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"Who Am I?": The Ultimate Guide to Personal Values
Some personal values are better than others
Good values are:
- Evidence-based
- Constructive
- Controllable
Bad values are:
- Emotion-based
- Destructive
- Uncontrollable
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Values trump your definition of success
Achieving success in life is not nearly as important as your definition of success.
If your definition of success is horrific, then working harder, setting and achieving goals, and disciplining your mind all becomes a bad thing. You cannot talk about self-improvement without also defining your values that accompany it.
Defining your personal values
Your values are extensions of yourselves. They are what define you.
Many state the values they wish they had as a way to cover up the values they actually have. Instead of facing who they really are, they lose themselves in who they wish to become.
You are what you value
Values are the fundamental component of our psychological make-up and our identity.
We are defined by what we choose to find important in our lives. We are defined by our prioritizations. If money matters more than anything, then that will come to define who we are.
Some personal values are better than others
Good values are:
- Evidence-based
- Constructive
- Controllable
Bad values are:
- Emotion-based
- Destructive
- Uncontrollable
How to Reinvent Yourself
- We must have the self-awareness to recognize that our values have failed. Losing a value feels as though we’re losing a part of ourselves. We resist that failure. We explain it away and deny it.
- Question the value and brainstorm what values could do a better job.
- Live the new value. New values have to be lived and experienced to stick.
- Reap the benefits of the new value. You will be left with a wonderful sense of relief, and a newer, deeper understanding of who you really are.
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Create meaningful core values
- Start with a beginner’s mind, someone with no preconceived notions of what is.
- Create your list of personal values.
- Chunk your personal values into related groups.
- Highlight the central theme of each value group.
- Determine your top Personal Core Values. Whittle your list down to 5 - 10 core values and rank them in order of importance.
- Give your personal values richer context. Highlight values into memorable phrases or sentences.
- Test the ecology of each value. Review your list a day later: Are they personal to you? Do you see any values that feel inconsistent?
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Learning to set healthy personal boundaries
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