So, pay attention to <a href="https://nickwignall.com/negative-self-talk/">your own self-talk </a>when someone you care about is very emotional. How are you thinking about their emotion to yourself? Try to catch and hold back on thoughts like: <ul><li>Don't they see this isn't doing them any good! </li><li>If only they knew how much they impacted other people, they'd never be like this. </li> </ul>And instead, substitute more curiosity-driven questions:

By mirroring another person's experience you're giving them something far more valuable than advice-you're giving them genuine connection. One of the hardest things about other people's bad moods is the emotions they tend to stir up in us: <ul><li>Our spouse is sad and melancholic and we get frustrated. </li><li>Our boss is anxious and overbearing and which makes us feel anxious too. </li><li>Our parent is angry and irritable, and we respond with annoyance and sarcasm. </li> </ul>The trouble is, once we're deep into a spiral of our own negative emotion, it's hard to have enough mental and emotional bandwidth to navigate our own mood and that of someone else. This is why we often react to other people's bad moods in a way that ultimately isn't helpful to them, us, or the relationship.

When you stop expecting to be able to make someone feel better, you can start taking real steps to connect with them in a heartfelt way and become genuinely supportive. Bad moods and painful emotions are hard to handle, both in ourselves but also in the people we work and live with. While it's not possible to "fix" another person's emotional struggles, there are a handful of practical skills you can learn to help you be more genuinely supportive and helpful in the face of other people's bad moods.

Here's a question I get asked a lot as a therapist: How do you sit there and listen to people's problems all day? Don't you get depressed? To be honest, not really. You might imagine all that sadness, frustration, anxiety, and shame my clients tell me about would start to rub off on a guy after a while.

How to Handle Other People's Bad Moods Like a Pro

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