<ol><li>Adquirir una nueva vision</li><li>Hacer amigos rapida y facilmente</li><li>Aumentar su popularidad</li><li>Lograr que los demas piensen como usted.</li><li>Aumentar influencia y prestigio</li><li>Proceder ante las quejas, evitar discuciones, preservar relaciones humanas</li><li>Convertirse en un mejor orador</li><li>Despertar entusiasmo en sus asociados</li></ol>

Objetivos del libro

<ol><li>Tener un gran deseo de aprender</li><li>Leer cada capitulo rapidamente con ojo de pajaro y luego releea lentamente</li><li>Detengase frecuentemente para pensar en lo que esta leyendo.</li><li>Subraye y tome notas para poder revisarlo rapidamente en el futuro</li><li>No basta con leer el libro solo una vez; lealo mensualmente, tengalo cerca para poder ojearlo a menudo.</li><li>Aplique estas reglas en todas las oportunidades que tenga</li><li>Haga un juego del dominio de estas reglas</li><li>Autoanalisis semanal</li><li>Escriba sobre como a aplicado este libro</li></ol>

Como obtener mayores beneficios

<ol><li>No critique, no condene ni se queje.</li><li>Demuestre aprecio honrado y sincero.</li><li>Despierte un deseo en la gente </li></ol>

Tecnicas fundamentales para tratar con el projimo

<ol><li>Interesese sinceramente por los demas</li><li>Sonria </li><li>Para toda persona, su nombre es el sonido mas dulce</li><li>Sea buen oyente y anime a los demas a que hablen de si mismos</li><li>Hable siempre de lo que le interese a los demas</li><li>Haga que otra persona se sienta importante y hagalo sinceramente</li></ol>

Como agradar a la gente

<ol><li>La unica forma de ganar una discusion es evitandola</li><li>Demuestre respeto por las opiniones ajenas. Nunca diga que una persona esta equivocada</li><li>Si usted esta equivocado, admitalo.</li><li>Empiece en forma amigable</li><li>Logre que la otro persona diga si, si inmediatamente.</li><li>Permita que la otra persona hable mas.</li><li>Permita que la otra persona sienta que fue su idea.</li><li>Trate honestamente de ver su punto de vista.</li><li>Muestre simpatia por las ideas de la otra persona.</li><li>Apele a motivos nobles</li><li>Dramatice.</li><li>Lance un reto amable.</li></ol>

Logre que los demas piensen como usted

<ol><li>Empiece con un elogio y aprecio sincero</li><li>Llame la atencion a los errores de otros indirectamente</li><li>Hable de sus propios errores</li><li>Haga preguntas en lugar de ordenar</li><li>Permita que la otra persona salve su propio prestigio</li><li>Elogie el mas pequeno progreso, sea caluroso con su aprobacion</li><li>Atribuya a la otra persona una buena reputacion para que trate de mantenerla.</li><li>Haga que los errores parezcan faciles de corregir.</li><li>Procure que la otra persona se sienta satisfecha de hacel lo que usted sugiere.</li></ol>

Sea un lider

You can go after the job you want—and get it! You can take the job you have—and improve it! You can take any situation—and make it work for you! Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you: -Six ways to make people like you -Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking -Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment And much more! Achieve your maximum potential—a must-read for the twenty-first century with more than 15 million copies sold!

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

books

Books

Updated for today’s readers, Dale Carnegie’s timeless bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic that has improved and transformed the professional and personal and lives of millions. One of the best-known motivational guides in history, Dale Carnegie’s groundbreaking book has sold tens of millions of copies, been translated into almost every known language, and has helped countless people succeed. Originally published during the depths of the Great Depression—and equally valuable during booming economies or hard times—Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their professional and personal lives. How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches you: -How to communicate effectively -How to make people like you -How to increase your ability to get things done -How to get others to see your side -How to become a more effective leader -How to successfully navigate almost any social situation -And so much more! Achieve your maximum potential with this updated version of a classic—a must-read for the 21st century.

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer, and the developer of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills.

Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends and Influence People

<ul>
<li>A trigger is any stimulus that reshapes our thoughts and actions. In every waking hour we are being triggered by people, events and circumstances that have the potential to change us.</li>
</ul>
Now, how do we make triggers work for us?
Because our environmental factors are so often outside of our control, we may think there is not much we can do about them, but fate is the hand of cards we've been dealt and Choice is how we play the hand.

Triggers

"Our phone chrips, and we plance at the glowing screen instead of looking into the eyes of the person we love."We feel regret's sharp sting when we reflect on the opportunities squandered, the choices deferred, the efforts not made, the talants never developed in our lives. Usually when its too late to do much about it.If we do our job properly two things will happen: <ul><li>I would move closer to becoming the person I want to be.</li><li>There would be less regret.</li></ul>

Regret and objectives

We face three problems in introducing change into our lives:<ul><li>We can't admit that we need change: we create elavorate excuses that deny our need for change.</li><li>We do not appreciate inertia's power over us: given the choice, we prefer to do nothing.It takes extraordinary effort to stop doing something in our comfort zone.</li><li>We don't know how to execute change: there's a difference between motivation, understanding and ability. This book seeks to change this.</li></ul>

