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Facts Don't Change Our Minds. Friendship Does
Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing them to change their tribe. If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing societies. You can’t expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too. You have to give them somewhere to go. Nobody wants their worldview torn apart if loneliness is the outcome.
The way to change people minds to become their friends, to integrate them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle..Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned.
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
The Logic Of False Beliefs
We don't always believe things because they are correct. Sometimes we believe things because they make us look good to the people we care about.
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382 reads
The Spectrum Of Beliefs
When it comes to changing people's minds, it is very difficult to jump from one side to another. You can't jump down the spectrum. You have to slide down it. The best place to ponder a threatening idea is in a non-threatening environment.
In conversation, people have to carefully consider...
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20 reads
Why False Ideas Persist
Silence is death for any idea. An idea that is never spoken or written down dies with the person who conceived it. Ideas can only be remembered when they are repeated.They can only be believed when they are repeated.
People also repeat bad ideas when they ...
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23 reads
Be Kind First, Be Right Later
When we are in the moment, we can easily forget that the goal is to connect with the other side, collaborate with them, befriend them, and integrate them into our tribe. We are so caught up in winning that we forget about connecting. It's easy to spend your energy labeling people rather than work...
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Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right.
HARUKI MURAKAMI
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27 reads
People are embraced or condemned according to their beliefs, so one function of the mind may be to hold beliefs that bring the belief-holder the greatest number of allies, protectors, or disciples, rather than beliefs that are most likely to be true.
STIVEN PINKER
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56 reads
The Intellectual Soldier
If the goal is to actually change minds, then criticizing the other side isn't the best approach.
Most people argue to win. People often act like soldiers rather than scouts. Soldiers are on the intellectual attack looking to defeat the peo...
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16 reads
Belief Over Fact
False beliefs can be useful in a social sense even if they are not useful in a factual sense. We might call this approach “facutually false but socially accurate.” When we have to choose between the two, people often select friends and family over facts.
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47 reads
Humans are herd animals. We want to fit in, to bond with others, and to earn the respect and approval of our peers. Such inclinations are essential to our survival. For most of our evolutionary history, our ancestors lived in tribes. Becoming separated from the tribe—o...
JAMES CLEAR
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65 reads
CURATED FROM
IDEAS CURATED BY
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Other curated ideas on this topic:
We don't like change
- Some people say they want to change, but they don't really mean it.
- Even when altering our behavior represents all reward and no risk and clinging to the status quo can costs us our careers and relationships, we still resist change.
- Smoking should be a relati...
Beliefs And Internal Narratives
Our beliefs and internal narratives are extremely important to our mental health and people normally are aware of them but they are often not very healthy. It is hard to change our beliefs but through enough practice they can go away. Because we crave instant gra...
Ways To Handle Conspiracy Theories
Social media gives people a platform and makes you more prone to seeing and learning that someone you know believes false ideas:
- Before you engage with someone to convince them that their claims are baseless, ask yourself what you’ll get out of it.
- If you’ve decided to en...
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