First of all, you need to know: WHO is the right person?We aren't all looking for the same character traits. The "right person" is usually someone who not only compliments but complements us.In the following, I will elaborate two very different matches, debunk what actually matters for a successful relationship and give key questions to identify who you are actually looking for.You may skip the examples and jump right to 3, especially 4 if you don't have time.

How To Find The Right Person

Very emphasised these days: independence. After all, who would like to be dependent on someone.The combination strong, independent woman + strong, independent man will become more and more common.A strong and independent person will do pretty well as a single too. Because they don't want to marry a bunch of weaknesses, they will probably look for someone just as independent.

1 Strong And Independent

They aren't especially two puzzle pieces that match but two travellers with the same goal.They probably share similar values, like loving to enhance all different competences, staying strong, liable, being able to live alone, taking responsibility and being no burden to no one, especially not oneself. Avoiding all these little "skill issues".They appreciate their independency and cherish the fact that if one falls sick the other will always be capable of helping. They take turns with the tasks instead of assigning them specifically. Taking turns means half the stress, what a wonderful marriage.

How Does That Work?

Let's take the most extreme example for the second one: One person wants to marry a bank, the other a servant.I know a married couple personally that is a perfect example of this case.

2 Bank + Servant

The husband has its own business, works long hours a day and earns a lot. Consequently, he has less time to do all the housework and in this case isn't even able to cook.He wants someone who takes care of the household and cooks for him daily. Furthermore, he'd love to be the leader, the one making the final decisions, as he is used to in his company. He wants someone who obeys him.

Bank

The wife is someone from the countryside. She came from a poor background, has always had to take care of all her family members. She grew up to be hard-working. With little education though, she could never manage to get a such well-paid job to support all of her family.She is looking for someone who can give her financial stability, a secure home and is kind enough to help her parents and brother too.

Maid

They found each other and are happily married with two children and a dog.The husband regulates all the finances and generally is the boss in the house. The wife takes care of laundry, cleaning, cooking and the children, while he helps with their education and school. He has time for his work and fitness and she has enough money to send to her family. (Her father is even battling with cancer, you can imagine what his treatment costs.)They are btw. 14 years apart.Sounds like a typical gold-digger-story? Well I can assure you, in their case, it is true love as well.

Outcome Bank + Servant

Girls might be a bit more critical about this, but don't we all want to be together with someone beautiful?I have noticed that the beauty of the two people in a couple is very often at about the same level. An explanation would be that we set our standards based on our perception of our own beauty. Fun fact: If two people have spent enough time together they even look alike.And btw.: Just because someone is pretty, doesn't mean they are a cheater. It is true that the temptation might be higher, but whether they are loyal or not only depends on their personality.

3 Does Appearance Matter?

However, a beautiful partner can be bought. If any rich person is just looking for a beautiful partner, there will be enough people who would agree on the relationship just for money.There are plenty of examples where the rich one isn't as beautiful as the "bought" partner.As long as both know what they are agreeing on, this too will be a matching (and not long-lasting) relationship. On the contrary, some people aren't attracted to marvellous-looking people, most actually prefer the average-looking. It gives them a feeling of comfort and safety.

3.1 Exceptions

Well, yeah, of course it does.We all wish for a flawless togetherness. No misunderstandings, no arguments, but happiness, fun, understanding and wonderful memories.All of this is heavily influenced by our personality.Let's talk about IQ, EQ, and the typical categories of the MBTI-test.

4 Does Personality Matter?

If you have a similar IQ, you will...<ul><li>be able to laugh at the same jokes</li><li>talk about the same topics</li><li>share interests</li><li>have a similar perspective</li></ul>and overall understand each other better.

4.1 IQ

If you have a high EQ, you will...<ul><li>avoid useless fights</li><li>have a better communication with each other</li><li>prevent unnecessary provocations</li><li>have fewer enemies </li></ul>and overall have less struggles with people. If you don't have a high EQ, learn about people's way of thinking, work on your communication skills and practice mindfulness.

4.2 EQ

Extroverted or Introverted?As an introvert: Would you like to have someone else do the talking (to strangers), providing energy, helping you overcome your shyness etc.or someone who knows how it feels, someone to warm up to and who appreciates time alone as well?As an extrovert: Would you like to have someone who enjoys spending all day with people, having lots of energy and likes talking and going outor someone who you can take care of, support, who knows how to live in happiness quietly, who does not often have the same energy level but with time develops trust and opens up to you?

4.3 Extroverted - Introverted

Do you want someone focussing on the meaning of things, very curious, sparking with (sometimes unrealistic) ideas and dreams (often optimistic)or someone who is down to earth, with reasonable ideas and arguments and has a realistic path in mind?

4.4 Intuitive - Sensing

Do you want someone compassionate, sensitive, empathetic, showing their variety of emotions, extremely lovingor someone logical, rational, not overreacting, with justified perspectives and often caught up in interesting topics/thoughts?

4.5 Feeling - Thinking

Judging in this case doesn't mean judgemental and perceiving ≠ perception btw.Do you want someone sticking to plans and routines, loving order, making to-do lists (getting things done)or someone who is more spontaneous and flexible?

4.6 Judging - Perceiving

I'm amazed if you've got this far. All of the above are of course my own ideas, thoughts and conclusions based on my perception.Please share/comment if you have experienced something different or have other insights!Thank you for reading.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mindfulness

Mindfulness

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Who is the right person?

“A cent that doubles daily for a month will be more than getting 1 million euros today.”An example showing us the importance of<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">looking at information closely</li><li class="ql-align-justify">having a long-term vision</li><li class="ql-align-justify">not underestimating small values</li></ul> “Appreciate the small things in life”A phrase telling us to<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">be attentive and grateful</li><li class="ql-align-justify">not take anything as granted</li><li class="ql-align-justify">not forget things though seeming less important</li></ul> Both quotes have one thing in common:They draw attention to the value of little things.

Values

Be thankfulAppreciate the people who are helping, supporting and working with you all along the way.Those doing you small favors frequently show real loyalty. Show your thankfulness1. Make saying “thank you” one of your habits2. Add a “for” to emphasize that your thanking is sincere

Appreciation 

Even a short “thanks” to a person holding the door open, letting you exit the bus or handing you something can make your as well as their day better.We are social creatures and exchanging a few words already has the ability to improve our day and the ability to make uscome across as likeable,overcome shyness,gain courageand develop confidence.

Power of Thanking People

I believe that it is important to not forget about all the little moments of happiness due to small acts of kind people. Cherish them.

Who is the right person?

Gratefulness: Unveiling the Power of Appreciation in Everyday Life

Veronica Hofmann