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Feeling stuck in life? How to actually move forward
You have to admit, you’ve spent a lot of your life subconsciously belittling yourself. Thinking you’re not enough. Trying to be someone else. Someone who fits in.
But you’re at a point now where you’re seeing things differently. The real battle is always in your mind. And your mind is under your control, not the other way around.
Heal yourself by refusing to belittle yourself. Choose to take up a lot of positive space in your own life today. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings and emotions.
When times are tough, and some piece of you is chipped and broken, it’s easy to feel like everything – ALL of you – is broken along with it. But that’s not true.
We all have this picture in our minds of ourselves – this idea of what kind of person we are. When this idea gets even slightly harmed or threatened, we tend to react defensively and irrationally.
The truth is, no one wins a game of chess by only moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. And this is a perfect metaphor for life.
Sometimes when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign that you’re not on the right path.
First things first, you have to let go of how you thought things were “supposed” to go. This is key to learning to let things go.
Holding onto “could’ve” “should’ve” and “would’ve” is really not beneficial to you at all.
Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on what you want right now. The past is irrelevant. What matters is the now.
Do what you want now – what brings you pleasure, what fulfills your desires, what brings you closer to your goal. If you don’t know how to let go, you don’t know how to live your best life.
Before you completely move forward from your past, see what you can learn from it. There are always lessons to be learned from the things that happen to us in life. Instead of looking back at the past and just moping about it, look at it objectively.
Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this situation and how have I become stronger?” This will give you insights into how the situation actually happened for you and made you stronger as a person. Writing down this information in a journal can help you slow down and process your thoughts, and this is a great tool for learning how to let go.
Research has found that 50 percent of happiness comes from our genes, while 40 percent comes from our daily thoughts and actions. That leaves only 10 percent from our actual life circumstances.
Having more doesn’t mean you’ll be happier. There will always be someone with more of what you want, and that person isn’t necessarily happy.
Instead of ruminating about how this or that could be better, practice thankfulness. Remember to be grateful for what you have as you travel your own journey.
You act only based on all the information you have at the time. But sometimes, circumstances change so that when you look back, it seems like you should have made a different decision.
Stop being so hard on yourself. Based on your current situation at the time, you picked the best choice amongst others. Even today, you don’t know what the future holds in store and you’ll likely make choices depending on what your situation is like right now.
People like to time travel in their heads. When we were kids, we would wish that we were grown-ups already. And when we become adults? Well, you know the answer.
Time travel happens all throughout our lives. When people are bored at work, they think about sitting at home watching TV. When they watch TV at home, they worry about work.
We end up wishing we had savored more of our time as it was. So instead, we should focus our time on being, rather than wishing. Take a moment right now, and enjoy the moment you are in.
Too often, people think it’s as easy as moving on, but this is one of the many myths about grief. Rather than move on from our grief, we must instead find ways to move forward with it.
"Grief is this multitasking emotion... you can and will be sad, and happy; you'll be grieving, and able to love in the same year or week... . We need to remember that a grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again… they're going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on" said Nora McInerny in her candid TED Talk about life and death.
Following the loss of a loved one, it’s important to remember the grieving process has no set timeline. We don’t just grieve the moment they pass and move on. Instead, we grieve the past and present. We grieve what could have been the future. This is because our loved one is more than just one moment in time.
While there’s no right or wrong way to grieve your loss, there are healthy ways to cope, including:
Have you heard the phrase, “Time heals all wounds?” Some people believe this phrase is a catchall for grief—that in time, the anger, depression, guilt or regret will just go away. This is simply not true. The point here is that not all wounds are meant to heal with time.
It hurts to lose someone we love. That loss shapes and defines who we are, and it never really goes away. Instead, we carry it with us as we move forward into the next chapter of our lives, and what helps us heal is what we do with our time after they’ve passed.
Whether it’s finishing a project your loved one was working on or v
Before you can move on from a relationship, you’ll need to give yourself however much time and space is necessary to get to a place of acceptance.
Maybe one day the two of you can be friends again, but now is not the time. Your heart is still freshly wounded and seeing or contacting him will only make things worse. Keeping your distance is vital for the healing process to not only begin but to become complete.
In the beginning, you’ll probably need to get everything off your chest by talking about the breakup with friends and relatives. That’s healthy. Go ahead and get it all out. Bottling up emotions is not conducive to moving on, and can be downright unhealthy.
.Once you’ve let it all out, try to stop talking about him. If you don’t, your friends may start avoiding your company. Talk about something else – or better yet, let your friends talk instead. They might not say so, but they’ll welcome the reprieve.
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