Today more than ever, there’s no reason to assume any fit between the demands on your time, all the things you want to do, or feel you ought to do, and the amount of time available. Thanks to capitalism, technology and human ambition, these demands keep increasing, while your capacities remain largely fixed. The attempt to “get on top of everything” is doomed.The only viable solution is to make a shift: from a life spent trying not to neglect anything, to one spent proactively and consciously choosing what to neglect, in favour of what matters most.

There will always be too much to do

I’m indebted to the Jungian therapist James Hollis for the insight that major personal decisions should be made not by asking, “Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” We’re terrible at predicting what will make us happy: the question swiftly gets bogged down in our narrow preferences for security and control. But the enlargement question elicits a deeper, intuitive response. You tend to just know whether, say, leaving or remaining in a relationship or a job, though it might bring short-term comfort, would mean cheating yourself of growth.

Choose “enlargement” over happiness

It’s shocking to realise how readily we set aside even our greatest ambitions in life, merely to avoid easily tolerable levels of unpleasantness. You already know it won’t kill you to endure the mild agitation of getting back to work on an important creative project; initiating a difficult conversation with a colleague; asking someone out; or checking your bank balance – but you can waste years in avoidance nonetheless. (This is how social media platforms flourish: by providing an instantly available, compelling place to go at the first hint of unease.)

The capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a superpower

It’s possible, instead, to make a game of gradually increasing your capacity for discomfort, like weight training at the gym. When you expect that an action will be accompanied by feelings of irritability, anxiety or boredom, it’s usually possible to let that feeling arise and fade, while doing the action anyway. The rewards come so quickly, in terms of what you’ll accomplish, that it soon becomes the more appealing way to live.

Choose Disco

I spent a long time fixated on becoming hyper-productive before I finally started wondering why I was staking so much of my self-worth on my productivity levels. What I needed wasn’t another exciting productivity book, but to ask more uncomfortable questions instead.The broader point here is that it isn’t fun to confront whatever emotional experiences you’re avoiding – if it were, you wouldn’t avoid them – so the advice that could really help is likely to make you uncomfortable.

The advice you don’t want to hear is usually the advice you need

It’s wrong to say we live in especially uncertain times. The future is always uncertain

One good question to ask is what kind of practices strike you as intolerably cheesy or self-indulgent: gratitude journals, mindfulness meditation, seeing a therapist? That might mean they are worth pursuing. (I can say from personal experience that all three are worth it.) Oh, and be especially wary of celebrities offering advice in public forums: they probably pursued fame in an effort to fill an inner void, which tends not to work – so they are likely to be more troubled than you are.

One Good Question

As the ancient Greek and Roman Stoics understood, much of our suffering arises from attempting to control what is not in our control. And the main thing we try but fail to control is the future. We want to know, from our vantage point in the present, that things will be OK later on. But we never can.It’s freeing to grasp that no amount of fretting will ever alter this truth. It’s still useful to make plans. But do that with the awareness that a plan is only ever a present-moment statement of intent, not a lasso thrown around the future to bring it under control.

The future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it

You – unconfident, self-conscious, all-too-aware-of-your-flaws – potentially have as much to contribute to your field, or the world, as anyone else.Humanity is divided into two: on the one hand, those who are improvising their way through life, patching solutions together and putting out fires as they go, but deluding themselves otherwise; and on the other, those doing exactly the same, except that they know it. It’s infinitely better to be the latter (although too much “assertiveness training” consists of techniques for turning yourself into the former).

The solution to imposter syndrome is to see that you are one

If you’re prone to thinking you should be helping more, that’s probably a sign that you could afford to direct more energy to your idiosyncratic ambitions and enthusiasms. As the Buddhist teacher Susan Piver observes, it’s radical, at least for some of us, to ask how we’d enjoy spending an hour or day of discretionary time. And the irony is that you don’t actually serve anyone else by suppressing your true passions anyway. More often than not, by doing your thing – as opposed to what you think you ought to be doing – you kindle a fire that helps keep the rest of us warm.

