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Effective communication
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Venting feelings is not always helpful
Science suggests that while venting your emotions feel good in the moment, it might make matters worse in the long run.
Sharing our emotions reduces our stress and make us feel closer to others. When we open up, and people respond with sympathy, we feel understood and supported. But, expressing our emotions often to others may make us feel worse if we fail to gain some perspective and don't take steps to soothe ourselves.
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A healthier way to vent
- Be selective about when you vent. Instead of venting to people, you can gain perspective on your own by writing your thoughts down or changing your environment.
- When you vent to others, ask them for their perspective. It will help you not to keep reh...
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Why we vent
We vent our feelings to connect with other people who can help validate what we're going through. It feels good to know you have someone to rely on who takes the time to listen.
Sharing our feelings also help us to clarify and gain insight ...
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Venting negatively affect the listener
While supportive friends and family may care enough to listen and sympathize with us, there's often a limit to how much listeners can actually hear. It can be frustrating to listen to someone wallowing in emotion without learning from their experience. The listener may also "catch" these emotions...
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The dark side of venting
For many years, psychologists believed that dark emotions needed to be released physically, like hitting a soft object, like pillows or punching bags.
- However, this type of emotional venting makes people relive their anger in their bodies, strengthening the neural pathways for anger an...
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When to know the limits
Venting should not become a habit as it won't fix the problem. When to stop negative emotions:
- When venting becomes the main coping style cause delays in adaptive action.
- When sharing with others stresses them.
- When you don't feel better, and one or...
Why accepting emotions is helpful
What is the point of trying to accept your emotions, and wouldn’t it be easier to simply get rid of them?
Well, no, it isn’t easy to get rid of emotions. In fact, most people with BPD have tried to get rid of their emotions with little success. What they have learned, and what rese...
Emotions are contagious
Working in a negative environment can make you feel more miserable, and sharing a roof with a negative person can make you feel depressed.
We can try to withdraw from unhappy people, but when we really love others who are suffering, we want to help, not av...
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