• Don't let others dictate your behavior. Choose your responses to situations rather than reacting to them.
  
• Don't let others dictate your attitude. You can control your attitudes, responses and actions, but little else.
• Don't let others devalue your sense of self. The act of comparison can lead to internal conflict and lack of self-confidence.

Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.