Worrying about what others think

We all worry, in our own ways, about how we’re being perceived.

The fact that we’re being judged matters much more than whether those judgments seem fair or well-informed. We also don’t tend to worry about someone having an undeservedly high opinion of us, unless we can see how that might cause us trouble later.

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Problem Solving

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

Become aware of your own judgments. You’ll discover that they’re almost always categorical (good person or bad person), that they’re provoked by a single behavior, and that you rarely second-guess these judgments.

Notice what it feels like to judge a person, how absolute and uncomplicated it seems, then remember that you’re seeing this person through the keyhole of a single moment in their lives.

It’s impossible to be fairly judged. Nobody will ever understand you perfectly. You will continually be both underestimated and overestimated.

Your own assessment of yourself is hardly the “right” one. We tend to either obsess over our faults or overlook them completely.  And with strangers, there’s no hope of anything approaching a fair assessment. They have zero context for what they see in you. 

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RELATED IDEAS

  • The Paleo diet was born in academic circles in the '70s. Walter Voegtlin wrote that modern kinfolk would be much healthier if only they returned to the pre-agricultural food habits of the Paleolithic era.
  • An academic evangelizer, Loren Cordain, trademarked and built a brand around advocating for hunter-gatherer eating.  Celebrities and low-carb enthusiasts have helped fuel the craze.
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  • Our bodies have evolved to eat modern foods.
  • Paleo diets do help people lose weight — but so do all restrictive diets.

What Paleo diets get wrong: We're not evolved for meat, and our ancestors ate carbs

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Humans have an inbuilt drive to belong and be accepted. This makes us care about what others think of us.

  • In the pre-historic times, human beings couldn't survive if they were not part of a group. This makes belongingness part of our genes, which shaped our natural selection.
  • In the modern age, as we get more social and mobile, it is no longer necessary to be part of a group, as it is not crucial to be accepted by everyone. It helps to know how to care less about what other people think or do.

How To Stop Caring About What People Think & Do - Darius Foroux

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James Suzman's book titled Work: A Deep History, From the Stone Age to the Age of Robots examines our fixation with being productive, diving into the reason we are working hard in the first place.

Modern work, according to the author, is analogous with farming, which fundamentally changed our relationship with time, land, history and each other.

Our Collective Fixation on Productivity Is Older Than You Think

gq.com

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