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"Who Am I?": The Ultimate Guide to Personal Values

Some personal values are better than others

Some personal values are better than others

Good values are:

  • Evidence-based
  • Constructive
  • Controllable

Bad values are:

  • Emotion-based
  • Destructive
  • Uncontrollable

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

"Who Am I?": The Ultimate Guide to Personal Values

"Who Am I?": The Ultimate Guide to Personal Values

https://markmanson.net/personal-values

markmanson.net

5

Key Ideas

Values trump your definition of success

Achieving success in life is not nearly as important as your definition of success. 
If your definition of success is horrificthen working harder, setting and achieving goals, and disciplining your mind all becomes a bad thing. You cannot talk about self-improvement without also defining your values that accompany it. 

Defining your personal values

Your values are extensions of yourselves. They are what define you.

Many state the values they wish they had as a way to cover up the values they actually have. Instead of facing who they really are, they lose themselves in who they wish to become.

You are what you value

Values are the fundamental component of our psychological make-up and our identity. 

We are defined by what we choose to find important in our lives. We are defined by our prioritizations. If money matters more than anything, then that will come to define who we are.

Some personal values are better than others

Good values are:

  • Evidence-based
  • Constructive
  • Controllable

Bad values are:

  • Emotion-based
  • Destructive
  • Uncontrollable

How to Reinvent Yourself

  • We must have the self-awareness to recognize that our values have failed. Losing a value feels as though we’re losing a part of ourselves. We resist that failure. We explain it away and deny it.
  • Question the value and brainstorm what values could do a better job. 
  • Live the new value. New values have to be lived and experienced to stick.
  • Reap the benefits of the new value.  You will be left with a wonderful sense of relief, and a newer, deeper understanding of who you really are.

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Create meaningful core values
  1. Start with a beginner’s mind, someone with no preconceived notions of what is.
  2. Create your list of personal values. 
  3. Chunk your personal values into related groups. 
  4. Highlight the central theme of each value group. 
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  6. Give your personal values richer context. Highlight values into memorable phrases or sentences.
  7. Test the ecology of each value. Review your list a day later: Are they personal to you? Do you see any values that feel inconsistent?

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