Selflessness is overrated

And then, finally, there’s the one about knowing when something that’s meant a great deal to you – like writing this column – has reached its natural endpoint, and that the most creative choice would be to turn to what’s next. This is where you find me. Thank you for reading.

Know when to move on.

The writer and journalist Oliver Burkeman shares a few lessons from his time writing his "This column will change your life" for the Guardian.

After more than a decade of writing life-changing advice, I know when to move on. Here’s what else I learned

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

timemanagement

Time Management

Oliver Burkeman's last column: the eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life

But trying to do the right thing and the best thing is hard, don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Start with treating others how you would like to be treated, and you can progress from there

It Might Be Noble

Being the best version of ourselves

Finally, after years of thinking I was merely odd, I have a diagnosis: I'm a "precrastinator".We precrastinators don't put things off until the last minute (well, actually, in other moods, we do that, too, but never mind). Instead, we do things sooner than they really need to be done, even if it costs us more time and energy that way, simply for the feeling of having them over with. I sometimes worry that that'll be my epitaph: "He crossed a lot of items off his to-do list."

What Is A Precrastinator

In the experiment that inspired the term, US researchers gave participants the choice of carrying one of two heavy buckets to the end of an alleyway. One bucket was positioned closer to the finish line, but most people chose the other bucket – the one nearer to them – even though they had to carry it farther, which meant expending more effort. The reason, according to the study's authors, was that the task they'd been given weighed on their minds; they wanted rid of it. "By picking up the near bucket, they could check that task off their mental to-do lists more quickly than if they picked up

And yet those emails do need to be answered, living rooms do need tidying. The best solution I've discovered is to stick to a simple rule: don't clear the decks first, clear them second. If your job permits it, schedule a daily deck-clearing hour – but at 4.30pm, not 9am. Switch your weekends around so that chores get done last (but assign a specific time, otherwise they won't get done at all). And whenever you catch yourself thinking, "Let me just get these little things out of the way first", consider the possibility that you'd be better off not bothering. Some don't need doing at all, while

'The special danger of precrastination is that, unlike procrastination, it doesn't feel naughty,' says Oliver Burkeman

productivity

Productivity

problemsolving

Problem Solving

This column will change your life: precrastination

1 Exercise on a Monday night (nothing fun happens on a Monday night).2 On the fence about a purchase? Wait 72 hours before you buy it.3 Tip: the quickest supermarket queue is always behind the fullest trolley (greeting, paying and packing take longer than you think).4 Bring fruit to work. Bring fruit to bed!5 Consider going down to four days a week. It’s likely a disproportionate amount of your fifth day’s work is taxed anyway, so you’ll lose way less than a fifth of your take-home pay.6 Everyone has an emotional blind spot when they fight. Work out what yours is, and remember it.

1 to 6

7 Plant spring bulbs, even if they’re just in a pot.8 Send a voice note instead of a text; they sound like personal mini podcasts.9 Keep a bird feeder by a window, ideally the kitchen. It’ll pass the time when you’re washing up.10 Always bring ice to house parties (there’s never enough).11 Get the lighting right: turn off the overhead one, turn on lots of lamps (but turn off when you leave the room).12 Sharpen your knives.13 Feeling sluggish at work? Try the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/small-business-network/2017/aug/18/productive-at-work-neuroscientists-advice-multitasking">Pomodoro technique</a>: 25 minutes on, five-minute break, and repeat.

7 to 13

14 Buy a cheap blender and use it to finely chop onions (it saves on time and tears).15 Keep your children’s drawings and paintings. Put the best ones in frames.16 Set aside 10 minutes a day to do something you really enjoy – be it reading a book or playing Halo.17 Don’t be weird about how to stack the dishwasher.18 Reuse all plastic bags – even bread bags. Much of the packaging you can’t reuse can be taken to <a href="https://www.recyclenow.com/what-to-do-with/plastic-film">larger branches of supermarkets</a> for recycling.19 Take a photo of the tag you are given when leaving your coat in a cloakroom.

