Kyo 's Key Ideas from Friendship
by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson elaborates on the unspoken bond that draws people together, even strangers, creating affection and a sense of unity. These relationships not only bring happiness but also inspire individuals to act and think virtuously.

For instance, friendships motivate good behavior, like making a positive first impression, or encourage intellectual growth, such as when a researcher uses correspondence with a friend to work through a problem.

However, friendship cannot be forced; it arises naturally. Emerson emphasizes that friends are those who perceive in one another the divine essence that animates nature. True friendships might emerge unexpectedly and may not conform to societal expectations.

Emerson insists that the rules of friendship are austere and eternal. He maintains that friends should not become too close, recognizing the infinite distance that separates individuals from the rest of the world. Friendship, according to Emerson, is not about superficial pleasures but about profound connections between minds.

True friendship, Emerson argues, requires sincerity a complete honesty akin to being alone with oneself and tenderness, a genuine bond untainted by politeness or societal expectations. This form of friendship is rare because it demands a delicate balance of similarity and difference, fostering both natural affinity and a sense of awe or respect for a friend as an independent, equal individual.

Deep conversations between friends may lead to a merging of souls, but they can also reveal the myriad particularities that make individuals distinct. Like a gemstone that must be viewed at a distance to appreciate its beauty, a friend must also be respected as a separate, complex being. Such a friendship transcends mere pleasure or profit, offering companionship on life’s journey.

Emerson compares his true friends to books that he reads deeply and then sets aside, revisiting them occasionally. This approach allows him to cherish the company of great individuals while also focusing on living his own life fully. He concludes the essay by describing friendship as an act of total generosity and magnanimity. Emerson encourages readers to embrace genuine friendship as something that can elevate both themselves and their friends, ultimately bringing divine qualities to their lives.