1. The truths of change

<ul><li>Some people say they want to change, but they don't really mean it.</li><li>Even when altering our behavior represents all reward and no risk and clinging to the status quo can costs us our careers and relationships, we still resist change.</li><li>Smoking should be a relatively simple challenge, it's a self contained behavior. Imagine how much harder it is when you let other people into the process, people whose actions are unpredictable, beyond your control and their responses can affect your success.</li></ul>

We don't like change

<ul><li>If I understand, i will do: some people read the book and say: "it's common sense. I didn't read anything that I don't already know". True, but I bet that you read plenty here that you don't already do. There is a difference between understanding and doing.</li><li>I have willpower and won't pive in to temptation: we deify willpower and self control; people who achieve through willpower are "strong" and "heroic". People who need help or structure are weak.</li></ul>

Belief triggers

<ul><li>Today it's a special day: tomorrow is back to normal, we'll be disciplined then.</li><li>At least I'm better than: it lowers the bar on our motivation and discipline.</li><li>I shouldn't need help and structure: our culture have contempt por simplicity and structure.</li><li>I wont get tired: the day before, when we plan to work long hours and finish our assignment, we are not exausted.</li><li>I have all the time in the world: we understimate the time it takes to get anything done. This triggers procastination.</li></ul>

Time and will

<ul><li>Noting unexpected will occur: we plan for a perfect world whitout distractions.</li><li>My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again: it's the difference between getting in shape and staying in shape. We have to keep going to the gym; forever.</li><li>Eliminating old problems will not bring new ones: the old problem of becoming CEO has been replaced by the problems of being CEO.</li><li>My efforts will be rewarded: getting better is it's own reward.</li></ul>

Dealing with change

<ul><li>An epiphany will suddently change my life: this type of change rarely lasts.</li><li>No one is paying attention to me: our slow and steady improvement may not be obvious to others.</li><li>If i change I am "unauthentic": thats a misguided belief that how we are today represents how we have always being and how we really are. We have changed before and we can change again for the better.</li><li>I have wisdom to change my own behavior: we thend to credit our success to ourselves and blame the situation for our losses.</li></ul>

Stubbornness 

<ul><li>Our environment is a nonstop triggering mechanism whose impoct on our behavior is too significant to be ingored.</li><li>Some environments are designed to lure us into acting against our interest.</li><li>It's not all bad. Our environment can be the angel on our shoulder, making us a better person. </li><li>We should learn that one tweak to the environment can change everything.</li></ul>

3. The environment

<ul><li>Our behavior can be an aberration triggered by a restaurant where we believe that paying entitles us to royal treatment.</li><li>People talk more softly with a soft spoken person and more quickly with a fast talker.</li><li>Being with certain people affects our mood, like old high school classmates or enduring our weekly call with an aging parent.</li><li>No matter how manny people talk about the weather, they're usually oblivious about it's influence on their moods.</li></ul>

Environmental Examples

We understand how much sleep we need, so why don't we do what we know it's good for us?We put off going to bed at the intended time because we preffer to remain in our current environment playing videogames or warching tv, rather than move to a calm and boring place like the bedroom.Getting a good night of sleep it's not something we deserve but rather something we must earn by developing better habits. We need to turn off the cellphone and turn in for the night.

The case of sleep

<ul><li>A feedback loop compromises four stages: evidence, relevance, consecuence and action.</li><li>They can be direct or indirect: direct triggers have no intermediate steps between the event and your response while indirect ones takea more.</li><li>They can be internal or external: external ones are the environment and internal are our feelings or ideas</li><li>They can be conscious or unconscious: your unconscious triggers shape your behavior beyond your awareness.</li><li>They can be anticipated or unexpected: we see anticipated triggers a mile away.</li></ul>

3.Identifying our triggers

They can be encouraging or discouragingEncouraging push us to maintain or expand what we are doing while the discouraging does the opposite.They can be Productive or CounteproductiveThis is the most important distinction. Productive triggers push us towar becoming the person we want to be. Counterproductive triggers pull us away.This expresses the timeless question between what we want and what we need. We want short therm gratification while we need long therm benefit.

Want vs Need

<ul><li>Pick a goal you're pursuing.</li><li>List the people or situations that influence the quailty of your performance.</li><li>Are they encouraging or discoucaging? Productive or counterproductive?</li></ul>If you're falling short on your goal, this simple excercise will tell you why. You're getting too much of what you want, not enough of what you need.

Exercise to identify your triggers

<ul><li>The sequence known as a habit loop are described by three terms: cue, routine and reward.</li><li>The golden rule of habit change design by Duhigg is to keep the cue and reward ande change the routine.</li><li>A modified, more complete way to view this is: trigger -> impulse -> awareness -> choice -> behavior.</li></ul>

6. How triggers work

<ul><li>Our closest relationships often become trigger festivals with consecuences that we rarely see in any other part of our lives; the fuming and shouting, the fights and slammed doors, the angry departures and refusals to talk to each other for months, years or decades.</li><li>We feel we can say or do anything with these people, they'll forgive us; we don't have to edit ourselves.</li></ul>

Our closest relationships

<ul><li>Inside each of us are two separate personas: the planner and the doer.</li><li>As a leader, you will assume the follower in you will obey each order precisely as you have articulated it. </li><li>You assume your follower self will not be presented with any reasons to fail during the day.</li><li>Nobody plans to fail, but when has your day ever worked out note for note as you planned it?</li><li>You have to consider that as the day goes on, your energy level diminishes and your motivation and self discipline will flag.</li></ul>

Superior planner, inferior doer

<ul><li>What if the planner in each of us could size up the situation at any point during the day and adopt the appropiate management style for the doer in us?</li><li>It's not just environmental intrusions and unpredicted events that upset our plans; it's also our willful discounting of past experience.</li><li>The planner who intends to make a deadline is also the myopic doer who forgets that he has never made a deadline in his life.</li><li>What punches us in the face is our environment.</li></ul>

Communication 

Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face.

