Applying The Silent Treatment To A Partner

People who consistently undermine or cause harm to a partner (whether intentionally or not) often have a reason for their behavior, even if it’s subconscious. 

Maybe they were in a toxic relationship, either romantically or as a child. Maybe they didn’t have the most supportive, loving upbringing. They could have been bullied in school. They could be suffering from an undiagnosed mental health disorder.

The most serious warning signs include any form of violence, abuse or harassment, which should be dealt with immediately. But in many cases, the indicators of a toxic relationship are much more subtle: Persistent unhappiness, negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem, feeling like you can’t talk with or voice concerns to your significant other.

Our self-esteem, mental and emotional health, positive and negative life experiences, and family relations all influence whom we’re attracted to. 

There is an amount of healthy idealization that helps us fall in love.

However, if we’re depressed or have low self-esteem, we’re more likely to idealize a prospective partner and overlook signs of trouble, such as unreliability or addiction, or accept disrespectful or abusive behavior. A lack of a support system or loneliness might also blind us to potential faults.

It is far better to first deal with these concerns before entering into a relationship.

Electronic communication is efficient, but it's detached. Sitting at a computer screen, the need for tact and a respectful tone disappears.

• Being on the receiving end of such impoliteness can create lingering stress and negative emotions. The recipient may find it harder to stay engaged at work. The stress associated with e-mail rudeness can spill over into family life and, like a chain reaction, can send stress signals to other people.
• A subtler form of aggression is failing to reply to a request, in effect giving others the "silent treatment." Not responding to an email leaves people hanging and struggling with uncertainty.

With remote work on the rise, the use of electronic communication has allowed incivility to thrive.

• To mitigate the stress, managers need to set clear and reasonable e-mail expectations. Organizations should create meaningful opportunities for employees to build good working relationships.
• For employees, the best option to cope is to unplug from work after-hours.
• Regardless of your level of stress, remember the rules of netiquette. Spend time composing your e-mail and notice inconsiderate expressions. Acknowledge a request and let your co-workers know when you will get back to them. Perhaps keep caps lock off.

Becoming truly who we are is the greatest privilege that life gives us. The people who let you blossom are the ones that need appreciation, kindness and respect.

Do not bully or victimize anyone for being different than the majority. Be the person that helps others give their fullest potential.

Being trustworthy and truthful isn’t something that really resonates nowadays, but is nonetheless the foundation of all relationships and healthy communication.

If we are concealing facts, covering up, withholding the truth, or are selective in our honesty, we see the consequences in no time.

Many people are in a state of emotional distress due to a situation like boredom, frustration, or being overwhelmed.

Food seems soothing to them in this state of dissociation, causing them to eat mindlessly, something called ‘stress eating’. This is a way to mentally escape or detach from the existing unpleasant situation.

Food is a temporary and suboptimal substitute for any emotional requirement. To break this pattern, one can try to express their emotional problems to an empathetic person from one’s inner circle of friends and loved ones.

Emotional pain can be corrected if it is expressed to a listener who is able to understand and acknowledge the same.

• The demand-withdrawal dynamic. One partner seeks change, discussion and a resolution to issues within the relationship, while the other partner is withdrawn, and tries to avoid the issues.
• The distancer-pursuer dynamic. One person tries to achieve a certain degree of intimacy with their partner, while the other considers this affection to be "smothering."
• The fear-shame dynamic. The fear and insecurity of one partner would bring out the shame and avoidance in the other. 

Not all power struggles are destructive. Some types of power struggles allow growth within the relationship and encourage a deeper understanding and respect for each other.

While it is still a struggle, by the end of it, you have reached an understanding about which lines can be crossed, which not, and how much each partner is able to compromise.

Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship.

While there’s nothing wrong inherently with being charming and romantic, the narcissist crafts these traits in order to use others. He or she is not really interested in you, but only in what he wants to extract from you.

Many narcissists lack reliability and follow through. This can range from regularly breaking appointments, to habitually falling through on promises and agreements.

When you observe a pattern of inconsistency between what your partner says, versus what she or he actually does, you may be dealing with a narcissist.

Studies show that people who witness the act of gratitude get affected positively towards the grateful person as well as the person who is being thanked (benefactor).

They see the grateful person as someone who is kind, and who notices when other people do kind things and takes the time to acknowledge them, making them socially desirable. People also warm up towards the person that is receiving the gratitude, as it is signaled as a person who is effective at being supportive or helpful.

Expressing more gratitude works, and more so if done in a demonstrative way, with a hug or flowers.

A sincere thanks benefit our social connections in the entire group or circle.

• Some therapists are just there to listen and provide a backdrop.
• Even the silence that they exhibit seems to kindle the patients into divulging more of their most uncomfortable truths.
• Others keep the sequence of assignments and tests lined up, never pausing.
• Therapists play varied roles to get some valuable information out of the patient and make him better.

No particular form of therapy is proven to be better or more effective than others.

Different people prefer or respond to different forms of therapy.

For behavior to mean something about commitment, it must be behavior that the person has control over performing. If one's options are limited by the context their intentions cannot be read.

In the context of dating and mating, option constraints on you or your partner, limits the information contained in the choices you make. That means that some may routinely misinterpret the behavior of their partners as a signal of commitment when it isn’t.