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How To Fully Commit To Goals That Terrify You - Thrive Global - Medium

Turning ideas into reality

When an idea becomes your obsession and purpose, and it is highly personal to you, then you can take that idea and quickly turn it into a reality.

Ideas can only truly catch hold if they are embedded within a deeply emotional experience that reshapes how you view your identity and purpose in life.

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How To Fully Commit To Goals That Terrify You - Thrive Global - Medium

How To Fully Commit To Goals That Terrify You - Thrive Global - Medium

https://medium.com/thrive-global/what-happens-when-you-commit-to-playing-life-bigger-than-ever-before-8f37296fc9e0

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Key Ideas

Turning ideas into reality

When an idea becomes your obsession and purpose, and it is highly personal to you, then you can take that idea and quickly turn it into a reality.

Ideas can only truly catch hold if they are embedded within a deeply emotional experience that reshapes how you view your identity and purpose in life.

Buckminster Fuller

Buckminster Fuller

“You never change things by fighting against the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.”

Adapting to our circumstances

Whether you’re currently winning or losing in life — you will quickly adapt to your circumstances. The brain needs novelty to thrive, otherwise, it quickly becomes stale.

The worst thing you can do is to focus most of your energy and thought on maintaining your current position or protecting your current status.

Detaching from prior success

The only way to get to the next level is by letting go of who you’ve been. The longer you hold on, the smaller your thinking will be.

Don’t get stuck where you were. Be willing to banish the past, no matter how great, for a better future.

Stepping into growth

Every time you step into growth, you’ll experience an increase in complexity and chaos. Growth is the process of taking something complex and making it simple

This is how you grow. You step into chaos and create simplicity and knowingness.

Exploration and searching

These are the keys to discovering what is possible and what is out there. 

You don’t know what you don’t know. You must be exposed to new universes to realize it’s possible to expand far beyond the current sphere in which you are.

Comparisons and mimicry

Comparing yourself to others (those at the top of the industry), being inspired by someone and learning from their mastery is essential to learning and growth. Mimicry, however, is a very bad thing.

Study the best examples and understand what worked out for them so you can quickly innovate and evolve beyond that. Don’t be an imitator. Be an innovator. 

Conceptualizing your new ‘why’

As you begin to map out the possibilities (in the form of various role-models from multiple domains), you begin to crystallize and clarify your personal 'Why'.

You’ll be able to have concrete concepts to point to in explaining what matters to you, where you’re going, and how you’re going to do it.

Greg McKeown

Greg McKeown

“To discern what is truly essential we need space to think, time to look and listen, permission to play, wisdom to sleep, and the discipline to apply highly selective criteria to the choices we make.” 

Forcing yourself forward

You begin making changes to your environment and relationships that reflect the old you and old vision.

Your environment, language, behavior, and life begin to quickly reshape themselves to match the new reality you’ve spiritually and emotionally created.

H.L. Hunt

H.L. Hunt

“There are only three requirements for success. First, decide exactly what it is you want in life. Second, determine the price that you are going to have to pay to get the things you want. And third, and this is most important, resolve to pay that price."

3 steps for extreme levels of motivation

  • You must believe the reward (the ‘WHY’) of a particular goal is important, meaningful, and compelling.
  • You must believe that you know how (clear strategies/plans/people) to achieve your goal.
  • You must believe that you can execute the plans, strategies, and pivoting involved in achieving the goal.

Jim Rohn

Jim Rohn

“Don’t join an easy crowd; you won’t grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high.”

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“It doesn’t matter what your vision is. It matters what your vision does.” — Peter M. Senge, The Fifth Disciple

“It doesn’t matter what your vision is. It matters what your vision does.” — Peter M. Senge, The Fifth Disciple
Practice is all about perfecting skills
True practice and learning force you to deeply examine the chinks in your armor. You are only as strong as your weakest link. In a world that tells you to ignore your weaknesses, true practitioners do the opposite.

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William Bridges

“Change can happen at any time, but transition comes along when one chapter of your life is over, and another is w..."

William Bridges
The Stages of Transition

The experience of Transition has 4 main stages:

  1. Disengagement: the feeling of separation from what is lost
  2. Disidentification: the destruction of the old identity
  3. Disenchantment: tearing out of the old reality
  4. Disorientation: the feeling of being lost and bewildered by the loss experienced.
Change is Inevitable

Change is the only constant in life.

It is always a certainty and failure to cope with change is not an option.

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Intimate Relationships

You and your partner are best able to define what you think a successful relationship looks like.

