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The ultimate social skill

The ultimate social skill

Love people, respect people, admire people, be interested in what people are going through, compliment people, see the best in people, forgive people, don't judge people, help people, shower people with your love. 

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Conversations are two-way streets. 

However, sometimes it's perfectly fine to say, "Wow, that's really cool." You don't always need to have a follow-up story, or the answer or the opinion. Ask your interlocutor another question. Nod your head. Be silent. 

Remember the names of people's family members, pets, hobbies, details about the job, a side gig, what are they obsessed with, remember as much as you can. 

People appreciate when they realize that you actually listened to them and remembered their story.

Interested people are interesting. Ask people questions. 

Try to learn something you did not know before from your interlocutor.

The truest power of networking lies in following up. That is how relationships are built. 

Try to come up with the recommendation during the conversation and then promise to follow up with the link/recipe/code/useful person's contact, etc. And do it. This will show that you are caring, dili...

Do you function better in 1-on-1 conversations or in a large crowd?

This is an important distinction and knowing how you function best will help you create the best environment for your social skills to shine.

Ask people to repeat their names. If it's hard, ask them to spell it for you. Repeat after them. 

If you forget, ask someone else from the group, "Hey, what was the name of the guy in a red shirt? I forgot." Do whatever you have to do to remember. And then call people by their names....

Nobody wants to chat only with you for hours. 

Have a nice conversation and move on.

Most people are not listening, but rather trying to be the loudest person in the room. 

If you ask questions and listen, you are extremely likely to stand out from the crowd. 

... or ironic and don't complain all the time. 

All of these behaviors are people repellent. We naturally gravitate towards people who are kind, loving, cheerful, and funny, rather than to those who complain all the time.

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Tips for being more likeable in social situations

  • Don't overshare your whole life's story. 
  • Actually listen to what people say. Then respond accordingly.

  • Remember people's names and use them. 

  • Be super positive & awesome to be around. Pessimists don't win many fr...

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  • Thinking of your time as money
  • Scheduling your energy
  • Networking
  • Getting started early
  • Planning everything in advance
  • Setting short goals
  • Meditating and winding down
  • Active Listening
  • Eliminating ANTS(automatic negative thoughts)...

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Make friends, not contacts

Friends do business with friends.

By no means is this a suggestion to go be one of those social climbers who pretends to make friends in the name of getting to the top. It's more about having genuine connections, with openly stated goals, aspirations and struggles. 

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