind it creates.Gamification of many social media apps makes the unpredictable cycle of social interactions, or virtual rewards, many times more addictive and crafted to perfection.

Gambling And Social Media

The way app interactions are designed, the user sees highly interactive mechanisms to like, share, upvote or comment, making feedback immediate and direct. The notifications are designed to arouse the user with more variable rewards and eventual compulsive behaviour.Example: Facebook’s new ‘Swipe to Refresh’ feature works similar to a slot machine arm, making many describe the app as ‘behavioural crack cocaine’.

App Design To Hyper Stimulate The Mind

Too much engagement with hyper stimulants can cause addiction and depression, which social media companies fine-tune to perfection, leading to a perfect storm. This is because more engagement means more profit, and companies know very well what content is addictive and engaging due to their all-knowing algorithms and big-data analytics.

Too Much Detachment From Reality

Social media makes us feel terrible about who we really are. Neuroscience explains why – and empowers us to fight back

Self Improvement

Social media and the neuroscience of predictive processing – Mark Miller & Ben White | Aeon Essays

<ul>
<li>The term ego has many definitions. Sages say it is the only barrier between us and true enlightenment. Whether we define it as self-esteem, self-importance or our arrogant, stubborn nature, ego isn’t something to be discarded, as it has tremendous functionality in this world.</li>
<li>The term ‘ego’ comes from the Latin word ‘I’, which Sigmund Freud chose to describe as ‘es’(in the German language), later translated to the English word ‘ego.</li>
<li>People associate conceit (narcissism), arrogance, big headedness, or simply being smug with being egoistic. People who have an aura of superiority, pomposity, or pride can also be termed ego-centric.</li>
</ul>

The Ego

Psychology defines ego as a neutral concept which is one of many aspects of ourselves. The ego is then simply one’s individuality, the thoughts, behaviours and experiences that make a person unique. It is the part that perceives reality, making sense of all the information around us.
Sigmund Freud divided the human psyche into three parts: the id, the ego and the superego. The id is the primal, wild part of our mind, the ego is the ‘conscious mediator’, the rational part of our mind making all the decisions, and the superego is the conscience.

The Ego In Psychology

<ul>
<li>Self-Concept: Our own self-image, the way we perceive ourselves.</li>
<li>Identity: Our social status, physical characteristics and abilities.</li>
<li>Self-Perspective: Our own unique view of ourselves and the world around us.</li>
<li>Self-Worth: The ability to see the good in ourselves, someone who deserves good things and values being themselves.</li>
<li>Self-Esteem: It is a positive sense of self-worth, our own confidence, and the need to fulfil your and others desires.</li>
<li>Individuality: It is our own unique self, as each of us has our own thoughts, needs, abilities and preferences.</li>
<li>Personality: The unique traits, quirks and other qualities that make you who you are. Example: Cheerful, quiet, or bossy.</li>
</ul>

Synonyms Of The Ego In Psychology

<ul>
<li>Egoism is the belief that our moral behaviour is based on taking care of our own interests. Taking care of ourselves is actually a rational, desirable activity. If we take care of others while neglecting ourselves, we become worn out or suffer burnout. Example: Flight Attendants warn passengers that they should be putting on their own oxygen masks before helping anyone else with theirs.</li>
<li>Egotism means having a really big ego. Egotists are always talking about themselves.</li>
<li>Egocentrism is when one only sees their own perceptive and thinks that the world revolves around them. The focus of an egocentric person is only themselves.</li>
</ul>

Egoism, Egotism and Egocentrism

Despite it being a common word, what do you think is the best way to define ego? Find out the term's origin and definitions in different aspects today.

What’s The Best Way To Define Ego?

"Work hard at your job and you can make a living. Work hard on yourself and you can make a fortune."

Your work is a reflection of you. If you want something different: improve yourself.If you're not getting the results you're looking for, stop looking for better strategies. Instead, look inside. Try to continuously improve yourself, by expanding your vision, skills, and abilities.