Forecasting is what we must do after acknowledging the environment's power over us. It comprises three interconnected stages: anticipation, avoidance and adjustment.

7. Forecasting the environment

<ul><li>When our performance has clear and immediate consecuences, we rise to the occasion, we create our environment; we don't let it recreate us.</li><li>The problem is that the mayority of our day consists of minor moments, whet we're not thinking about our behavior.</li><li>This seemingly benign environments, ironically, are when we need to be most vigilant. </li><li>When we are not anticipating the environment, anything can happen.</li></ul>

Anticipation

<ul><li>Half the leaders I have meet don't need to learn what to do; they need to learn what to stop.</li><li>People award themselves for triumphing over temptation; avoidance doesn't feel like an achivement.</li><li>Quite often our smartest response to an environment is avoiding it.</li><li>We rarely thiumph over an environment that is enjoyable.</li><li>Temptation shows up in any enjoyable environment, urging us to relax , try a little of that, stay a little longer.</li><li>The not so good news is that it's hard to stay alert as we move.</li></ul>

Avoidance

<ul><li>To avoid undesirable behavior, avoid the environments where it is most likely to occur.</li><li>If you don't want to be lured into a tantrum by a person who gets on your nerves, avoid him.</li><li>If you don't want to be indulge into late night snacking, don't wander into the kitchen looking for leftovers in the fridge.</li><li>If we've given up drinking, we don't hang out at a bar.</li><li>We should adjust only after we anticipate our environment's impact and eliminate avoidance as an option.</li><li></li></ul>

When to avoid, when do adjust

<ul><li>We are geniuses at coming up with reasons to avoid change, we make excuses, we rationalize.</li><li>When we bluntly challenge ourselves to figure out what we can change and what we can't, what to loose and what to keep, we often surprise ourselves with the bold simlpicity of our answers.</li></ul>

The wheel of change

<ul><li>Creating is the glamorous poster child of behavioral change. </li><li>When we imagine ourselves behaving better, we think of it as an exciting process of self invention.</li><li>When we're dissatisfied, we may go to the other extreme, falling for any and every idea, never pursuing one idea long enough that it takes root and actually shapes a recognizably new us. That's chasing, not creating.</li><li></li></ul>

Creating

<ul><li>Preserving sound passive and mundane, but it's a real choice.</li><li>Successful people have a lot to preserve, but they also then to have the urge of constant improvement; to fight the status quo and not maintain it.</li><li>The most thankless decision we can make is the one that prevents something bad from happening, because we can never prove that we prevented something even worse.</li><li>Preserving is the same; we rarely get credit for not messing up a good thing.</li><li>Ask yourself: what in my life is worth keeping?</li></ul>

Preserving

<ul><li>Eliminating is our most liberating, therapeutic action, but we make it reluctantly; we always come out with excuses co avoid it.</li><li>We can continue doing what we are doing, but we'll never become the person you want to be.</li><li>Accepting is most valuable when we are powerless to make a difference; the problem is that our ineffectuality is precisely the condition we are most loath to accept.</li><li>When someone compliments your attaire, the correct answer is "Thank you", not " I have own this for years".</li></ul>

Eliminating and accepting

<ul><li>There are a few magic moves in life: optimism, apologizing, asking for help and active questions.</li><li>The act of self questioning changes everything.</li><li>People don't get better without follow up.</li><li>There's a difference between "Do you have clear goals?" and "Did you do your best to set clear goals for yourself?"</li><li>Suddently you aren't being asked how well you performed but rather how much you tried.</li><li>We may not hit our goals every time, but there's not excuse for not trying; anyone can try.</li></ul>

9. Active Questions

<ul><li>When people are asked passive questions they thend to give environmental answers. When asked exclusively, passive questions can be the natural enemy of taking personal responsability.</li><li>Different phrasing of the questions have an effect because active questions focus on what they can do to make a positive diffecence in the world rather than what the world can do to make a positive difference for them.</li><li>We rarely quantify our level of trying and effort.</li><li>The results are amazingly consistent.</li></ul>

Active vs Passive

<ol><li>Did I do my best to set clear goals today?</li><li>Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today?</li><li>Did I do my best to find meaning today?</li><li>Did I do my best to be happy today?</li><li>Did I do my best to build positive relationships today?</li><li>Did I do my best to be fully engaged today?</li></ol>

10. Engaging questions

<ol><li>Daily questions are a commitment device.</li><li>Daily questions focus on where we need help, not where we are doing fine. We all have tasks and behaviors that come natulally.</li><li>Self discipline refers to achieving desirable behavior and Self control to avoiding undesirable behavior. We are good at repeating the positive but not so good at avoiding negatives.</li><li>They shrink our goals into maneagable increments.</li></ol>

