I invented a new word! - Deepstash
I invented a new word!

I invented a new word!

Plagiarism!

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MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.

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What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

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A man tells his doctor...

... “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies,Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

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Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

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What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

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What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.

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Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

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Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet the koalafications.

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Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.

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Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because they are easy to see through.

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Why doesn’t the sun go to college?

Because it has a million degrees!

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A bear walks into a bar

... and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. 

The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

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Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

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How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

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Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles

He kept leaving little messages around the house.

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Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?

It needed help figuring out its problems.

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Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needed to draw blood.

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RELATED IDEAS

LESLIE NIELSEN

“Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.”

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Whether it’s a play on words, a funny observation about everyday things or old witty sayings, comedy has a way of making us realize we’re all going through the same stuff in this crazy life.

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Step #5: Exits

Use bookmarks to end well. Examples:

  • Future Mentions: “Well, I can’t wait to see you at that ___ coming up—I’ll email you!
  • Inside Jokes: “It was great laughing with you. I’ll be sure to ___ in the future ;)
  • Same Same: “I’m so glad I met a fellow ___ fan. You made my night!”
  • You Have to See: “I’ll be sure to send that link your way, great talking to you!”

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The Origins Of Stand-Up Comedy

In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, America pioneered the concept of stand-up comedy, an art form that was an odd kind of basic, no-frills entertainment. A person facing a crowd, with a mic in hand, has to make them laugh.

The origins of stand-up comedy are traced to burlesque shows at New York City’s vaudeville theaters, mostly catering to people familiar with modern city life. The initial shows by the earliest ‘stand-up’ comedians were short and full of slapstick humor, as if racing to please the audience in the least amount of time.

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