Step 4: Truth - Deepstash

Step 4: Truth

When you do all the above steps, you will finally find out the truth, the truth of who you really are and what you are really worth.

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MORE IDEAS FROM LEARNING TO SILENCE THE INNER CRITIC

This principle simply states, ‘If I don’t like it from the outside (words or tone of voice), then I can’t use it on the inside.’

This principle, according to me, is the most simplest and maybe the most sensible way of dealing with that nagging voice from the inside.

Bhavna compares this inner critic to a 2 year old, someone who just says whatever they want, and the only way to control this 2 year old voice, is by being a parent to it. Being stern, yet loving. Slowly with a lot of practice, learning and caring we’ll be able to parent this inner 2 year old.

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Learning to silence the inner critic

I feel like we’ve all heard those at some point of our life, either from outside or from inside. Now, we may not be able to do much about the negativity that comes from outside but we can change the negativity from inside.

So I did a lot of research, which consisted of reading, writing and watching a lot of Ted talks and I’ve found the top 3 ways to of silencing the inner critic and being a better you.

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1) Try to understand the critic’s intent.

The critic inside you is like an angry sports coach. They want you to succeed and be the best version, but they have really poor execution style.

So, the best way to do learn the really intention of this critic is by looking behind the angry, rude, mean, hurtful things that your inner critic says, find the real reason for these words.

Is this inner voice trying to push you into being a better version of yourself? Or is it trying to keep you away from a hurtful situation? Or is it saying all of this just to hurt you? Try to figure it out!

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Give it a face, a shape, a body and a name. It can be anything you like. This is really important. It will create a boundary between the inner critic and your true self. It’s important to know that those are 2 completely different things.

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… on this inner critic. Every time these criticizing thoughts come knocking on your mental door, you tell them, “No thanks, bye!” and close that door on their face. Shut off the negative thoughts just like you would shut off a nosey neighbor when you’re on a bad mood. (Trust me, you don’t have any need for either of them!)

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Be aware and know which of these 2, your true self or the inner critic, is doing the talking. Again, remember that they are 2 completely different things.

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“.. to help cast aside our inner critic so our true self can shine.”

The way to do this is by following these 4 simple steps.

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Your inner critic

We almost all have a character inside our minds that tends to visit us late at night when we're very tired, telling us terrible things in order to destroy our self-confidence and self-compassion.

Too often, we don't know how to answer back. We forget that there might be any other perspectives. We let ourselves be beaten and sink into despair. However, we should prepare one or two things to shoot back at the critic when they next come calling.

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Becoming Young

Being young is being curious. And most people become cynical and overly critical towards life as they grow older, and only a select few retain the wonder, innocence and joy of a child.

An adult's life consists of optimizing life using knowledge, mental models and practical shortcuts, a race towards better efficiency in everything. We stop asking the right questions, like the most common question a child asks: Why?

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Replace Self-Criticism

Our brains automatically look for evidence that matches up with what we believe about ourselves, but often disregards other evidence to the contrary.

To break this automatic tendency, deliberately say something different to yourself and then actively search for evidence that the new statement is true. The more examples you come up with to support your alternate view, the less self-criticism will come around. 

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