The Psychology of Love: Secrets, Styles, and Surprising Truths.

John Lee identified three primary love styles:

Eros (Romantic, Passionate Love): Rooted in physical attraction and intense emotions.

Ludus (Playful Love): Love as a game, often without deep commitment.

Storge (Companionate Love): Love built on friendship and mutual respect.

Interestingly, Lee described situationships long before they became a trend, recognizing them as a form of love without commitment—a connection driven by affection but lacking defined boundaries.

Robert Sternberg’s model proposes that love is made up of three components:

Intimacy: Emotional closeness and bonding.

Passion: Physical and sexual attraction.

Commitment: The decision to maintain a relationship over time.

The balance of these three components changes the status of a relationship. For example:

• Intimacy + Passion = Romantic Love
• Intimacy + Commitment = Companionate Love
• Passion + Commitment = Fatuous Love

Hazan and Shaver studied how our early relationships with caregivers shape our love. We may unconsciously look for traits of our parents in our partners, which affects our attachment styles:

• 🔒 Secure: Comfortable with love and alone time
• ❣️ Anxious: Wanting closeness but scared of rejection
• 🚪 Avoidant: Keeping distance to stay safe

This theory shows how our past influences our present love choices.

• Love Can Reduce Cancer Risk: Studies with mice models have demonstrated that love, or positive emotional bonds, can boost the immune system and reduce cancer progression.
• Love Is Regulated: Love isn’t always spontaneous or uncontrollable. Understanding this can aid in recovering from breakups and regaining emotional balance.

Love Can Happen Multiple Times: It’s possible to fall in love more than once. However, choosing to remain single while cherishing memories of a past love is a personal decision.

Love Helps in Heartbreak Recovery: Understanding the psychology of love and romance can improve relationships and aid psychologists in helping people navigate heartbreak and moving on.