14 to 19

20 Can’t sleep? Try a relaxing soak with lavender bath oil before bed.21 Add the milk at least one minute after the tea has brewed.22 Laugh shamelessly at your own jokes.23 It might sound obvious, but a pint of water before bed after a big night avoids a clanger of a hanger.24 Start a Saturday morning with some classical music – it sets the tone for a calm weekend.25 Look closely.26 Set time limits for your apps. Just go to the settings on your smartphone and add a limit – for example, if you have an iPhone <a href="https://support.apple.com/en-gb/guide/iphone/aside/iph7e81fd7d8/15.0/ios/15.0">turn on Screen Time</a>.27 If possible, take the stairs.

20 to 27

28 Always be willing to miss the next train.29 Eat meat once a week, max. Ideally less.30 Be polite to rude strangers – it’s oddly thrilling.31 Ask questions, and listen to the answers.32 Connect with nature: stand outside barefoot for a few minutes – even when it’s cold.33 Join your local library – and use it. Find yours <a href="https://www.gov.uk/local-library-services">here</a>.34 Go for a walk without your phone.35 Eat salted butter (life’s too short for unsalted).36 Stretch in the morning. And maybe in the evening.

28 to 36

37 If you’re going less than a mile, walk or cycle. About half of car journeys are under two miles, yet these <a href="https://www.greenchoices.org/green-living/transport/car-use#:~:text=Don't%20use%20a%20car%20for%20shorter%20journeys.&text=72%25%20of%20journeys%20are%20under,%2C%2050%25%20under%202%20miles.&text=Very%20short%20journeys%20are%20too,really%20don't%20need%20it!">create more pollution</a> than longer journeys as the engine isn’t warmed up yet.38 Sleep with your phone in a different room (and buy an alarm clock).39 Send postcards from your holidays. Send them even if you’re not on holiday.40 Instead of buying new shoes, get old ones resoled and buy new laces.41 Buy a plant. Think you’ll kill it? Buy a fake one.42 Don’t have Twitter on your phone.43 If you find an item of clothing you love and are certain you will wear for ever, buy three.

37 to 43

44 Try taking a cold shower (30 seconds to two minutes) before your hot one. It’s good for your health – both physical and mental.45 Text to say thank you.46 Read a poem every day. Keep a compendium, such as <a href="https://guardianbookshop.com/a-poem-for-every-day-of-the-year-9781509860548">A Poem for Every Day of the Year</a>, by your bed.47 Take out your headphones when walking – listen to the world.48 Buy secondhand.49 Buy in person!50 Learn <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/dental-health/why-should-i-use-dental-floss/">how to floss properly.</a>51 If something in the world is making you angry, <a href="https://members.parliament.uk/">write (politely) to your MP</a> – they will read it.52 Say hello to your neighbours.53 Learn the basics of repairing your clothes.

44 to 53

54 Always bring something – wine, flowers – to a dinner/birthday party, even if they say not to.55 Learn the names of 10 trees.56 Call an old friend out of the blue.57 Every so often, search your email for the word “unsubscribe” and then use it on as many as you can.58 Buy a newspaper. (Ideally this one.)59 Always have dessert.60 Drop your shoulders.61 Make something from scratch. Works best if it’s something you’d normally buy, such as a dress or a bag.62 Go to bed earlier – but don’t take your phone with you.63 Volunteer. ​​Go to gov.uk/government/get-involved for ideas.

54 to 63

64 Dry your cutlery with a cloth (it keeps it shiny).65 Instead of buying a morning coffee, set up a daily transfer of £2 from a current into a savings account and forget about it. Use it to treat yourself to something different later.66 Don’t save things for “best”. Wear them – enjoy them.67 Sing!68 Think about your posture: don’t slouch, and don’t cross your legs.69 Hang your clothes up. Ideally on non-wire hangers (it’s better for them).70 Skinny-dip with friends.71 Switch your phone off on holiday (or at least delete your work email app).72 Always use freshly ground pepper.