11. Daily questions in action

<ul><li>Daily questions act as our coach.</li><li>This is how successful change happens: we make choices that marry our intention with execution.</li><li>We think we can do it on our own; quite often we can do it, of cource, but what's the wirtue of saying no to help?</li><li>Do we continue suffering our self created disapointment or do we try harder?</li><li>It's a public admission that we I'm weak. We are all weak; the process of thange is hard enough without grabbing all the help we can get.</li></ul>

12. Planner, doer and Coach

<ol><li>If we do it, we get better: we don't get many guarantees in life, but this is one of them. My clients get better if they listen to me, they don't if they do nothing.</li><li>We get better faster: you will get more efficient at the process of getting better. We recognize the situations we are likely to stray from our plans.</li><li>We became our own coach: over time, after many reminders, we learn to adapt. After many failures, one day we make the better choice.</li></ol>

Advantages of the Coach

<ul><li>AIWATT is the delaying mechanism we should be deploying in the interval between trigger and behavior.</li><li>This is the first principle for becoming the person you want to be. It is phrased in the form of a question you should be asking yourself whenever you must choose to either engage or "let it go".</li><li>It doesn't require you to do asything, merely to avoid doing something foolish.</li></ul>Am i willingAt this timeTo make the investment requiredTo make a positive diffecence On this topic?

13.AIWATT

<ul><li>We bebave one way when we believe there is another person at the helm. We can blame that person for our missfortune.</li><li>We behave more calmly when we learn that it's an empty boat. We make peace withe the fact that our misfortune was the result of fate or bad luck.</li><li>There's never anyone in the other boat. We are always screaming at an empty vessel. An empty boat isn't targeting us, and neather are the people.</li><li></li></ul>

An empty boat

<ul><li>Being mad at people for being who they are makes as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair.</li><li>If there's a person who drives you crazy, you don't have to like or agree with or respect him, just accept him for being who he is.</li><li>People disappoint us or disagree with us when it's in their best interest to do so, not because they want to cause us pain.</li><li>They're are doing so because that's wha they are, not because who we are.</li><li>Who's being punished here? Who is doing the punishing?</li></ul>

Your boat

<ul><li>Our mission in life should be to make a positive difference, not to prove how smart or right we are.</li><li>When we have the opportunity to demonstrate our brainpower, we're rarely thinking about a positive result for the other people in the room.</li><li>There's a moral superiority you assert when you tell a friend or loved one that she shouldn't smoke.</li></ul>

False positives

<ul><li>Why bother?</li><li>Because the autor's a fraud and a cheat</li><li>And you needed the world to know that you were smart enough to spot it?</li><li>That's part of it. I was marally outraged by the book as well.</li><li>But couldn't you have just let it go and spent those hours more productively?</li><li>I had to do it and I enjoyed it.</li></ul>That's all I needed to hear. He had done his private risk-reward analysis. He wasn't being a troll. In his mind he was doing good - and enjoying it.

One star Amazon review

<ul><li>Conffirmation bias is the tendency to favor information that confirms our opinions, whether it's true or not.</li><li>We're all guilty of this.</li><li>Your brilliant marshaling of data not only fails to persuade the believer, it backfires and strengthens his or her belief.</li><li>You know how rare it is for one side to walk away with their opinion altered.</li><li>None of this makes sense. At best, you've spent a lot of time failing to change someone's mind. At worst, you've made an enemy or damaged a relationship.</li></ul>

The backfire effect

<ul><li>Every decision in the world is made by the person who has the power to make that decision. Make peace with that.</li><li>Sometimes we are yelling at an empty boat, except it's our boat.</li><li>Our environment tempts us many times a day to engage in pointless skirmishes, and we can do something about it- by doing nothing.</li><li>The our you spend in the meeting is one hour of your life that you never get back. If you are miserable, it is your misery. Why waste that hour being disengaged and cynical?</li></ul>

Engagement

<ul><li>The problem is ego. People consider repetitious activity as mundane, uncreative, somehow beneath them. </li><li>How could something so simple do any good?</li><li>One of the mayor contributions of estructure is that it limits our options so that we're not thrown off course by externalities.</li><li>Imposing strecture on parts of our day is how we seize control of our otherwise unruly environment.</li><li>Can it be that simple? Evidently yes. The simpler the structure, the more likely we'll stick with it.</li></ul>

14.We don't get better without structure.

<ul><li>In any situation we can live in one of three dimensions: past, present or future.</li><li>The present is the ideal place to be; this is where we shape ourselves into a better person. </li><li>Hourly questions have a specific short-term utility. They are for the short game- when we require a burst of discipline to restrain our behavioral impulses for a determined period of time.</li><li>One good example is to ask ourselves Did I do my best to enjoy my friends? when we go out.</li></ul>

18. Hourly questions

<ul><li>We understimate how the quality of our goals offects our motivation.</li><li>Skill is the beating heart of high motivation. The more skill we have for the task at hand. the easier it is to do a good job.</li><li>It makes sense that we are highly motivated to do things we're good at. Good performance provides good feedback, placing us in a contantly reinforcing feedback loop.</li><li>Insufficient skill practically preordains our marginal motivation.</li></ul>

Skill and motivation

If your motivation for a task or goal is in any way compromised (because you lack the skil, or don't take it seriously, or think that you've done so far is good enough) don't take it on. Find something else to show the world how much you care, not how little.

