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Social Proximity Effect: Your Friends' Habits Will Become Your Habits
Social Proximity Effect
You’ll mirror the habits of the people you spend the most time with.
There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s simply a characteristic of humans and many other species. But it underlines the importance of being thoughtful about exactly what you expose yourself to for learning and who you spend time with and relate to.
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Key Ideas
The need for close friendships
We are social beings and we need to create intimacy with other people, for the well-being of our body, mind, and heart.
Close friendships regulate ...
Defining closeness
- Intimacy means being able to be fully yourself and be seen and understood by others.
- Reciprocation means that both people feel they are seen and understood by the other person.
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Key Ideas
Having No Routine
Having no routine or structure is so much more draining mentally, physically, and emotionally than any routine could ever be.
Why You Need a Routine
- It gives you structure, builds forward-moving habits, and creates momentum that will carry you on the days when you feel like you don't have the strength to carry yourself.
- Following a daily routine can help you establish priorities, limit procrastination, keep track of goals, and even make you healthier.
- It lowers your reliance on willpower and motivation.
Start the day with a mantra
... to get you into a positive mood for the day ahead. Put your mind in a good state right away, because left unchecked it will try to tell you the things that are wrong.
Pick a phrase or question that resonates with you. It could be as simple as smiling and saying "thank you" out loud, acknowledging that you have been gifted with another day.
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Key Ideas
Read For Immediate Rewards
Studies show that there’s correlation between human behavior change and immediate rewards. Receiving immediate rewards releases dopamine in our brains, which compels us to seek mor...
Use Triggers to Your Advantage
We often start habits and drop them a few days later. To combat this, you can use triggers to remind you to practice the habit. Examples of triggers:
- Reading at the same time everyday will prime your brain to automatically trigger itself to begin reading.
- Leaving your books in places you will easily see is another trigger. If you read books digitally you could pin your tab so it’s always in your visual perspective.
Stop Before You’re Finished
Studies indicate that the Zeigarnik Effect is real. It says you are more likely to recall uncompleted tasks than completed ones.
Knowing this pattern of our brains, we can trick it by forcing cliffhangers when we’re reading books. It’s hard to stop reading in the most interesting part but it will make you want to start reading again.