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Fighting FOMO: 4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing Out | The Art of Manliness

What you really wish to do

Choosing one path means missing another.

When you feel FOMO coming on, ask yourself if the trigger is really something you wish you were doing yourself, or if the sudden recollection of the great number of choices in life has simply brought on a moment of insecurity about your own

If it’s the latter, taking a moment to reaffirm your decision is all it takes to chase the FOMO away.

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Fighting FOMO: 4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing Out | The Art of Manliness

Fighting FOMO: 4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing Out | The Art of Manliness

https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/fighting-fomo-4-questions-that-will-crush-the-fear-of-missing-out/

artofmanliness.com

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Key Ideas

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

FOMO is the experience of worrying that other people are doing more interesting things than you, have more friends than you, and are just all around living a better and cooler life.

The prime source of FOMO is of course social media, which allows you to peruse the highlights of other people’s lives in real time.

What you really wish to do

Choosing one path means missing another.

When you feel FOMO coming on, ask yourself if the trigger is really something you wish you were doing yourself, or if the sudden recollection of the great number of choices in life has simply brought on a moment of insecurity about your own

If it’s the latter, taking a moment to reaffirm your decision is all it takes to chase the FOMO away.

The need for a change

Keep in mind that your FOMO trigger may not relate directly to something you wish you were doing yourself, but can instead point more broadly to something you want to change about your life.

Examine the source of your FOMO before dismissing it; there may be a good reason you feel insecure about your decisions.

What is viable for you right now

Embrace the idea of different seasons in your life.

If there’s something from a previous season in your life that you once enjoyed but doesn’t fit into it right now, instead of spending your time worried about what you’re missing out on, make the most of the uniqueness of your current season.

Representation of reality

What you see online is a groomed and sanitized image of someone else’s life. Measuring the entirety of your life against this cherry-picked peek of another’s is a recipe for feeling inadequate.

Use technology wisely

Social media outlets are merely tools – ones that can add or detract from your life depending on whether or not you deploy them wisely.

  • Set a certain time limit for using it each day.
  • Filter who you see in your news feed to those you actually care about.
  • Don’t be friends with your ex-girlfriends on Facebook.
  • Don’t engage in a FOMO arms race.

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The fear of missing out (FOMO)

FOMO = the compulsive desire to experience something (or be somewhere) motivated by the fear of what you will potentially lose. And this idea of loss is usually imagined. FOMO is that i...

FOMO and the quality of our experiences

FOMO make us want to accumulate as many experiences as possible, but at the same time, it robs those experiences of any real meaning. That's because it causes people to make their decisions based not on the reality of the experience, but rather the imagined experience. 

Overcoming FOMO

The way to get out of feeling FOMO is to start killing those fantasies that you’re letting rule your decision making. And that means understanding there’s no such thing as a perfect night out or a perfect party. 

Slow down

Practice taking your time when eating, driving, talking, or engaging in the tasks of everyday living. 

Practice discernment

... in regard to distinguishing what is truly important and necessary from what is merely desirable.

Focus on the kinds of things that enhance the quality not the quantity of your experiences.


Go for the experience, not the symbol

There are always going to be people we admire and perhaps envy. It’s “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome.

Focusing on the experience—a feeling of accomplishment, adventure, connection, fun, self-respect, freedom—that underlies the object or symbol—wealth, marriage, a sports car, a luxurious home—helps us distinguish what is truly fulfilling from that which can only provide a temporary feeling of pleasure.

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FOMO Comes From Unhappiness

You’re not feeling so great — whether you realize it or not — and you turn to social media to make you feel better. Only one problem there: it actually makes you feel worse…

The Facebook Illusion

We all know that Facebook doesn’t provide a very well-rounded picture of people’s lives. It’s more like the cherry-picked perfection version.

People with FOMO have ambivalent feelings toward Facebook. It brings them up when they post about their own carefully edited version of life awesomeness, and slams them back down when they feel they have to compete with other people's lifestyle awesomeness - especially when they're feeling a little down or anxious themselves.

The Problem Is Attention

Looking at social media for happiness is a bad idea. You won’t find it out there. Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness. 

Changing behavior and enhancing happiness is as much about withdrawing attention from the negative as it is about attending to the positive.

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