What to do

<ul><li>We think that because we raised our hand to help out we can opt out of inconvenient moments.</li><li>We don't need integrity to live up our smart commitments, the test is delivering performance on our stupid commitments.</li><li>We are professionals at what we do, amateurs at what we want to become. We need to erase this devious distincton to become the person we want to be.</li><li>Never wrestle with a pig because you both get ditry but the pig loves it.</li></ul>

Effort

<ul><li>Going though life and never changing our tastes, opinions, and preferences is impossible , because our environment won't allow it.</li><li>We take foolish pride in prolonging some behaviors as long as possible, with no regard for who we harmed.</li><li>The time we are miserable is time we can never get back. Even more painful, it was our doing. It was our choice.</li><li>The opening pages of the book promised that the reader would have a little less regret in life. Now is your turn.</li></ul>

22.The hazard of leading a Changeless life

<ul><li>We never achieve perfection. The best we can hope for is a consistency in our effort.</li><li>What's worrisome is when the striving stops, our lapses become more frecuent and we begin to coast on our reputation.</li><li>The mustard on a sandwich can be good enough, but in the interpersonal realm- how a husband treats his wife, or a son deals with an aging parent, or a trusted friend responds when people are counting on him- good enough is setting the bar too low.</li></ul>

19.The trouble with "Good enough"

A renowned executive coach and psychologist shows readers how to recognize and overcome the emotional and psychological triggers that set off a reaction or a behavior that often is detrimental so that they can achieve meaningful and sustained change.

Bestselling author and world-renowned executive coach Marshall Goldsmith examines the environmental and psychological triggers that can derail us at work and in life.Do you ever find that you are not the patient, compassionate problem solver you believe yourself to be? Are you surprised at how irritated or flustered the normally unflappable you becomes in the presence of a specific colleague at work? Have you ever felt your temper accelerate from zero to sixty when another driver cuts you off in traffic?Our reactions don’t occur in a vacuum. They are usually the result of unappreciated triggers in our environment—the people and situations that lure us into behaving in a manner diametrically opposed to the colleague, partner, parent, or friend we imagine ourselves to be. These triggers are constant and relentless and omnipresent. So often the environment seems to be outside our control. Even if that is true, as Goldsmith points out, we have a choice in how we respond.In Triggers, his most powerful and insightful book yet, Goldsmith shows how we can overcome the trigger points in our lives, and enact meaningful and lasting change. Goldsmith offers a simple “magic bullet” solution in the form of daily self-monitoring, hinging around what he calls “active” questions. These are questions that measure our effort, not our results. There’s a difference between achieving and trying; we can’t always achieve a desired result, but anyone can try. In the course of Triggers, Goldsmith details the six “engaging questions” that can help us take responsibility for our efforts to improve and help us recognize when we fall short.Filled with revealing and illuminating stories from his work with some of the most successful chief executives and power brokers in the business world, Goldsmith offers a personal playbook on how to achieve change in our lives, make it stick, and become the person we want to be.

Marshall Goldsmith is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Marshall Goldsmith has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Marshall Goldsmith's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Marshall Goldsmith

Mark Reiter is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Mark Reiter has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Mark Reiter's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Mark Reiter

<ul><li>The rulling powers continue to tell us that if we just put our nose to the grindstone and work hard now, we will be successful, and therefore happier, in some distant future.</li><li> As we work towards our goals, happiness is either irrelevant or an easily dispensable luxury or a reward only to be won after a lifetime of toil. </li><li>Some even treat it as a weakness, a sign that we're not working hard enough.</li></ul>

1.Success and happiness 

<ul><li>According to Einstein's Special Theory of Rulativity, many of the seemingly inviolable laws of the universe become altered based on the observer.</li><li>While we of course can't change reality through sheer force of will alone, we can use our brain to change how we process the world.</li><li>Brains are like single processors capable of devoting only a finite amount of resources to experiencing the world.</li></ul>

2.Changing your mindset

<ul><li>Obviously, there are people for whom this positivity come more naturally.</li><li>While we each have a happiness baseline that we fluctuate arround on a daily basis, with concerted effort, we can raise that baseline permanently so that even when we are going up and down, we are doing so at a higher level.</li></ul>

Everyone is different

<ul><li>Happiness is the experience of positive emotions; pleasure combined with deeper feelings of meaning and purpose.</li><li>Martin Seligman has broken it down into three measurable components: pleasure, engagement and meaning.</li><li>The happiness advantage is a revolution that shows us that success orbits arround happiness and not the other way arround.</li></ul>

What is happiness? 