64 to 72

73 Thank a teacher who changed your life.74 Respect your youngers.75 Keep your keys in the same place.76 Ditch the plastic cartons and find a milkman – <a href="https://themodernmilkman.co.uk/">The Modern Milkman</a> has a comprehensive list.77 Rent rather than buy a suit/dress for that forthcoming wedding (even if it’s your own).78 Always book an extra day off after a holiday.79 Ignore the algorithm – listen to music outside your usual taste.80 Mute or leave a WhatsApp group chat.81 Learn a TikTok dance (but don’t post it on TikTok).82 Cook something you’ve never attempted before.83 Join a local litter-picking group.

73 to 83

84 Handwash that thing you’ve never cleaned.85 Don’t get a pet/do get a pet.86 Nap.87 Learn how to breathe deeply: in through the nose, out through the mouth, making the exhale longer than the inhale.88 Buy a bike and use it. Learn how to fix it, too.89 Politely decline invitations if you don’t want to go.90 If you do go, have an exit strategy (can we recommend a French exit, where you slip out unseen).91 If in doubt, add cheese.92 Don’t look at your phone at dinner.93 Do that one thing you’ve been putting off.

84 to 93

94 Give compliments widely and freely.95 Set up an affordable standing order to a charity. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jul/29/rnli-donations-soar-in-response-to-farages-migrant-criticism">RNLI</a> and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/nov/27/successions-plot-twist-prompts-thousands-to-leave-money-to-greenpeace-in-their-wills">Greenpeace</a> spring to mind …96 Keep a book in your bag to avoid the temptation to doomscroll.97 Listen to the albums you loved as a teenager.98 Make a friend from a different generation.99 Staying over at a friend’s place? Strip the bed in the morning.100 For instant cheer, wear yellow.

94 to 100

Some quirky and fun ideas to brighten up your 2022, although there is a British slant on a few of them, I think there is something for everyone here. I've put my favourite ideas or ones I'd like to try this year in bold.

Whether it’s taking fruit to work (and to the bedroom!), being polite to rude strangers or taking up skinny-dipping, here’s a century of ways to make life better, with little effort involved …

health

Health

100 ways to slightly improve your life without really trying

Our days can feel like a crazy sea of distraction, stress, busyness and overwhelm.We can get lost in that sea, and it’s hard to figure out how to find mindfulness and focus in the middle of it all.The answer, I’ve repeatedly found, is in the pure elegance of simplicity.Simplify to find focus. Simplify to find peace. Simplify to find a way through the sea of chaos.Let’s look at some things you can do today to create the elegance of simplicity and focus in your life.

A Crazy Sea Of Distractio

The distraction of multitasking and technology can be hard to overcome. But it drains away our mindfulness, effectiveness, and life energy. So let’s do something about it.Let’s start with the phone. Put all apps into one folder. I call mine “uncertainty” to remind me that everything lives in uncertainty.Keep the homescreen clear. No tempting apps to click on. I use the search function to open an app, requiring myself to type in the name, which makes me think about what I’m doing.Shut off almost all notifications.Choose a simple and beautiful background to remind me to be mindful.

Simplify to Clear Distractions

Let’s move on to the computer, which has some similar steps (these instructions are for a Mac but Windows/Linux users could use similar ideas):Clear your desktop (put all files into one folder, or several). Put a nice wallpaper in the background.Clear the dock. Instead, use a search app to open apps, such as Alfred, Spotlight or Launchbar.Turn off most notifications.Single-task. Close all apps but the one(s) you’re using.

