Learn more about motivationandinspiration with this collection
How to make rational decisions
The role of biases in decision-making
The impact of social norms on decision-making
Unrealistic Expectations
In Indian society, people always expect their kids to shine at all walks of life. They always have this plan in their heads about what their kid is going to be when he/she grows up. Thus born is the stereotypical mindset where there’s always going to be a bright kid or as we Indians describe ‘Sharma Ji Ka Ladka’, who’ll be doing better than you. And then parents kind of like to rub that on you when you’re failing to keep up with that bright kid. So this actually is instilled in our parents or society from generations to generations.
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Parents aren't at Fault
Well don’t get me wrong, parents are not to blame for this. They just want their kid to be doing great at life. In some cases they want to give all things that their own parents couldn’t afford. And now that you are provided with everything you ask for, maybe that raises their expectations. Or maybe when they see that ‘Sharma Ji ka Ladka’ doing well, they want to hear all those praises in your favor too. There was this dialogue in the TVF web series ‘KOTA FACTORY’
Maa baap ke shayad decision galat ho sakte hai, lekin unki niyat kabhi galat nahi ho sakti.
Translation:
Parents may sometimes make bad decisions for you, but their intention is never wrong.
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Struggle of a Parent
This line exactly sums up why our parents can be wrong but still are not the ones to blame. Remember when parents are raising you since childhood, they are making sure to get it right too. They might not understand all the rules of parenting, but are trying to do the best for you. When you do well, it’s them who will proudly tell the world that you are they are kid. But when you go wrong, they might scold you, compare you with a lot many kids doing well, and yet support you however.
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The Real Culprit
So who is the one to blame for this constant pressure to compete or be on the top?
One word answer – Society.
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I don’t know who originally said this, but my best friend says this quite often:
" Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log! "
Translation:
" Biggest problem we worry about is what people think! "
UNKNOWN AUTHOR
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What people get wrong about being on the Top
Maybe that’s pressuring your parents too. And please don’t tell me you are never worried about what people think about you. We take this unnecessary obligation to impress everyone around in our society. It gives a sense of satisfaction. But that is where, your parents as well as you have it wrong. When you be on top, there’s a different pressure to maintain that. And the day you take the fall, all those praises will turn into insults.
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What Our Parents Need to Know
So if your parents are pressuring you to compete with ‘Sharma Ji ka Ladka’ then it’s you who has to assure them that you are not even part of that rat race. You have to let them know that you believe in your potential and you’ll be doing great in your own path. Mindsets won’t change unless you show them the big picture. And more than that there’s always going to be a 'Sharma Ji ka Ladka’ doing better than you. But it doesn’t really matter, for your goal is not to impress anyone but to make sure you’re getting better than your previous self. Your goal is not be where ‘Sharma Ji ka Ladka’ is but where your previous self hasn’t been(of-course progressively).
Therefore you owe nothing to anyone out there, but yourself. The only person you need to keep up with, is the better version of you.
PS: I MEAN NO OFFENSE TO ‘SHARMA JI OR UNKA LADKA’
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