<ul><li>People who flank their computers with pictures of loved ones aren't just decorating, they're ensuring a hit of positive emotion each time they glance in that direction.</li><li>Studies have shown that the less negative TV we warch, specifically violent media, the happier we are.</li><li>Psychologists have found that people who watch less TV are actually more accurate judges of life risks. These people are less likely to watch sensationalized information, and thus see reality more clearly.</li></ul>

Infuse positivity in your surroundings

Here are a number of proven ways we can improve oun meeds and raise our levels of happiness throughout the day:<ul><li>Meditate: Neuroscientists have found that monks who spend years meditating actually grow their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain most responsible for feeling happy. Research even shows that regular meditation can permanently rewire the brain to raise levels of happiness, lower stress, even improve immune function.</li></ul>

Meditation

<ul><li>Excercise: physical activity releases pleasure inducing chemicals called endorphins, but that's not the only benefit as the feelings of mastery and motivation have many other rewards.</li><li>Practice a signature strenght: each time we use a skill, we expicience a burst of positivity. </li><li>Spend money on experiences: especially ones with other people, producing positive emotions that are both more meaningful and more lasting.</li></ul>

Mastery and health

<ul><li>Find something to look forward to: often, the most enjoyable part of an activity is the anticipation. Anticipating future rewards can actually light up pleassure centers in your brain as much as the actual reward.</li><li>Commit conscious acts of kindness: giving to friends and strangers alike decreases stress and contributes to enhanced mental health.</li></ul>

Anticipation and Kindness

<ul><li>So how exactly is it that our relative perception of what is happening, or what we think will happen, can actually affect what does happen?</li><li>One answer is that the brain is organized to act on what we predict will happen next, something psychologists call "Expectancy Theory"</li><li>Once we realize how much our reality depends on how we view it, it comes as less of a surprise that our external circunmstances predict only about 10 percent of our total happiness.</li></ul>

Expectancy Theory

Employees have one of three work orientations or mindsets about our work. We view our work as a Job, a Career or a Calling.<ul><li>Job: work is a chore and their paycheck is the reward. They work because they have to.</li><li>Career: work is not only a necessity but also to advance and succeed. They are invested in their work and want to do it well.</li><li>Calling: work it's and end in itself; their work is fulfilling not because of external rewards but because they feel it contributes to the greater good.</li></ul>

Job, Career or Calling

"To be honest, it has to be about money; we're not saving dolphins here." This executive had unwittingly primed his employees for failure. Here's what he had effectively said: "Saving the delphins is meaningful and has a positive effect on the world, while the job you're in provides no meaning and worth beyond making you a lot of money." He reminded everyone that they had jobs, not callings.

"We're not saving dolphins here"

<ul><li>Researchers paid 27 people to play Tetris for multiple hours a day, three days in a row. </li><li>For days after the study, some participants literally couldn't stop dreaming about shapes falling. They become stuck in something ralled a "cognitive afterimage".</li><li>Playing hour after hour of Tetris actually changes the wiring of the brain. The consistent play was creating new neural pathways.</li><li>You can only follow a pattern that you have been practicing to see.</li></ul>

3. The Tetris Effect

<ul><li>We are often rewarded for noticing the preblems that need solving, the stresses that need managing and the injustices that need righting.</li><li>The problem is that if we get stuck in only that pattern, always looking for and picking up on the negative, even a paradise can become a hell. </li><li>Even worse, the better we get at scanning for the negative, the more we miss out on the positive.</li><li>The good news is that we can also train our brains to scan for the positive.</li></ul>

We are rewarded for being negative

<ul><li>Lawyers are 3.6 times more likely to suffer from major depressive disorder than the rest of the employed population.</li><li>This might seem a relatively surprising finding given that lawyers have high levels of education, pay and status, but in fact, given wthat they are required to do all day long, its not that surprising at all.</li><li>Athletes can't stop competing with their friends or families, social workers can't stop distrusting men, managers can't stop micromanaging their children's lives.</li></ul>

What we are required to do at work

<ul><li>Brains have a filter that only lets the most pertinent information through to our consciousness. </li><li>If we have programmed our brain's filter to delete the positive, that data will cease to exist for us.</li><li>Imagine a way of looking a the world that constantly picked up on the positives in every situation, focusing on happiness, gratitude and optimism.</li><li>Expecting positive outcomes actually makes them more likely to arise.</li></ul>

Positivity 

<ul><li>The best way to kickstart this is to start makind a daily list of the good things in your life.</li><li>Just as it takes days of concentrated practice to master a video game, training your brain to notice more opportunities takes practice focusing on the positive.</li><li>Over a decade of empirical studies has proven the profound effect it has on the way our brains are wired.</li><li>Then you write down a list of three good things that happened that day, your brain will be forced to scan the last 24 hours for positives.</li></ul>

A list of positives

<ul><li>As the name implies, rose tinted glasses let the really major problems into our field of vision, while still keeping our focus largely on the positive.</li><li>The ideal mindset isn't heedless of risk but it does give priority to the good.</li><li>In business and in life, the reasonable optimist will win every time.</li></ul>

Rose tinted glasses

<ul><li>As with any skill, the more we practice, the more easily and naturally it comes.</li><li>The best way to ensure follow through on a desired activity is to make it a habit</li><li>The key is to ritualize the task.</li><li>Given the choice between seeing the world through rose tinted glasses or always walking around under a rain cloud, the contest isn't even close.</li><li>Science has shown that seeking out the positive has too many tangible advantages to be dismissed as mere cockeyed optimism or wishfull thinking.</li></ul>

