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Myth – Force Yourself Into Positive States
"You become what you think of. Force yourself to think positive and you’re good."
The Truth:
- Research shows that switching to a good mood when we’re normal is easy.
- When we’re anxious or stressed and we “force” ourselves to feel good is that we fail.
- When we’re already down and we fail to switch to happy, we feel even worse and powerless.
The Solution:
- Accept the idea that it’s OK not to be always happy.
- If you want to switch mood, getting other people to help and/or changing the environment can be more effective.
101
547 reads
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Myth – Visualize Winning
"The more you visualize yourself winning, the closer you get to actually winning."
The Truth:
- Thinking about goals increases the number of times people thought of those goals and decreased the amount of a...
102
546 reads
Myth – Law of Attraction
"If you think often enough and with enough conviction about what you want you can attract it in your life."
The Truth:
From a psychological perspective, this notion has some merit but there is
97
893 reads
Myth – EI Is 80% Of Success
"IQ doesn’t matter, it’s all about how you understand and get along with people."
The Truth:
- Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, found out that EI rises until mid-level management but then decreases at CEO level.
- Hence, if we ...
96
763 reads
Once the ratio hit about 11 to 1, positive emotions began doing more harm than good. Beyond that balance of positive-to-negative, Life becomes a festival of Panglossian cluelessness, where self-delusion suffocates self-improvement.
DANIEL PINK
97
628 reads
Myth – Release Anger
"To feel better and live fully, you must let out all negative emotions."
The Truth:
There is plenty of evidence that venting your anger actually only makes you more angry and aggressive and increases the negative consequences of anger.
94
678 reads
Myth – Brain Plasticity
"The brain can rewire and change itself, and that means that you can learn anything."
The Self-Help Lie:
- There is no talent, only effort.
- Since the brain is plastic, you can learn anything and you can get good at anything.
T...
99
921 reads
Myth – Only 7% of Communication is Verbal
"Most meaning of human communication is nonverbal, so you can forget about the actual words."
The Truth:
This is what, in a nutshell, the Mehrabian study tells us:
"When it comes to feelings and atittudes, we get most of our cues of the speaker’s i...
98
793 reads
Myth – Goal Setting in Yale
"A survey of Yale’s class of 1953 found out that people who wrote down their goals out-earned all the rest by several orders of magnitude."
The Truth:
Some people looked for the source of this study.
And there was none.
Finally,
96
581 reads
Myth – High Self-Esteem
"The more confident and the higher your self esteem, the better off you are."
The Truth:
That’s not wholly wrong. High self-esteem is good.
But only if accompanied by a
100
617 reads
Violence ensues when people feel that their favorable views of themselves are threatened or disputed by others.
As a result, people whose self-esteem is high but lacks a firm basis in genuine accomplishment are especially prone ...
ROY BAUMEISTER
97
555 reads
Myth – The 10,000 Hour Rule
"If you want to become world-class good all you need to do is put in 10,000 hours."
Why It’s Wrong:
- It focuses on the quantity of time practicing, not the quality of the practice ...
113
1.54K reads
Myth – Incantations
"Repeat yourself a mantra and you will eventually come to believe it and embody it."
The Truth:
"We have found that merely repeating positive statements to yourself does not raise ...
103
1K reads
Myth – Smile And You’re Happy
"To be happy, you just need to smile."
The Lie:
This was actually backed by a famous study originally called in psychology the “facial feedback hypothesis” (
95
597 reads
Myth – Focus Only on Positives
"If you focus on positives you will be happier and more successful. If you focus on the negative you will be unhappier."
The Truth:
- Frederickson and Losada found out that too many positi...
99
713 reads
Related collections
More like this
Compassion: The Antidote to Self-Criticism
Having compassion for yourself is really no different from having it for others. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes and it’s OK to feel stressed or sad. Pain and suffering are part of our shared human experience; they are just a reaction to what’s going on in our life.
Venting feelings is not always helpful
Science suggests that while venting your emotions feel good in the moment, it might make matters worse in the long run.
Sharing our emotions reduces our stress and make us feel closer to others. When we open up, and people respond with sympathy, we feel un...
Myth – Incantations
"Repeat yourself a mantra and you will eventually come to believe it and embody it."
The Truth:
"We have found that merely repeating positive statements to yourself does not raise ...
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