The helicopter philosophy - Deepstash

The helicopter philosophy

Helicopter parenting is about being very involved in your children's lives.

However, overzealous helicopter patenting is when parents interfere with teachers or extracurricular activities and demand that their children are treated in a certain way. The overzealous version can be kept in line by checking in with friends first before flattening everything in your path.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Why the Best Parenting Style Isn't One Style at All, But Many

Parenting styles

There are many parenting styles that are part of a parent's toolbox, such as free-range, helicopter, authoritarian, snowplough, tiger style.

Each style uses a different tactic to raise children. However, parents seldom only use one tool when raising their children. More often, they use every tool at their disposal to get through.

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Lighthouse parenting is about creating stability. Parents allow life to be experienced but are always visible and willing to help.

For example, at bedtime, we talk about worries that cropped up in the day and chat about a manageable way to deal with them.

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This style is about raising children to become more independent and is an antidote to over-protective parenting.

Free-range parenting allows children to become confident, self-sufficient and independent by letting them practice skills. For example, children can make and pack their own lunches as part of the morning routine.

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Authoritarian parenting assumes high standards for the child, but there is less responsiveness. Tiger parenting is very similar to this style.

This style is often used as the last resort. For example, when a child throws a tantrum or is in a poor mood.

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The closeness and responsiveness of attachment parenting is part of building trust with our babies in the early stages.

This doesn't necessarily mean babywearing or co-sleeping, but these strategies can help in increasing responsiveness.

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Also known as lawnmower parenting, this parenting style refers to clearing all obstacles from the child's path.

Snowplow parenting is helpful to clear just enough for a child to manage the rest by themselves.

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Permissive parenting is where there are only a few rules placed on the children. Instead, parents are highly responsive to the needs of the child.

A potential problem with this style is that parents don't require anything from the child, creating unrealistic expectations of how the world is. However, this style can be used occasionally for a treat.

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Styles of Parenting

Your parenting style determines who your child will become. The way you interact with and discipline them, will be the influence they carry with them, now and into adulthood.

Researchers have identified four types of parenting styles:

  • Authoritarian
  • Authoritative
  • Permissive
  • Uninvolved

Each one takes a different approach to raising kids and can be identified by various characteristics.

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Being involved without smothering your kids

In Dr Haim Ginott's book Parents & Teenagers, teenagers used helicopter parenting to describe how their parents hovered over them like helicopters.

Helicopter parenting refers to a type of parents who are overly focused on their children. They usually take excessive responsibility for their children's experiences, specifically their successes or failures.

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Fear of abandonment can come from childhood loss or neglect as a child, especially if it is more emotional.

Brain development is the process of creating, strengthening, and discarding connections among the neurons. The growth of each region of the brain depends largely on receiving stimulation. By not attending to that stimulation, your body can't function properly.

The remedy to fear of abandonment in your relationship is to work on exercising that "attachment muscle," allowing yourself to become more vulnerable and open with your partner.

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