Self-Help is Making Us Less Happy - Deepstash
Self-Help is Making Us Less Happy

Self-Help is Making Us Less Happy

The process of making ourselves better than who we were yesterday can be an exhaustive thing to do. In a world where we're constantly inundated with the cheer for self-improvement, we then become obsessed with the idea of improve, improve, improve!

When we become too addicted to looking inward and achieving our own ideals. our need to overperform has become pathological.Thus a solidified conclusion is never entirely possible because we insert ourselves in every situation that cannot be fixed by ourselves alone.

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MORE IDEAS FROM The Problem with Constant Self-Improvement | Wit & Delight

On The Obsession Of Happiness

Can you admit to yourself that you're happy all of the time? I can't. I'm not happy with myself everyday and it's scary to think that I may be conditioned to feel like I can do better and be more positive and be more productive.

Growing up, we learned that we have to "climb the ladder", to push harder than yesterday if I want a different tomorrow, and that we are the decision makers of our fate.

However, the happiness imperative is vague and shallow because no one really knows what happiness is. It's more important to be interested in something beyond ourselves.

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Appreciating Ambitiousness with a Slower Process

Being ambitious is never a bad thing and being able to see ourselves progress on something that we love doing makes us elated and honestly, we should be proud of how far we've come.

But it's important to keep in mind that self-improvement and happiness are not connected. To appreciate ourselves we have to step away from ourselves and be able to define what life means without the egotistical authenticity search.

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Svend Brinkmann

People think that individual freedom is about removing limits so they can do whatever they want, but I think it's the opposite. Without limits, we cannot be free.

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RELATED IDEA

Why we desire self-improvement

We are all drawn to the possibility of becoming our "best self" and work towards confidence and a great career.

Bestselling self-improvement books add credibility to this idea because they are often authored by highly successful people who assure us that we can also find the same success.

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Constant self-optimization

The problem with focusing on constant self-optimization is that it is a process without end. We can never say we've reached the full version of ourselves. We may feel that we are not (and can never be) good enough. We're never allowed to be happy and satisfied.

Also, it's not that you shouldn't become your best self, but the concern is that the self-help craze, with the drive to optimize yourself all the time, has become pathological.

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Habits form a core idea in behavior change. It requires that you change your behavior by regularly doing something.

To get fit, you need to have a habit of eating well and exercising. To have loving relationships, you need good habits of communication.

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