Simplify Your Computer

Single tab. Close everything else. If it’s important, throw it into a read-later service, bookmark it, or put it into your todo manager.Close your email program. When you open it, open with intention, and clear out the inbox as much as you can. Then close it.Use the Momentum add-on to keep yourself focused and mindful.I like single-tasking apps, at full screen, like Ommwriter, when I’m writing or doing other work outside of the browser.Simplifying your physical and digital workspaces will help you be less distracted, and more able to focus on a single task.

Simplify Your Browser

As much as possible, it’s best to focus on a single task at a time. With intention.That means, instead of constantly switching around, it’s best to pick one thing and set aside some time (10 minutes, half an hour, etc.) to focus on just that thing. If it’s important enough to take up your attention and time, it’s important enough to give it the space for complete focus.When you clear everything aside, before you dive fullbore into the task, ask yourself, “What is my intention here?”

Simplify Your Focus

Perhaps the intention is just to learn to focus better. Maybe it’s to push into discomfort and uncertainty. Maybe it’s to be mindful and joyful as you work. Whatever your intention, set it consciously. Then get started, with focus. Don’t let yourself do anything else, even if you feel the urge to switch. At least for 10 minutes. Simplify by setting intention and keeping your focus on one thing at a time, as much as you’re able. This is a practice, which means you won’t be perfect at it, but daily practice helps you get better.

Simplify Your Intention

As you narrow your focus on fewer things, simplify your workspace so that there are fewer distractions, and practice single-minded focus with intention … things start to change.It’s like the reverse of how the distraction of technology and social media changes our brains. Our brains seem to become calmer, more at peace, when we find joy in the elegance of simplicity.It’s the pure elegance of simplicity, and it is found in the paring down.

The Elegance of Simplicity

mindfulness

Mindfulness

Creating the Elegance of Simplicity & Focus in Your Work Day - zen habits

A wise man told me don't argue with fools. Cause people from a distance can't tell who is who.

Inspiring quotes

<ul><li>An increasing problem with our increasing distractions</li><li>Our attention span is less and less</li><li>More temptations than ever</li><li>Most people associate dopamine with pleasure</li><li>Dopamine is actually strongest in the anticipation of the reward</li><li>Have you ever achieved a goal and thought "is this all there is?"</li><li>It gives more juice to the old saying "it's not the destination it's the journey"</li></ul>

Dopamine Nation

<ul><li>Do gamblers get more pleasure when they lose or win?</li><li>A study in "Dopamine Nation", showed that gamblers secrete almost the same amounts of dopamine whether they win or they lose.</li><li>A phenomenon called 'loss chasing'</li><li>The chase to retrieve your losses are what makes it exciting</li><li>Maybe the urge for some to continually start from zero in the self-help world is akin to loss chasing</li></ul>

Loss chasing

<ul><li>Is someone doing eight gigs or one gig, what's going to get them further?</li><li>The best companies in the world all have one thing, e.g. KFC, Google, Starbucks</li><li>The goal of this book is to end multitasking</li><li>You feel like you can do two things at once but you actually can't</li><li>Doing too many things is the antithesis to productivity</li><li>Productivity is about focus</li><li>It's so much better to go after one thing</li></ul>

The One Thing

Focus is the absence of distractions

<ul><li>Something to be said about old school classics</li><li>They have so much wisdom that they had to think through</li><li>Be useful</li><li>Enthusiasm, zest and passion is when you come alive and do your best work</li></ul>

The Essential Writings Of Ralph Waldo Emerson

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well

<ul><li>Journalling is the number one thing Clark has done to grow as a human being</li><li>The self-improvement trap is that we consume content</li><li>Don't let education and bettering yourself become entertainment</li><li>Journalling allows you to apply what you've learnt and tailor it to you</li></ul>

Your Journal

<ul><li>You have 60,000 thoughts a day and a lot of them are not positive</li><li>Most people have what Michael Singer calls the 'inner roommate'</li><li>You're actually not the voice in your head</li><li>The fact you can notice your thoughts means the inner roommate is not you.</li><li>Become the observer of your thoughts and get on your own team</li></ul>

The Untethered Soul

Some inspirational reads for 2022 from YouTuber Clark Kegley.