Practice, practice, practice

<ul><li>The brain is constantly creating and revising mental maps to help navigate our way through this complex and ever changing world.</li><li>Early failure is often the fuel for the very ideas that eventually transform industries and reinvent careers.</li><li>Psychologists actually recomend that we fail early and often. We can only learn to deal with failure by actually experiencing failure.</li><li>The earlier we face difficulties and drawbacks, the better prepared we are to deal with inevitable obstacles along our path.</li></ul>

4.Learning from our failures

<ul><li>There was an experiment with dogs pairing bell noices with small shocks to see how they would react to the bell alone.</li><li>They created a room divided into two, on which they would be shocked on one side, but on the other side they would be safe from shocks.</li><li>They accidentally taught the dogs to be helpless: earlier the dogs learned that once the bell rang, the shock was sure to follow, so they believed that there was nothing they could do to avoid the shock and they didn't even tried to swich rooms.</li></ul>

Evil dog experiment

<ul><li>When life delivers us a shock, we can become so hopeless that we respond simply by giving up. Helplessness is a belief in the futility of our actions.</li><li>A counterfact is an alternate scenario our brains create to help us evaluate and make sense of what really happened. </li><li>We have the power in any given situation to consciously select the counterfact that makes us feel fortunate rather than helpless.</li><li>The idea that things are never as bad as they seem is actually a fact based on our biology.</li></ul>

Counterfacts and helplessness

<ul><li>An explanatory style means how we choose to explain the nature of past events.</li><li>People with an optimistic explanatory style see these events as being local and temporary.</li><li>Those with a pessimistic explanatory style see these events as more global and permanent.</li><li>Decades of study have shown that explanatory style has a crutial impact on our happiness and future success.</li><li>Some people already have an optimistic explanatory style.</li></ul>

Explanatory style

<ul><li>Limiting your focus to small and manageable goals can expand your sphere of power.</li><li>One of the biggest drivers of success is the belief that our behavior matters; that we have control over our future.</li><li>By first limiting the scope of our efforts, then watching those efforts have the intended effect, we accumulate the resources, knowledge and confidence to exand the circle, gradually conquering a larger and larger area.</li><li>When we see hard wok pay off, our belief in ourselves grows stronger.</li></ul>

5.The Zorro circle

<ul><li>Write your stresses, daily challenges and goals, then separate them into two categories: things that you have control over and things you don't.</li><li>Identify one small goal you know you can quickly accomlpish.</li><li>Concentrate your efforts on small areas where you know you can make a difference.</li><li>With an increasingly internal locus of control and a greater confidence in our abilities, we can then expand our efforts outward.</li><li>You can't sprint your way to a marathon.</li></ul>

Stoic Activity 

<ul><li>Unwillingness to start with small circles and take too much at once nearly guarantees failure and we don't feel good about it.</li><li>In today's results obsessed workplace, it's no wonder we're impatient and overly ambitious.</li><li>No matter what you may have heard from motivational speakers, coaches and th like, reaching for the stars is a recipe for failure.</li><li>It's important to push the limits of possibility, just not all at once.</li></ul>

Start small

<ul><li>When you are stressed and afraid to do a job, not only you want to avoid it but you may feel so overwhelmed by the situation you don't feel like doing any work at all.</li><li>When the challenges we face are particularly challenging and the payoff remains far away, setting smaller, more manageable goals helps us build our confidence and celebrate our forward progress, and keeps us commited to the task at hand.</li><li>Each tiny fix can add up to over a million tiny fixes each year.</li></ul>

Tiny fixes

Without a time limit, even small tasks can quickly escalate back into an overwhelming challenge with no end in sight.

Time limit

<ul><li>Turn bad habits into good ones by minimizing barriers to change.</li><li>Habits form because our brain actually changes in response to frequent practice.</li><li>Common wisdom has long proposed that it takes 21 days to make a habit.</li><li>It's not the number of distractions that get us into thouble, it's the ease of access to them.</li><li>Technology may make it easier for us to save time, but it also makes it a whole easier for us to waste it.</li><li>What if I could eliminate the amount of activation energy to get started?</li></ul>

6. The 20 second rule

<ul><li>In life, knowledge is only part of the battle. Without action, knowledge is often meaningless.</li><li>We all know that we should excercise, sleep eight hours and be kind to others, but does this common knowledge make doing this things any easier?</li><li>Thats why even though doctors know better than anyone the importance of excercise and diet, 44 percent of them are overweight.</li><li>Positive habits are hard to keep, no matter how commonsensical they may be.</li></ul>

Common sense is not common action

<ul><li>Humans are biologically prone to habit, and it is because we are "mere bundles of habits" that we are able to automatically perform many of our daily tasks.</li><li>It is precisely because we are so automatic that we rarely stop to think about the enormous role they play in shaping our behavior and in fact, our lives.</li><li>You did not have to remind yourself all day to keep your clothes on. It was not a stuggle. It didn't deplete your reserves of energy or brainpower. It was second nature, automatic, a habit.</li></ul>

We are mere bundles of habits

<ul><li>Any dietician will tell you that relying on willpower to complitely avoid unhealthy food nearly guarantees relapse.</li><li>We think we can go from 0 to 60 in an instant, changing or overturning ingrained life habits through the sheer force of will.</li><li>The reason willpower is so innefective at sustaining change is that the more we use it, the more worn out it gets.</li><li>We follow the paths of least resistance and that path inevitably leads us to the couch or television. </li></ul>

