Waiting for that "special someone" to magically appear in your close social circle isn't going to cut it. You need to go out and talk to people. Take matters in your hands. This is the reality for most people. Go to parties, social meetings or any place you feel like you have the courage to meet new people.

Getting To Know People

In social media you can literally be whoever you want. You can add filters to alter your physical appearance. You can delay and think your answers for as much as you like. You've living a life out of sync. Physical contact and close interaction is everything. It's straight forward. That's how humans are programmed to interact and that's how you should do it too. Observe the other person's facial expressions and body language and judge for yourself. Hear their voice, smell their scent and feel their touch. Don't be limited to using one sense instead of all 5.

Always Prefer Face To Face Interaction

This is a must. It's the base of everything. No matter what your style is, being clean and fresh is non-negotiable. Take a shower, change underwear, brush your teeth. Nobody likes to feel like smelling the inside of a septic tank everytime you open your mouth (unless they have a fetish or something wild like that, then you do you). Work on your mental health before dating, the other person is not your babysitter or your therapist. Do NOT talk about your exes, do NOT talk about your insecurities. If you must say you feel a little nervous that's ok, it can make you feel relaxed and open up.

Take Care Of Yourself Physically And Emotionally

Failing means learning and learning is good. The first times are going to feel painful. Failing at anything is unpleasant, but it's the only way to get your feedback and improve yourself. Accept rejection as a part of the process and don't fear it. Try to analyze what went wrong and where you can do better to have a different outcome next time. Failing is the main part of becoming successful at anything really.

You Will Fail. You MUST Fail.

Leave the cliché openers where they belong: in the trash. Nobody is gonna sleep with you or date you just because you said 10 words you saw on the internet. Be straight forward, be clear about your intentions and about the reason you approached the person in the first place. Leave no space for misunderstanding. It's not what you say specifically but how you say it. Be confident, believe in yourself. Keep your style and your humour because that's what you're gonna actually have in 2 or 3 months time. You can't keep faking forever.

Approaching The Other Person

Start new hobbies, read a lot of different things and generally don't stick to only doing one thing in your life. Everybody wants to have an inspiring and interesting person by their side. Being able to converse about a lot of things opens up your chances in the dating market by a A LOT, don't be a one-trick-pony because you're limiting yourself. Having common things to talk about is really important in the long run, you can't rely on small talk forever.

Be Versatile

Just because you're the one making the move doesn't mean the other person isn't afraid or stressed. Always make the other person feel as if they've known you for years. Pick up the conversation when it seems like it's dying and don't forget to let the other person speak. A person that feels they can let their inner child free is instantly a potential partner. Actively listen to the other person because it can always help you continue the conversation later and it shows you are able to care. Always face the other person as a simple human, just like you, not some kind of higher being

Understand That The Other Person Is Afraid As Well

You might be the most cultivated, the most interesting, the most "you name it" person in the world, but the other person might still not be interested in you or even find you boring. Many will also reject you for your looks. That's ok, that's great actually. Not everybody matches. They save both of you time with the honest rejection. Do not play the "friendship" card, people are not machines that you put kindness coins in them and they'll eventually love you. Take the loss because it's only a battle and not the war. Move on, no hard feelings. If the person says no, it's a no.

It's Not All About You

You've had your fair share of social interactions, you even feel like you are pretty good at communicating, but when it comes to dating or even talking to someone romantically/sexually , things don't seem to work out. Here's what might help:

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

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Motivation & Inspiration

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Understanding dating and unlocking your potential 

Don't sit in your parent's house and waste time. Do whatever entry level job if you don't have the skills for something better. Earned money provides independence and boosts your confidence, even if it's not a lot in the start. Working with other people builds your communication skills, your patience and forces you to adapt to different needs and personalities. Always work at the best of your ability and be kind. You never know who's watching and what opportunities may arise. If you have to quit always do it in a friendly manner.

Start Working Hard

This can't be stressed enough. Face your problems and don't push them aside, because a small patch of snow can become an avalanche. Find whatever feels best for you whether it is meditation, taking long walks alone, going to therapy or even speaking to your friends/family about it. Find a philosophy that suits you and try to practice it everyday. Happiness as a state doesn't exist, you're not going to magically feel happy forever just because you got married or got your degree, you have to constantly work hard for it.

Work On Your Mental Health

The past is over, you can't change it, you live in the present and tomorrow's the day you have to face. Forgive your parents or whoever made you feel horrible in the past. No-one is handed with instructions on how to be a good parent/person/anything when they are born. We all make mistakes and we don't know what damage they're going to cause sometimes. This doesn't mean "get them back into your life", just try to understand why they did what they did and move on. Forgiving them is like dropping a weight from your shoulders. You are responsible for yourself and happiness now, not others.

Let Go Of Your Past And Forgive

Hang out with people that make you better, that you evolve together, that enforce you and encourage you to keep practicing good habits. You don't need to have many people in your life, a few selected are more than enough.

Cut Off Toxic People And Avoid Drama

If you constantly try to make others feel better you'll lose yourself and your identity in the process. Be fair, be kind, be honest and set your boundaries. Learn to say NO. The croud pleaser card doesn't end well.

You Are Not Responsible For How Others Feel

Social media is a place full of drama, fake self-imagery, attention farming and narcissism. It provides only what the poster wants you to see, which is usually the best possible part of their life. Mindless scrolling burns your mind. Only use platforms like YouTube in order to watch tutorials or make some form of income. A messenger is more than enough to keep online contact with your friends and not stay behind in your social life. Go outside and talk to people, see their face expressions and reactions, not an emoji over the screen.

Delete Social Media

Apart from keeping you healthy, these two make you stay fit which helps you tremendously in your everyday life and also build your confidence and energy. Do not let it become an obsession though, you're only human.

Work Out And Eat Well

Drugs are not cool m'kay? Many people have destroyed their lives just for some dopamine spikes. Now, nobody is gonna tell you "Don't drink a beer or two at the party", but beyond that it's a huge problem. They can mess with your mood, energy and even your will to live. Porn is also a form of dopamine drug which completely destroys your expectations of sex, it desensitizes you and raises your standards without a reason. It can cause sexual dysfunctions and problems in your social and everyday life in general.

Stay Away From Drugs And Porn

Learn a set of skills in demand, be clever, be important. The more skills you have the more opportunities will arise. Keep some cash on the side for times of need and invest the rest in some way you think is good for your future. Spending everything now is fun but you never know what your future needs will be. Don't be afraid to fail a lot, avoid comfort and try new things and methods, now is the time for experimentation

Learn Skills And Invest

Your 20s are the era of change, experimentation, self-shaping and to be honest maybe even some severe frustration and struggle. They are your gateway to the actual world. Here is what you need to know and also some tips to help you get the absolute best out of this important period of your life:

Understanding dating and unlocking your potential

Just an honest guide to your 20s

Giorgos Tse