Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? - Deepstash
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

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What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

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A man tells his doctor...

... “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies,Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.

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Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

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A bear walks into a bar

... and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. 

The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

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Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

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What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

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Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?

It needed help figuring out its problems.

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Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.

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What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.

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Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet the koalafications.

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How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

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Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because they are easy to see through.

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Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needed to draw blood.

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Why doesn’t the sun go to college?

Because it has a million degrees!

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Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

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Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles

He kept leaving little messages around the house.

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RELATED IDEA

LESLIE NIELSEN

“Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.”

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Whether it’s a play on words, a funny observation about everyday things or old witty sayings, comedy has a way of making us realize we’re all going through the same stuff in this crazy life.

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The human stomach can dissolve razor blades

On the rare occasion that you swallow a razor blade, don’t fret. The human body is more capable than you think. Acids are ranked on a scale from 0 to 14—the lower the pH level, the stronger the acid. Human stomach acid is typically 1.0 to 2.0, meaning that it has an impeccably strong pH. In a study, scientists found that the “thickened back of a single-edged blade” dissolved after two hours of immersion in stomach acid.

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How We Perceive Abstract Art

A new study that may be good news for both kinds of art lovers states that abstract art alters our minds cognitive state, causing measurable cognitive changes in the viewer.

Many people think modern, abstract art isn’t real art, and there are also others who deeply understand and appreciate it.

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