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Boost Your Emotional Intelligence
A set of sources that will help you recognize, understand and manage your emotions
Self-Regulation
People who self-regulate think before they act, have the ability to say no and shift their thoughts to prevent their emotions from controlling them.
By learning to control and manage your emotions, especially your impulses, you are able to prepare yourself for emotional self-management.
Motivation
Willing to defer immediate results to establish long-term success, emotionally intelligent people are generally characterized as motivated. They are motivated to look at a problem and find a resolution in a calm and rational way. When it comes to their careers, motivation drives emotionally intelligent people to be more productive and passionate about succeeding.
Social Skills
Being able to talk easily and connect with others. Being socially responsible demonstrates that you really care about others and not just about your own personal gain.
Having a high emotional intelligence gives you the social skills to manage the emotions of others too.
Challenging our assumptions
We often make assumptions about others based on the way they look.
The person who may seem unsociable and grumpy may not be that way at all. But we can only find that out once we make an effort to reach out and talk to him or her.
Increasing our listening skills
The best way to talk to strangers is to ask for their opinion on a matter. People love expressing their views. We can then focus our attention on what they say and use it to discover further what they think.
Asking open-ended questions is the key to developing this type of communication.
Moving out of our comfort zone
The more challenging we find it to talk to strangers, the more we will grow in that area when we take action, and the easier it will become.
When we challenge ourselves and move out of our comfort zone, we experience personal growth.
What Emotional Fitness is
It's the idea that in order to lead healthy, happy emotional lives we need consistent habits and exercises that support our mental health and wellbeing.
The Benefits of Emotional Fitness
- Decreased stress: you learn to manage your triggers.
- Better communication in relationships: it helps you to tolerate and manage difficult emotions and then find more productive ways to work through difficulties.
- Decreased anxiety: you train your mind to stop fearing its own emotional reactions.
- You stick with your goals: you learn to deal with emotions like anxiety, shame, regret.
- Increased self-awareness: you learn to build a better relationship with your emotions.
Get to know your emotions
- Emotional clarity: Taking the time to deliberately reflect on our emotions, to observe and label them.
- Emotional myth-busting: Eliminating myths and misconceptions floating around people’s minds about emotions.
- Emotional tolerance: Learning to resist short-term gratification and instead invest in long-term values.
A Zen Parable
There was a man riding on a horse. When a man walking on the road asks him where he is going, the rider replies, “Why are you asking me? You should ask the horse.”
The horse represents our emotional lives. We let the 'horse' take us to where it wants it to take us, especially if we feel afraid, nervous, etc. But little did we know that we have control. You begin to have influence on your horse once you master your emotions.
Emotional Intelligence
The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. -Salovey and Mayer (1990)
Emotional Mastery
It manifests itself in the kind of statements we make about ourselves, in relation to our emotional skills and success.
Qualities such as confidence, awareness and optimism, come under the umbrella of emotional intelligence.
Emotions
The one who can master the emotions can master actions and the one who masters actions is the master of all future realities.
Now we look at the stories of 2 different men, 2 different world views, 2 different goals and ultimately, 2 different paths.
This is Alexander
He believes that there are two kinds of people in the world: the conquerors and the conquered.
Alexander read a lot as a kid.
He fell in love with Greek heroes who displayed the highest virtues: courage and bravery. They were leaders — not followers.
He didn’t have much as a kid and had to work hard for everything he had.
This led him to believe that a person's life is the outcome of their actions.
There’s no one he wanted to conquer more than himself, each and every day.
One day, Alexander encountered a homeless man.
The man asked him for some change.
Alexander knew what he was seeing: a conquered man.
How could this man let himself be conquered so badly?
How many mistakes must he have made to end up in this position?
Why doesn’t he take steps to dig himself out of this hole?
Instead, he's taking the lazy way out, trying to take from those who worked hard for what they have.
“This man won’t get a penny from me”,
he thought to himself, By suffering he’ll learn or he’ll die; that’s the way the world works.”
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