Here are the 5 life-changing books you MUST read in 2022! Enjoy. Last year's top 5 books: https://youtu.be/zU7OgLjA5zk 🎯 Free Case Study - Discover ONE TOOL more powerful than manifestation, rewiring your subconscious mind, or the law of attraction. Click to watch now (no sign-up required) ➡ https://www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study 🌙 THE METAMORPHIC COACHING PROGRAM IS OPEN! Schedule a FREE consult to see if we're a good fit! (serious applicants only) ➡ https://bit.ly/METAMORPHIC Follow Me On IG/ Tik Tok: ➡ @clarkkegley

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

Here are the 5 life-changing books you MUST read in 2023! Enjoy.

Ready to change your life? Work directly with me & my team to create the 2.0 you in under 10 weeks. APPLY HERE: https://www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study?sl=yt-5-books-3

Last year's top 5 books: https://youtu.be/zU7OgLjA5zk

  
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Follow Me On IG/ Tik Tok: 
➡ @clarkkegley

Helping you create the 2.0 version of you

Clark Kegley

5 Life-changing books YOU MUST READ in 2023

5 Life-changing books YOU MUST READ in 2022

The basic idea is to firewall processing as a discrete phase you go through no more than every hour or two at the most. For God’s sake, don’t live in your Inbox if there’s any way you can avoid it.

How I process my email Inbox

Processing determines as quickly as possible what, if anything, to do with each piece (in ascending order of urgency and importance):<ul><li>delete it</li><li>archive it</li><li>defer it for (a) later response</li><li>generate an action from it</li><li>respond to it immediately (if it—literally—will take less than 2 minutes or is so Earth-shattering that it just can’t wait)</li></ul>

Processing

Then as often as time allows, I return to the response and action folders and crank through as many replies and complete (or generate) as many todos as I can—usually in 5-email sprints.The critical point, as ever, is to focus on action and not on the administration and housekeeping. If the action is just a response, respond. If it requires more than a return email, either do it or get it in your “next actions” and keep moving.

Focus on action

“You have to remember you’re in the business of making sandwiches—not deciding the prettiest way to stack the customers’ orders.”

An email auto-check set for every minute means 60 potential distractions every hour, or almost 500 per day. Look back at a week of your emails and ask yourself: how many distractions was that really worth? How much crucial, instantly actionable email did I receive to make it worth shifting my attention over 2000 times?

Shifting attention

Follow-up to the email productivity post. Short overview of how I process my inbox. read&nbsp;more&nbsp;&raquo;

teamwork

Teamwork

Quick tips on processing your email inbox

Often we think about cutting down on what we buy because we’d like to be frugal, and save money. And I’m all for that. But there’s more to buying less. Way more. The cost of purchasing an item just scratches the surface. When we buy something, we are taking it into our homes, our lives, and we are taking on the life of another object in this world.

An object isn’t born in the store. It is born in the woods (if it is wood), in the mines (if it’s metal), in the depths of the world (in the case of petroleum-based products such as plastics, synthetic textiles and such), or perhaps all three places and more if it’s a combination of materials. It’s born when those natural resources are mined or harvested (at great cost and great cost to the environment), and then hauled to a factory somewhere, a factory that pollutes, inevitably. It’s shaped and shifted into its final form (often in various factories), then shipped to various

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

» the true cost of stuff mnmlist

On the path of mastery you have four powerful allies: The power of momentum: steady wins the race. The power of completion: clear out your undones and incompletes. The power of reflection: facing the man or woman in the mirror. The power of celebration: catch yourself doing something right.

Oliver Burkeman's last column: the eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life

Being the best version of ourselves

This column will change your life: precrastination

100 ways to slightly improve your life without really trying

Creating the Elegance of Simplicity & Focus in Your Work Day - zen habits

Patrick Smith