Breaking the Silence: Insights on Domestic Violence and Healing

According to the Duluth Model, the more subtle behaviors listed above are thought by many to possibly allow the abuser to maintain power and control in the relationship. Additionally, they may reinforce the regular use of these behaviors in tandem with violence.

Often, those who have experienced or are experiencing domestic violence might feel alone or trapped in their situation. For some, it can be challenging to recognize actions as domestic violence—which can complicate one’s vision of a happy, calm and safe experience in one’s relationships.

We do want to note that while domestic violence campaigns and quotes may be written with those who identify as women in mind, many people of any gender, orientation, and age might find themselves in unsafe or unhealthy situations. Domestic violence can look different in different situations, including across cultures. Understanding the range of experiences that many may have survived (or are currently surviving) can lead to a more empathetic and supportive society.

Some might describe abusive relationships as following a cycle. However, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the "cycle of abuse" can make domestic violence sound predictable when it rarely is. Many experts believe that the Power and Control Wheel from the Duluth model may be a more accurate way of describing abuse.

The Power and Control Wheel is thought by many to list many of the more common tactics used by an abuser to maintain control in a domestic violence situation. While no diagram is generally likely to summarize the complexities of all domestic violence, the following tactics may be helpful when examining abusive behavior:

Evaluating the role of privilege throughout the situational context

Evaluating the possibility of economic abuse

Evaluating the possibility of child exploitation

Considering the presence or absence of instances where coercion and threats were used

Considering the presence or absence of instances where intimidation was used

Considering the presence or absence of instances where emotional abuse occurred

Considering the presence or absence of instances where isolation-related abuse occurred

Considering the presence or absence of instances where minimizing, denying and blaming occurred.