Work On Yourself

You need to put yourself into positions that create immense pressure. The kind of pressure that will either make or break you. This is how you purge out your weakness and small-mindedness. It won't be pretty. But it will change you.

Put Yourself In Difficult Situations

If you're following someone else's tracks, where do you think those tracks will lead you? To your own destination or to theirs?If you don't know who you are, you'll always try to be someone else. And thus, you'll never be the best. Your work will always be a cheap imitation. It will lack the feeling that produced the work or the idea.

Don't Copy Other People

When you are in love with the process, you seek feedback, mentoring, and coaching , even when you're at the top of your game.You surround yourself with people who aren't afraid to tell you the truth. You avoid people who suck-up and only tell you what they think you want to hear.

Stay In Love With The Process

Don't throw your value-systems out the door in hopes of quick success.The moment you start compromising, you won't stop compromising.

Never Forget Why You're Doing This

It doesn't matter how good your strategy is, if you're not skilled at what you do, that strategy won't take you very far. As Jason Fried and DHH have said: "Many amateur golfers think they need expensive clubs. But it's the swing that matters, not the club.

Want to Become the Best at What You Do? Read This

Stoicism asserts that we don’t control and cannot rely on external events, only ourselves and our responses.

What is within our control

At the very root of Stoicism there is a very simple, though not easy, way of living: Take obstacles in your life and turn them into your advantage, control what you can and accept what you can’t.

Turning obstacles into advantages

“In life our first job is this, to divide and distinguish things into two categories: externals I cannot control, but the choices I make with regard to them I do control. Where will I find good and bad? In me, in my choices.”

Nassim Nicholas Taleb defines a Stoic as someone who, “transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation and desire into undertaking.”

The Stoics are men of action

When most people think of "philosophy," their eyes glaze over. It's the last thing they want, let alone something they need. But this, as you already know, is silly and naive. Philosophy is not just about talking or lecturing, or even reading long, dense books.

Stoicism: Practical Philosophy You Can Actually Use

It means cultivates insightful knowing rather than just a brain overloaded with information. Mindfulness creates space to let new information in and to allow us to see how it relates to what we already know.

Mindful learning

It is a process of quiet reflection that requires mindful attentiveness, letting go of distracting thoughts and opinions to be fully in the moment with the text. It slows down the reader and the reading—that alone changes the experience. It moves the reader into a calm awareness, allowing for a more profound experience and understanding.

Mindful Reading

Writing benefits from the capacities that mindfulness cultivates: being in the moment, even when remembering the past or imagining the future; not judging others and oneself while still exercising discriminating wisdom; holding multiple perspectives; being open to the new; and practicing kindness, compassion, and patience.

Mindful Writing

<ol><li>Compose an email.</li><li>Stop and take one long deep breath. </li><li>Think of the person to whom the email is going and how you want them to receive your message. Could they misunderstand your words?</li><li>Look at the draft email again.</li><li>Change it if appropriate.</li><li>Send.</li></ol>

Mindful Emailing

It's when we are fully present with what we’re hearing without trying to control it or judge it. We let go of our usual assumptions and we listen with respect to precisely what is being said.

Mindful Listening

We're all learning all the time. Parents learn to care for children, students learn physics, soldiers learn survival skills, and all of us learn the latest app or how kale will make us healthy. But much of what we call learning isn't particularly useful: I just "learned" on Facebook that someone I hardly know baked cupcakes today.

Three Simple Mindfulness Practices You Can Use Every Day

Studies show that there are these are the three causes of regret:
<ul>
<li>Inaction</li>
<li>Lost opportunities</li>
<li>Poor judgment</li>
</ul>
When we decide to not actively pursue the things that we want to, in retrospect, it will bring enduring regrets of what could have been. There are some things that we could have done at that time and some we could have prevented had we not done it.

