The experience of Transition has 4 main stages:

1. Disengagement: the feeling of separation from what is lost
2. Disidentification: the destruction of the old identity
3. Disenchantment: tearing out of the old reality
4. Disorientation: the feeling of being lost and bewildered by the loss experienced.

Change is the only constant in life.

It is always a certainty and failure to cope with change is not an option.

Instead of criticizing yourself (or your children) for not being perfect, give yourself credit for being the best parent you can be. Enjoy your children for who they are.

If there are areas where you can do better, focus on those things and give them your best shot.

You’ve worked hard to get where you are. Instead of comparing yourself to your friends and colleagues, appreciate the extent of what you have already achieved.

Then, challenge yourself in the next round of your journey.

Minimum targeting works well for establishing long-term habits.

A goal of, for instance, doing fifty push-ups every day might not be ideal for fitness, but doing something is better than doing nothing.

Another reason to focus on the minimum is that it assumes the difficulty is in starting. To start a process can often be the hardest. Then you want to set a lower threshold to make starting as easy as possible.

Focusing on the average makes sense when you're hoping to sustain something, even if it is not always a perfectly easy and consistent output.

It works when you are already putting in a bit of effort, but want to improve that effort over the long-term.

Skills are temporary; meta-skills are permanent.

Learning a second language gives you a skill, a learned ability. A meta-skill, on the other hand, is your ability to learn new languages. Developing that meta-skill, makes it easier to learn a third or a fourth tongue.

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."

• A change in your outcomes
• A change in your processes
• A change in your identity.

Most people start by focusing on outcome-based goals like “I want to lose 20 pounds”. But these are surface-level changes.

... and building better habits is your identity.

Each action you perform is driven by the belief that it is possible. So if you change your identity (the type of person that you believe that you are), then it’s easier to change your actions.

A good apology takes two people: the giver and the receiver. An apology that heals is based on kindness, generosity, and compassion. 

The recipient accepts it with grace and, in turn, offers forgiveness. Without forgiveness, it cannot heal.

• Repair: An apology that rebuilds intimacy should have three parts: you need to own the mistake, and then you need to repair the damage. Lastly, you need to vow to improve.
• Forgive:  If you have been hurt, you may never completely forget, but you can choose to forgive. To decide to forgive means that you don't relive something that belongs to the past.
• Begin again: Unfinished business will accumulate. Let go of the small and the large wounds, so they don't pile up. 

This is the default starting point for any mindmap.

Mind maps can become quite expansive and elaborate. To simplify, start with a simple mind map template.

Jordan Peterson observed that virtues aim for balance and to avoid the extremes of the vices. Cultivating judgment about the difference between virtue and vice is the beginning of wisdom.

Modern relativism asserts judging how to live is impossible, because good and virtue are relative. Thus relativism’s version of “virtue” is “tolerance.” This leads to people broadcasting their tolerance as a form of self-promotion, and secret vice, which is also known as virtue signaling.

Order is where the people around you act according to the established social norms, remaining predictable and cooperative. Society is simultaneously structure and oppression.

Chaos is where the unexpected happens.