When assessing your relationship, instead of comparing it to other couples, ask: “How do w...

Parenting

Instead of criticizing yourself (or your children) for not being perfect, give yourself credit for being the best parent you can be. Enjoy your children for who they are.

If there are areas where you can do better, focus on those things and give them your best shot.

Professional Achievements

You’ve worked hard to get where you are. Instead of comparing yourself to your friends and colleagues, appreciate the extent of what you have already achieved.

Then, challenge yourself in the next round of your journey.

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Meta-Skills

A meta-skill is a high order skill that allows you to engage with functional expertise more effectively

It magnifies and activates other skills and is a catalyst for learning an...

Skills And Meta-Skills

Skills are temporary; meta-skills are permanent.

Learning a second language gives you a skill, a learned ability. A meta-skill, on the other hand, is your ability to learn new languages. Developing that meta-skill, makes it easier to learn a third or a fourth tongue.

Alvin Toffler
Alvin Toffler

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."

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Ways to improve your life
Ways to improve your life

There are a few different ways you can go about setting a goal or creating a new habit.

  • Target the minimum output. You focus on always doing at least a little bit so t...
When to Focus on the Minimum

Minimum targeting works well for establishing long-term habits.

A goal of, for instance, doing fifty push-ups every day might not be ideal for fitness, but doing something is better than doing nothing.

Another reason to focus on the minimum is that it assumes the difficulty is in starting. To start a process can often be the hardest. Then you want to set a lower threshold to make starting as easy as possible.

When to Target the Average

Focusing on the average makes sense when you're hoping to sustain something, even if it is not always a perfectly easy and consistent output.

It works when you are already putting in a bit of effort, but want to improve that effort over the long-term.

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Identity-based habits

The beliefs you have about yourself can drive your long-term behavior.

You could trick yourself into going to the gym or eating healthy once or twice, but if you don't shift your under...

3 layers of behavior change
  • A change in your outcomes
  • A change in your processes
  • A change in your identity.

Most people start by focusing on outcome-based goals like “I want to lose 20 pounds”. But these are surface-level changes.

The root of behavior change

... and building better habits is your identity.

Each action you perform is driven by the belief that it is possible. So if you change your identity (the type of person that you believe that you are), then it’s easier to change your actions.

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Get Your Emotions in Check
  • Practice mind control and master it! Get rid of bad thoughts; they will just constantly remind you badly of yourself. Instead, use that flaw as an inspiration to train yourse...
Causing unintentional harm

We all cause harm to our partner and the intimacy between us. We make mistakes that are foolish and unintentional and sometimes launch attacks on purpose.

When you wound another, apologi...

How to give an apology

A good apology takes two people: the giver and the receiver. An apology that heals is based on kindness, generosity, and compassion. 

The recipient accepts it with grace and, in turn, offers forgiveness. Without forgiveness, it cannot heal.

The mindful apology in practice
  • Repair: An apology that rebuilds intimacy should have three parts: you need to own the mistake, and then you need to repair the damage. Lastly, you need to vow to improve.
  • Forgive:  If you have been hurt, you may never completely forget, but you can choose to forgive. To decide to forgive means that you don't relive something that belongs to the past.
  • Begin again: Unfinished business will accumulate. Let go of the small and the large wounds, so they don't pile up. 
Ideologies ≠ Ideologues
Ideologies ≠ Ideologues

Ideologies: ideas that, disguised as science or philosophy, claim to explain the complexity of the world and offer remedies that will perfect it.

Ideologues: people who pretend ...

Virtue ≠ Virtue Signaling

Jordan Peterson observed that virtues aim for balance and to avoid the extremes of the vices. Cultivating judgment about the difference between virtue and vice is the beginning of wisdom.

Modern relativism asserts judging how to live is impossible, because good and virtue are relative. Thus relativism’s version of “virtue” is “tolerance.” This leads to people broadcasting their tolerance as a form of self-promotion, and secret vice, which is also known as virtue signaling.

Order and Chaos

Order is where the people around you act according to the established social norms, remaining predictable and cooperative. Society is simultaneously structure and oppression.

Chaos is where the unexpected happens. 

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Tony Buzan -Inventor of Mindmapping

Normal linear note-taking and writing will put you into a semi-hypnotic trance, while mind mapping ..."

Tony Buzan -Inventor of Mindmapping
Blank mind map template

This is the default starting point for any mindmap.

Simple mind map template

Mind maps can become quite expansive and elaborate. To simplify, start with a simple mind map template.

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