Causes of regret

<ol>
<li>Make sure to spend time thinking about your decisions twice or thrice, but don't let it eat you up.</li>
<li>Stop undermining your relationships, both romantic and platonic.</li>
<li>Learn how to seize opportunities. You can't go back in time. Whatever you choose to do, whether study or travel or both, your experiences are your own.</li>
<li>Lay down your personal values and make decisions based on them. As long as you have a good justification for a decision to be made now, at least you won't regret it later.</li>
</ol>

Making big life decisions with no regrets

We make many decisions in life, often small, but big decisions come up from time to time where their ramifications may linger for years. It's often scary to make a big decision because of what might happen, but it's inevitable.
Certain studies showed the most common life decisions involved getting married, having children, their careers, and pursuing a degree. The less common ones involved ending a life and engaging in self-harm.

Life's biggest decisions

Regret is a feeling everyone experiences at one point in their life or several. It's a negative emotion that comes from the time we reflect on past decisions and wish we did something different.
Studies show that the most commonly reported regrets involved romance, family, education, career, finance, and parenting. Those in palliative care often wished they lived a life true to themselves, wished they didn't overwork themselves, or wish they stayed in touch with their friends.

Life's biggest regrets

A study which ranked important life decisions, combined with the most common regrets, offers valuable insights into how to prioritize decision-making.

Valuable lessons for making difficult decisions

Music has contributed to gatherings and bonding among groups for centuries, which is always a good way to create relationships.
Music is a side effect of self-awareness and love in our species. Many birds sing songs with the purpose of attracting mates, and while a sparrow's song is not as complex as one sung by humans, it involves the same basic motivations.

Music And Self-Awareness

Music is related to our cognitive capacity, comprehension, and self-awareness. It is our ability to create interesting fractals.
Love and trust are connected to music as it removes logic and reasoning out of the way, letting the people come into an imaginative dream world. Music evokes true love, commitment, long-term relationships, and emotional connections between people.
That is why we don’t just like music, we love music.

Why We Love Music

There are a number of theories, but this one focuses on our human need for music as being a side effect of our evolution of self-awareness and love.

Why Did We Evolve To Like Music?

Self-affirmations are a reflection of who you are. It is a way of thinking and writing about yourself, moreover, the things you stand for like your values in life. They are positive statements that we use to surmount the negative thinking. They do not rely on fake confidence or creating a fake reality.
They do have a bad reputation. So you have to do it in a way that doesn’t make you cringe.

Self-Affirmations

It is better to create your own self-affirmations if you do not reverberate with the whole "I radiate beauty and grace". If you don't know how, here are some self-affirmations that inspire me: 
<ol>
<li>You've done it in the past, you can do it again.</li>
<li>Do it today, not tomorrow.</li>
<li>Learn to love the difficult.</li>
<li>Just get done with it and move on!</li>
<li>So what!? Stop taking everything so seriously.</li>
<li>Stop overthinking and let's go!</li>
<li>I am a finisher. I am almost there!</li>
</ol>
Remember, self-affirmations are your core values.

Positive Self-Affirmation Ideas

I used to think that positive affirmations were nonsense. I’m not alone. Most of my friends truly can’t stand them. But they actually work!

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

Adrian Irwin
@aiew_oo

Why We Continue to Rely on (and Love) To-Do Lists

Before You Say 'Yes' and Overcommit Again, Ask Yourself 5 Questions

Social media and the neuroscience of predictive processing – Mark Miller & Ben White | Aeon Essays

What’s The Best Way To Define Ego?

Want to Become the Best at What You Do? Read This

Bite-sized knowledgeto upgradeyour career

Adrian Irwin@aiew_oo

Why We Continue to Rely on (and Love) To-Do Lists

Before You Say 'Yes' and Overcommit Again, Ask Yourself 5 Questions

Social media and the neuroscience of predictive processing – Mark Miller & Ben White | Aeon Essays

What’s The Best Way To Define Ego?

Want to Become the Best at What You Do? Read This

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

Adrian Irwin
@aiew_oo