Willpower it's not the way

<ul><li>The more often we succumb to this path, the more difficult it becomes to change directions.</li><li>We are drown powerfully, magnetically, to those things that are easy, convenient and habitual and it's incredibly dificult to overcome this inertia.</li><li>This is why magazines send us a free subscription and then automatically start deducting money from our account.</li><li>The average american watches tv 7 hours a day.</li></ul>

The path of least resistance

<ul><li>Default options are everywhere, shaping our choices and our behavior in all areas of our lives.</li><li>Active leisure like hobbies, games and sports enhance our concentration, engagement and sense of enjoyment.</li><li>Exercise in the morning raises your performance on cognitive tasks and gives your brain a "win" to start a cascade effect of positive emotions.</li><li>Limiting the choices we have to make can also help lower the barrier to positive change.</li><li>Setting rules in advance can free us from the constant choices.</li></ul>

Change your default

<ul><li>The book is full of ways we can capitalize on the happiness advantage, but without actually putting those strategies into action, they remain useless.</li><li>The key to creating habits is ritual, repeated practice, until the actions become ingrained into your brain's neural chemestry.</li><li>We need to eliminate the activation energy on the things we want to adopt and get the things we want to avoid more difficult.</li></ul>

Creating a habit is a ritual

<ul><li>We don't have to go to the brink of a collapsing economy to understand how easy it is to retreat into our own shells at the moment we need to be reaching out to others the most.</li><li>As for time with family and friends, well, these things are the first to go when we're in crisis mode.</li><li>We have 70 years of evidence that our relationships with other people matter.</li><li>When we have a community of people we can count on, we multiply our emotional and intellectual resources.</li></ul>

7. Social support is your greatest asset.

<ul><li>Social support was a far greater predictor of happiness than any other factor, more than GPA, income, SAT scores, age, gender or race.</li><li>Surrounded by people, big challenges feel more manageable and small challenges don't even register on the radar.</li><li>Our social support prevents stress from knocking us down and getting in the way of achieving our goals.</li><li>This thruth is sometimes difficult for many of us to accept, given how deep the ethic of individualism runs in our culture.</li></ul>

Social support and success

<ul><li>The people who actively invest in their relationships are the heart and soul of a thriving organization, the force that drives their teams forward; in sports, these people are called "glue guys".</li><li>It's important that we work on being present, both physically and mentally. That means when someone walks into your office to talk, don't stare at your computer screen.</li></ul>

Glue guys

<ul><li>Not only do we need to invest in new relationships, we should always be reinvesting in our current relationships because, like our stocks, social support networks grow stronger the longer they are held.</li><li>A research suggests that how we support people during good times, more than bad times, affects the quiality of the relationship.</li></ul>

Good times

<ul><li>There are different types of responses we can give to someone's good news, and only one of them contributes positively.</li><li>The winning response is both active and constructive; it offers enthusiastic support, as well as specific comments and follow up questions.</li><li>That's wonderful! I'm glad your boss noticed how hard you've been working. When does your promotion go into effect.</li><li>Forging a connection requires active listening, giving someone your full attention and also allowing then to have a say.</li></ul>

Listening and responses

<ul><li>No matter where I am in the world, most people thinks this research is useful for them, but even more useful for all the people arround them.</li><li>The person we have the greatest power to change is ourselves.</li><li>This process starts with your brain. Your thoughts and actions are constantly shaping and reshaping the neural pathways in the brain.</li><li>Our actitudes and behaviors don't only affect the people we interact with directly, it actually appears to extend to people within three degrees of separation.</li></ul>

8. Conclusion

Like second hand smoke, the leakage of emotions can make a bystander an innocent casualty of someone else's toxic state

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER • The happy secret to greater success and fulfillment in work and life—a must-read for everyone trying to flourish in a world of increasing stress and negativity “Thoughtfully lays out the steps to increasing workplace positivity.”—Forbes In the book that inspired one of the most popular TED Talks of all time, New York Times bestselling author Shawn Achor reveals how rewiring our brain for happiness helps us achieve more in our careers and our relationships and as students, leaders, and parents. Conventional wisdom holds that once we succeed, we’ll be happy; that once we get that great job, win that next promotion, lose those five pounds, happiness will follow. But the science reveals this formula to be backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. Research shows that happy employees are more productive, more creative, and better problem solvers than their unhappy peers. And positive people are significantly healthier and less stressed and enjoy deeper social interaction than the less positive people around them. Drawing on his original research—including one of the largest studies of happiness ever conducted—and work in boardrooms and classrooms across forty-two countries, Achor shows us how to rewire our brains for positivity and optimism to reap the happiness advantage in our lives, our careers, and even our health. His strategies include: • The Tetris Effect: how to retrain our brains to spot patterns of possibility so we can see and seize opportunities all around us • Social Investment: how to earn the dividends of a strong social support network • The Ripple Effect: how to spread positive change within our teams, companies, and families By turns fascinating, hopeful, and timely, The Happiness Advantage reveals how small shifts in our mind-set and habits can produce big gains at work, at home, and elsewhere.

How To Win Friends and Influence People

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The Happiness Advantage

Josh CR