Setting Boundaries - Deepstash

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Navigating Boundaries

Navigating Boundaries

The byproduct of someone not respecting or acknowledging your boundaries is the emergence of anger and resentment.

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27 reads

Conformist And Boundaries

Conformist And Boundaries

A Conformist type of boundary setter believes that their boundaries need to be communicated perfectly and effectively in order to be understood - but this is incorrect. Boundaries can be imperfectly communicated and reinforced where necessary.

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9 reads

By communicating your boundaries imperfectly:

By communicating your boundaries imperfectly, you give others the space to make mistakes and adjust.

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7 reads

By acknowledging the implicit:

By acknowledging the implicit:

By acknowledging the implicit, it becomes explicit, holding the power to change the scripts you tell yourself.

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“We can say what we need to say. We can gently but assertively speak our mind. We do not need to be judgemental, tactless, blaming or cruel when we speak our truths”

MELODY BEATTIE

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<p>We do not have control over...

We do not have control over what thoughts come into our mind or what feelings we experience. We can only give space and accept these thoughts and feelings as they are.

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Reacting To Boundaries

When enforcing your boundaries, you are not responsible for how other people react to your boundaries.

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6 reads

Enforcing Boundaries

If someone reacts negatively to the boundaries you have enforced, it does not mean your boundary was wrong.

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4 reads

Setting A Boundary

Setting A Boundary

  1. If you …….
  2. I will ……..
  3. and if it continues, I will …….

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3 reads

Different Boundary Strengths

Different Boundary Strengths

You can adjust the strength of your boundaries as permeable, flexible, fixed or rigid.

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3 reads

Enforcing Boundaries

Enforcing Boundaries

When enforcing your boundaries you are not required to justify yourself or over explain and have the right to say no. You also cannot expect automatic compliance from other people, and requires maintenance.

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3 reads

Boundary V Threat

Boundary V Threat

Setting a boundary is not the same as making a threat

Boundary: “I can’t stay in the marriage or live with you when your addiction is not managed. If you don’t stop abusing alcohol, I will love out and start divorce proceedings”

Threat: “If you divorce me, I will make sure you never see the kids again”

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Boundaries draw a circle around you so that you feel safe to be yourself

REBECCA RAY

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2 reads

Communicate, Enforce, Maintain

Communicate, Enforce, Maintain

It is your responsible to constantly communicate, enforce and maintain your boundaries.

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1 read

Consent

Consent

The popular metaphor uses a person’s desire for a cup of tea as an example of consent

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Circles Of Intimacy And Influence

Circles Of Intimacy And Influence

In life, people fall in different circles of intimacy and influence, depending on how close we are to them. These circles range from the closest inner circle to the outer circle. The closer we feel to someone, the closer they are to our inner circle.

As we trust and respect someone, they move towards our inner circle of intimacy. The people in this inner circle are our closest friends and family, while those in the outer circle are acquaintances or strangers. It's essential to understand the different levels of intimacy and influence to build and maintain strong relationships.

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You don’t own their feelings. When loved ones want the best for us, it can result in their projections of fear. Be mindful of sharing your hopes and dreams with people who lead from a place of fear, otherwise any self-doubt you experience will be intensified and you risk being thrown from your path”

REBECCA RAY

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2 reads

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