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Is praising good?

It is obvious that you shouldn't rebuke anyone but the same is true for praising. Praising undermines one's ability. Let me explain that. What would a wife say to her kid for helping her clean the dishes? She would say "good job" or "great work". What would she say to her husband for doing the same? "good job"? NO. She would be saying "thank you". You know why?

Because the husband has the ability to clean the dishes, the kid doesn't. So indirectly when you say good job to someone, you indirectly mean that (S)he didn't have the ability to do that.

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MORE IDEAS ON THIS

Somethings about IRs

Interpersonal Relationships are horizontal, not vertical. The boss, teacher, parents are not above you; you all are in the same plane. The goal of IRs is to get a Community Feeling.

3 stes for getting comm...

969

3.92K reads

Happiness and Self-worth

What's happiness?

Happiness is the feeling of contribution. The contribution need not be visible. (You do not need to brag for you have written a famous article, for Achievements.)

worth = how much contribution you did.

951

3.23K reads

Meaning of life

Life is meaningless. Period.

You can give meaning to it. A grandpa even after being harmed by terrorists, has confidence in others. You give meaning to life. You can do that by following the north star. What's the north star?

Contribution to others. ...

933

3.28K reads

Deny the Desire For Recognition

You may have the desire to be known, to be famous right? Suppose you clean up the road daily, and no one even sees you, no one praises you. What do you do? You stop? So didn't you make your task to rest because of others. That's the problem. If no one stops me, I will do the wrong thing. ...

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Choose freedom

What is freedom?

Freedom is the courage to be disliked by others.

Oh that person just stared you because you were wearing a weird T-shirt, So what? That person dislikes you because you just did what he doesn't like but you do, so what?

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Learn to not care

Learn to sperate the tasks.

  1. Do not care what people think of you. Thinking about you is their task. Your task is to be what you are. Do not act according to people. Wear what you want. eat what you want, go where you want.
  2. Do not interrupt in others' tasks. All...

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Some other abstract ideas

  • Your present is not decided by the past.
  • Emotions don't just burst out. Every emotion is controllable.
  • All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.
  • Seperation of tasks works in parenting too. So, do not interfere in your child's homeworks. Just make him unde...

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Do not work for praise

If you are someone who wants to be praised, means you have DFR. which means you life TOO is run by others.

 Do not try be a 'special' being. There are 2 'special' beings- excelling, dumbs. They both are doing what they do becuase they are treated as 'special'. Excelling want praise, dumb wa...

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Good listening

Good listening doesn't follow a technique as much as being willing to enter into another person's life.

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