By using anger or frustration as signals that we need to investigate our childhood, we can start working toward ditching those negative overreactions and instead empathizing with our child. Ultimately, we can grow into the considerate parents that we want to.

Our reactions as parents are closely tied to our childhood.

Think about a tree. If you want it to grow, you need to provide open space, fertile soil, sun and water. And if the soil is lacking in nutrients, or it doesn’t receive enough water and light, your tree will still grow – just not to the heights it could have. The same is true for children – if they don’t have an optimal environment, it’ll stunt their growth.

Your child needs an optimal environment to flourish.

If we deny a child’s feelings, even those that seem ridiculous to us, they don’t disappear. Children simply learn to suppress them – and that’s an extremely harmful habit.

Understand and acknowledge your child's feelins.

All this means is to consistently meet a baby’s emotional and material needs – for example, not letting them cry too long for food or physical closeness. If we can achieve this with regularity, babies are more likely to grow up optimistic, sociable and trusting of other people.

Babies need to form a deep, secure attachment.

Firsty, we need to harness the power of engaged observation. Try to understand or feel what the other person is trying to get across. Doing this with our children helps us form a deep, loving bond with them, and it’s something you can practice together well into their adulthood. Next, we should be careful with our phones Infront of children.Finally, never underestimate or obstruct the power of play.

Ensure our child develops sound mental health.

Well, it turns out that everyone needs four skills to behave well. And we should focus on adopting these ourselves rather than forcing them upon our children. We’re their most important role models, after all, and they’ll mirror our behavior. The fours skills are: tolerating frustration, flexibility, problem solving and, empathy

Never see the child'  tantrums as a battle of wills.

As a new parent, it was so difficult to deal with children tantrums, finally discovered these tips and successfully implemented them. Enjoy.

This is a parenting book for people who don't buy parenting books With straight-talking advice from renowned Psychotherapist Philippa Perry, How to be a Parent is the definitive guide for any parent looking to navigate their past, avoid repeating their own parents' mistakes, and ensure they don't land their own kids in therapy. Through the combination of case studies, her own experiences as a parent, and therapeutic insight gained from a career spanning over 20 years, Perry tackles the wider issues of what it actually means to be a parent, rather than getting bogged down in the little details. This isn't a book about meeting developmental milestones, training your child to have enviable manners, or how to get the much idealised 'perfect' family, it's about creating functional relationships with your children so that they grow up feeling secure, knowing who they are and what they want - giving both them and you a shot at real happiness. Full of refreshing, sage and sane advice on the bigger picture of parenthood, How to be a Parent is the only book you'll ever really need to ensure you don't mess your kids up.

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More than 1.3 million copies sold worldwide! “A wonderful book”―Richard Osman “If you're determinedly not a self-help kind of reader (like me), make an exception for [this book]. And if you're not a parent, don't dismiss it. The message is one of non-judgmental kindness.”―Vogue (London)   How can we have better relationships? In this instant Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips in these pages. Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

Muhammad Sulaiman